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[ESFJ] ESFJ Hate Thread

Stigmata

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Are there any full-fledged ESFJ's that even post here? Do ESFJ's even use the internet? Where do they find the time between their busy, diligent worker bee hollow shell of an existence. You know, when they're not baking, organzing, and actively exercising extreme prejudice against any aspect of society that could be considered counter-cultural or that would upset the delicate status quo.
 

skylights

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1. They' re terribly closed - minded and only believe in everything generally accepted by society. They never question these norms, and just blindly follow them without having a cool head on their neck. [...]

I am sorry that you have felt frustrated with ESFJs, but your first bullet here is really not at all true of ESFJs; I know from personal experience. I know three ESFJs closely who are not like this. It's ironically fairly closed-minded and superficial to believe that all ESFJs are like this, if you really do. I hope you will reconsider.

First, when I just wake up, she is already in my room smiling as if she has won a lottery and saying " How are you? "

:laugh: My ISTJ grandma does this. It makes me feel infringed upon even though she's adorable. I think maybe it's just a grandma thing.
 

Nicki

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Sadly all of the above is subject to opinion. My interpretations of "super fab" are usually "over-hyped" and/or "not my cup of tea."

I personally would want a suitably wise and level headed TP or TJ to run the world over an FJ.

Wrong
 

Azure Flame

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Are there any full-fledged ESFJ's that even post here? Do ESFJ's even use the internet? Where do they find the time between their busy, diligent worker bee hollow shell of an existence. You know, when they're not baking, organzing, and actively exercising extreme prejudice against any aspect of society that could be considered counter-cultural or that would upset the delicate status quo.

They're all at church
 

Elaine

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I am sorry that you have felt frustrated with ESFJs, but your first bullet here is really not at all true of ESFJs; I know from personal experience. I know three ESFJs closely who are not like this. It's ironically fairly closed-minded and superficial to believe that all ESFJs are like this, if you really do. I hope you will reconsider.



:laugh: My ISTJ grandma does this. It makes me feel infringed upon even though she's adorable. I think maybe it's just a grandma thing.
Well, what I' m writing are my observations. Again, maybe not all ESFJ are like that. Just these are my observations.

Could you please give an explanation?
 
W

WALMART

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I remember when I first started MBTI, thinking about this lady I HATED. I came to a conclusion: ESFJ.

Now I think back, she's probably Ne/Fe. Why is ESFJ so easy to apply to unsavory individuals?
 

hjgbujhghg

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I had one classmate at the highschool... None really liked her, but she was so self confidant and manipulating, that she just created a sense of a being an "elite" and somehow it wokred out for her. She made a group of a few girls, all a bit shy inidividuals and one can just saw how terrible she was manipulating with them. She named herself to be a representative of our class, she did most of the school/class related works and all the teachers loved her. She fooled all of them. At the end, when we disagree with her in some way, she just had this huge support from teacher, so the rest of the class could just silently listen to her. She was etremly bossy and manipulative person. I'd say she became a "Hitler" in our class.
 

Haven

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I had one classmate at the highschool... None really liked her, but she was so self confidant and manipulating, that she just created a sense of a being an "elite" and somehow it wokred out for her. She made a group of a few girls, all a bit shy inidividuals and one can just saw how terrible she was manipulating with them. She named herself to be a representative of our class, she did most of the school/class related works and all the teachers loved her. She fooled all of them. At the end, when we disagree with her in some way, she just had this huge support from teacher, so the rest of the class could just silently listen to her. She was etremly bossy and manipulative person. I'd say she became a "Hitler" in our class.

I'm pretty sure that's how Hitler came to power too. No really, did she invade Poland and send the undesirables off to concentration camps? Did anyone die because of her feverish demonisation of those she didn't like to thunderous applause?

Anyway, she doesn't seem like ESFJ in the way you described her, especially in appearing "elite" and "fooling everyone" (how exactly?). ESFJs are manipulative caregivers, not manipulative overachievers--that's ENFJ territory.

I'm interested in hearing what is going on to make people attribute such horrible things to ESFJs. Must be the curse of the absentee--the least represented type just happens to be the one ragged on the most.
 

