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  1. #1
    Junior Member gracefully's Avatar
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    Default How can i change people's perception of me? (I am ISFJ)

    People always describe me as "nice, sweet, cute"

    If could be an animal, my friends would always liken me to a lamb or a doe.

    I always get perceived to be younger. I am in my early twenties, and many people have told me I look sixteen

    The one that I dislike the most is that some would go far as to say that I look vulnerable or afraid (even though I do not feel that way, well sometimes anyway)

    I have actually tried to change this perception of me because I want to be perceived as a strong, confident woman, and not a passive fearful woman. Sometimes at work I feel like I am not being treated seriously because of this image that I have. I tried changing my body language--talking more loudly, dressing older, making eye contact, etc.

    No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work. What can I do?

  2. #2
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    You sound like an ISFJ friend of mine...I always call her cute lol. But I like her the way she is, for the most part...she could be a little less dull, though...but that's not the point.

    Just be yourself, be proud of yourself, and be confident in whatever decisions you make and whatever you decide to do. Tell people, 'Yeah, maybe I want to be sweet, you got a problem with that?'

    They might think differently of you being sweet at that point, however.

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I think this image is something that is unchangeable, unless you're willing to get yourself into trouble to change it. I know because I have it too.

    It has it's pluses and minuses, just like everything else.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    The next time someone calls you cute, flip up your middle finger and smile.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Really, the best way is to find a character on television who embodies the traits you want and to copy them. Watch two or more episodes a day for the next 4 weeks. (Download, rent, whatever.) You'll start to absorb their traits naturally within a couple weeks. If, on top of that, you make a conscious effort to mimic them, you'll absorb even more. You'll learn how to be a little more edgy, to pick fights, and to stand your ground, and you'll start seeing YOURSELF differently. As soon as that happens, people's perception of you will fall in line. If it not, you'll correct them, naturally.

    Any ideas for some TV shows?

    and by adding a little more effort, you

  6. #6
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gracefully View Post
    People always describe me as "nice, sweet, cute"

    If could be an animal, my friends would always liken me to a lamb or a doe.

    I always get perceived to be younger. I am in my early twenties, and many people have told me I look sixteen

    The one that I dislike the most is that some would go far as to say that I look vulnerable or afraid (even though I do not feel that way, well sometimes anyway)

    I have actually tried to change this perception of me because I want to be perceived as a strong, confident woman, and not a passive fearful woman. Sometimes at work I feel like I am not being treated seriously because of this image that I have. I tried changing my body language--talking more loudly, dressing older, making eye contact, etc.

    No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work. What can I do?

    Wearing a g-string makes you feel "grown up".

    That's my advice for the day.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  7. #7
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Maybe House would be a good role model.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gracefully View Post
    No matter what I do it doesn't seem to work. What can I do?
    I have a similar problem. I am 30 and got IDed trying to buy a 16-rated video game.

    I find that having such an image (on top of being an introvert) is more problematic with very dominant types, it's like I trigger their domination inclination because they don't act the same with physically bigger people or more extraverted people. Or with others, they assume I'm simple and not very smart and are patronising to me.

    I find there's not much you can do in the sense of changing the image. You can work the quietness though. What I find can work is to change their opinion over time, if there is time, through natural observation and interaction with you. Or you play it low-key and let them get comfortable with looking down on you and then suddenly play a trump card so they are shocked, but not as if you did it for their benefit, like, you just suddenly let them see something and they are caught off guard and then act more carefully. Or be really calm and tolerant and observant, letting them get comfortable, until they suddenly feel the observation and start to wonder if something more is going on and that maybe they should actually try to be nicer to you. The indirect way doesn't work with really dominant types though who think they can take advantage of you. Then you just have to stand up for yourself and promptly cut off anything inappropriate.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i am doomed to be "cute" too. and carded. lol. i always feel like i have to prove myself to others. i guess though we have some advantages, don't we? it's gonna be great for the rest of our lives to be seen as younger than we are. being "cute" means people generally like us and trust us. they see us as kind, which is a good thing in a lot of situations.

    other than that i am looking forward to more tips from others.

  10. #10
    Probably Most Brilliant Craft's Avatar
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    Being ISFJ, shouldn't you have that natural tendency to appear strong and confident? My ISFJ sister is pretty scary and dominant. She's adjustable too though so it makes her a bit paradoxical.

    Still, I'd say just strengthen some parts of your already "aggressive" nature.

    Unless.....*gasp*...your not an ISFJ!! ...would you like some p-ea?

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