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Thread: isfj's being boring

  1. #21
    Reptilian Array Snuggletron's Avatar
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    Sep 2009


    I know of two ISFJs on hand, one I know online, one I dated. Both are very family-oriented people, both are past-oriented people. The girl I dated was pretty vanilla but I know that there was more to her, I just couldn't relate to it. She also had silent expectations of me as to how I was supposed to act around her, although I'm not a very warm or publicly-affectionate person so that lent itself to the inevitable failure. The other ISFJ is plain awesome, very open about taboo subjects, has a sense of humor and it is great to talk to. She is in tune with more shades of grey of reality than the girl I dated, who kind of had flat ways of looking at things if that makes any sense. It doesn't matter what personality type you are, if you don't possess certain dimensions others have they can't relate to you and will probably find you uninteresting.

  2. #22


    Quote Originally Posted by Trentham View Post
    Herein lies the difference, at least from an INTP's perspective. My mind prefers to flush details that it considers irrelevant to any given experience. Instead, I tend to formulate a thought pattern I can integrate into my knowledge base, or a general emotional state gleaned from the experience. So rather than a detailed, frame-by-frame replay (as in watching a video recording), my memories tend to be applied on a conceptual level to my mental and emotional framework. Some images are retained, but recalling a particular distant memory is more like looking at a (partially complete) scrapbook than watching a video.

    Conversely, ISFJs (actually most Sensors, I'd wager) consider the detail of a memory to be vitally important. They want to take a mental picture and retain the entirety of it for direct future reference. Obviously one of the better ways to maintain and reinforce these highly detailed collections of mental imagery is to talk about them. A lot.
    Hm. I suppose that does make sense, and it feels like Ts are more likely to do this than Fs. I can't say that I'd describe my experiences as being detailed though, since I'm usually a little fuzzy on the minor details.

    It feels more like screenshotting something and having the most important parts of it highlighted. So when there's a similar experience, this tends to trigger a dejavu sense and remind me of what I had learnt as I recall that experience. Sometimes it's just a feeling I recall, but they are all anchors in a way that allow for recollection of other screenshots of insight and emotion.

    Hm. In your method where you are conceptualizing something and discarding 'irrelevant details' - would that not mean that there are times where you might be: Oh I learnt this... but I can't remember how or when I learnt it?

  3. #23
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    May 2009
    6w5 sp/sx


    One of my best friends is ISFJ. Generally I think she's anything but boring. I can have really deep conversations with her about the things that matter to me...except we tend to run out of steam on poetry fairly soon, but at least she'll be polite about it.

    I guess, to be perfectly honest, she can be a bit boring if she starts going on about her home renovations in detail (which she sometimes does) or what so-and-so said at work, in detail (which she also sometimes does). But what's the big deal? I probably bore her by being too emo sometimes. I figure that as we're such good friends I can put up with a little boredom...and it's only a little...occasionally. Generally she is fun in a quiet way and has a quirky sense of humor.
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


  4. #24
    Senior Member Array Trentham's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Hm. In your method where you are conceptualizing something and discarding 'irrelevant details' - would that not mean that there are times where you might be: Oh I learnt this... but I can't remember how or when I learnt it?
    Sometimes that's the case. Often though I do remember how or where I learned something, but I couldn't tell you anymore than the most basic of circumstances surrounding the experience.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

  5. #25
    Perfect Gentleman! =D Array d@v3's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    People say I'm boring. But my best friend is an ENFP, and he is not boring. When we hang out we always find some way to get into trouble- and usually I end up getting blamed for it!
    Freedom Isn't Free.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Array
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    Jun 2011
    2 so/sx


    It's also the Fe that makes ISFJs more boring than ISTJs (at least in non-work environments


    And since most of society is veeeery close-minded, ISFJs need s stamp of approval (Oprah said it's OK) to say or do anything that might impact their social image.

    Hands down the most boring type because of the Si-Fe combo.

    If the rules allow it, if nobody from work is going to see, if I won't look stupid, etc., the ISTJ is more likely to break away from convention to make room for their kiddy Ne to play.

    But if there is anybody around to see, the ISFJ's Fe brain will melt before allowing that. Dom Si, semiconscious Ne (aka "all-the-bad-things-that-can-happen") compliments the Fe self-censorship.

    But if they are in a society where creativity is "proper", it's even funnier watching them try so hard to be crazy "the right way"

  7. #27
    Temporal Mechanic. Array Lexicon's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    5w6 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by ehastin1 View Post
    ok so I've read and get the impression in everyday life that people tend to find us isfj's pretty boring. Why is this?

    I'm a guy in college, and I know I'm not the most exciting person, but I love to go out and have a good time. Also, my friends enjoy my company and I'm generally considered the goofy one out of my what makes us so dull?

    Need I say more?
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  8. #28


    i dated an isfj who was a great guy. i would not describe as boring, but more sweet and had many endearing qualities. he was a little bit of a nerd and enjoyed drawing out his fantasy and published a few comic books. he loved writing stories too. one of his old email names was quite cute, its not his anymore but it was minion-something.

    one thing i found really interesting about him, was that he was a pack rat. so he described himself. it was true. his dad gave him a wallet when he was a kid, i guess because of sentimental value, he kept it to now and it was just covered in duct tape. it was more duct tape than wallet but still he would not part with it because his dad, who still is alive, gave it to him.

    i think one of the wonderful things he done for me was, he held my hand when i was going through some really hard times, did not leave my side. had a way of making you feel secure, which was nice.
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

  9. #29
    Blah Array Orangey's Avatar
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    Jun 2008


    They're only boring if you get more than one of them together and they start talking about their coupon/shopping shit. No joke, this conversation actually took place with two twenty-something ISFJs dudes that I know.

    Otherwise they're good fun. Pleasant, socially competent people for the most part.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #30
    The Memes Justify the End Array EcK's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    ILE None


    My mom s an isfj. Yesterday i was told an old lady i liked died. I was saddened. She then went on about Hat happened and how she died, the precursor signs etc. I was like "mom. Please. Stop" (with the si list)
    But she s good people. I like my mom. She can drive me nuts with her attention to "what is proper" but hey, she means well.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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