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Thread: Ill ISFJ

  1. #1
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Unhappy Ill ISFJ

    I have an ISFJ colleague who recently lost her mother to a long battle with breast cancer. She herself suffers from Crohn's disease and other milder diseases. She passes out every now and then. She told me a bit about Crohn's disease and said it is an auto-immune illness that is probably stress-related (it gets worse when she is stressed out). I asked her today if the fact that she was so ill wasn't related to her mother's long suffering and death, but she told me she has been sickly since she was 5 (she is 19 now). She admitted illness is her way to respond to emotional pain. She keeps it in and gets sick. I asked if she had been to see a psychotherapist and said she had, but didn't want to speak to him, because she didn't want to open up to a stranger.
    I said I could relate to a lot of what she felt and offered an open ear if she needed to talk or needed any kind of help I could provide. She seems to feel comfortable speaking to me about these things and always offers me a ride home after work.
    I really wish I could help her, she's a very sweet girl.

    Is this common among ISFJs?

  2. #2
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    No.

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    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    It is called Crohn's disease. And there is some evidence that it can be linked to stress. Someone in my life has suffered from this disease for decades. I don't mean to scare you, but from what I understand most deaths from Crohn's disease are not related to the ailment, but in fact to suicide. It can be extremely painful and humiliating. There are all kinds of side effects and consequences to the treatments, too. I do have a friend of a friend, also, who has Crohn's, but does not suffer so much as she has found a way to control her particular case with a diet regime.

    I don't know that ISFJs are susceptible to Crohn's particularly. But I do have a dear ISFJ in my life, who manifests stress in physical ailments. I do not mean she is a hypochondriac. I mean she literally gets ill when she is under extreme stress (shingles, sinus infections, migraines, you name it). If your ISFJ friend is like mine, then I can just suggest noticing and being appreciative of her. Not in a cloying or pitiful way, of course. But in a natural way. My ISFJ really likes to be appreciated - even if its not by the beneficiary of her efforts, just someone who notices. In time she may warm up to sharing more.

    I hope your ISFJ will shop around for a psychiatrist who she feels comfortable with. There are pain clinics, too. My Crohn's sufferer (who suffers further from side effects of botched treatment) said that going to the pain clinics gave him some perspective, which made him appreciate his own situation more.

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    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    No.
    By the way, I didn't mean Crohn's disease in particular, but my colleague's attitude with what she is going through. I thought perhaps you could explain a bit what is going on there...

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    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    By the way, I didn't mean Crohn's disease in particular, but my colleague's attitude with what she is going through. I thought perhaps you could explain a bit what is going on there...
    Well perhaps she does keep things in and get sick because of it. If she develops respect for you and finds you helpful, not in a condescending way, you could talk her into seeing a psychologist.

  6. #6
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    It is called Crohn's disease. And there is some evidence that it can be linked to stress. Someone in my life has suffered from this disease for decades. I don't mean to scare you, but from what I understand most deaths from Crohn's disease are not related to the ailment, but in fact to suicide. It can be extremely painful and humiliating. There are all kinds of side effects and consequences to the treatments, too. I do have a friend of a friend, also, who has Crohn's, but does not suffer so much as she has found a way to control her particular case with a diet regime.

    I don't know that ISFJs are susceptible to Crohn's particularly. But I do have a dear ISFJ in my life, who manifests stress in physical ailments. I do not mean she is a hypochondriac. I mean she literally gets ill when she is under extreme stress (shingles, sinus infections, migraines, you name it). If your ISFJ friend is like mine, then I can just suggest noticing and being appreciative of her. Not in a cloying or pitiful way, of course. But in a natural way. My ISFJ really likes to be appreciated - even if its not by the beneficiary of her efforts, just someone who notices. In time she may warm up to sharing more.

    I hope your ISFJ will shop around for a psychiatrist who she feels comfortable with. There are pain clinics, too. My Crohn's sufferer (who suffers further from side effects of botched treatment) said that going to the pain clinics gave him some perspective, which made him appreciate his own situation more.

    Your concern is noble, KLessard
    +1 to all of this.

    Stress can cause me stomach & anxiety problems. I don't know if this is because I've always internalized all of my problems or if it's something else...but..yeah, I can relate to your friend somewhat.

    If it makes you feel any better, Crohn's Disease isn't something someone can control having and as such there really isn't anything she did or didn't do that caused her to get it. My friends wife (an ENFP) has Crohn's and it's rough. She has to take a cocktail of meds to keep her symptoms under control and suffers still all kinds of ailments. She's quite fortunate to have married my ISTJ friend, he's doggedly loyal and caring to her

    As Vasilisa said, showing your friend acknowledgment and appreciation is a good first step. ISFJs have a very strong desire to feel useful, valuable, and wanted. As such, if you go out of your way to show her how fortunate you are to have her around it will go a long ways with her and in time she's open up enough to you that you can get her to seek professional help on trying to find better ways of dealing with stress.

    Best of luck! She's lucky to have a friend like you who cares about her well-being as much
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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