Elfboy

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Honest and direct which is misinterpreted as rude/critical
??? most ESFJs are not direct at all. Fe is like the least direct function on the planet (that an Ni. NFJs probably take the cake for least direct)

Angry issues .. But that's just momentarily ;)
agreed

Just as with the rest of the types .. We have a lot of love to give.
you have too much love to give. that's the problem
 

skylights

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I had one classmate at the highschool... None really liked her, but she was so self confidant and manipulating, that she just created a sense of a being an "elite" and somehow it wokred out for her. She made a group of a few girls, all a bit shy inidividuals and one can just saw how terrible she was manipulating with them. She named herself to be a representative of our class, she did most of the school/class related works and all the teachers loved her. She fooled all of them. At the end, when we disagree with her in some way, she just had this huge support from teacher, so the rest of the class could just silently listen to her. She was etremly bossy and manipulative person. I'd say she became a "Hitler" in our class.

she doesn't seem like ESFJ in the way you described her, especially in appearing "elite" and "fooling everyone" (how exactly?). ESFJs are manipulative caregivers, not manipulative overachievers--that's ENFJ territory.

This was my immediate thought, too, upon reading this. It sounds like ENFJ 3w4 territory, not ESFJ.

[MENTION=13646]Haven[/MENTION] I agree that ESFJ "hate" probably has a lot to do with few ESFJs here to explain and defend behavior. It's easy to make a scapegoat of the person who is not visibly able to show hurt or stand up for themselves.

I also suspect many people who retreat to the internet - probably often INxx - are those who have felt victimized in the past by people that seem to fulfill ESFJ stereotype - those who stereotypically are outspoken, decisive, and interpersonally skilled. Even if that is true, though, it is cruel and ironic to turn the tables and become the bully in retribution for having been bullied - an it would be beneficial to keep in mind that ESFJs dd not chiose their type any more so than anyone else. That, plus how often do we all mistype others based on misunderstanding?

I feel like it's a pretty important step in typology comprehension to get past "XXXXs are horrible" to separating tendencies and individuals, as well as not using type as a scapegoat for interpersonal conflict.

IMO "so-and-so is XXXX" is never a valid reason to dislike someone.
 

Cellmold

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But you could create your own ideals.
Everyone is an individual, and you can never know how the other one' s head works, that' s why you can never know what is bset for another.
Society norms are created by people as imperfect as you and I, and the only reason they are widely spread, because your type and others of your likeness think the majority is always right, and at the same time they are the majority. You are more videly spread, you' re about 9 - 13%, while we ar just 2 - 4% of overall population. Of course your kind of thinking will be more videly spread.

As for the post, I know I might' ve sounded somewhat rude, I don' t really hate ESFJ, just there are some traits that really piss me off about them. Please, just don' t try to shape us NTs like you do. You have your school, we have ours. Don' t try to sway us to your school. Because our is small enough. We also need to preserve ourselves.
P. S. Why does everyone says I should hate fours? They' re not my fave type, but they' re okay IMO. I know sometimes they might seem a little bit weird, but we all have the right to be like that. Like I said, we choose what we believe in. Also, my ENFP friend I mentioned is most likely to be a four.

I was joking. I actually understand the frustrations of living in a world trapped in assumptions of correctness.

Reality is a temporary existence and it is always changing.
 

Azure Flame

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last esfj I lived with smashed a picture of her boyfriend and squeezed a juicebox on me. :(

dey r meen
 

Cellmold

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Are there any full-fledged ESFJ's that even post here? Do ESFJ's even use the internet? Where do they find the time between their busy, diligent worker bee hollow shell of an existence. You know, when they're not baking, organzing, and actively exercising extreme prejudice against any aspect of society that could be considered counter-cultural or that would upset the delicate status quo.

*clears throat*

Ahem. While taking a weeks holiday from my jobs I am here in Greece late at night posting on here.

Mind you that does somewhat break my status quo of normality, better burn this cheap android tablet where it lies. :D
 

Standuble

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*clears throat*

Ahem. While taking a weeks holiday from my jobs I am here in Greece late at night posting on here.

Mind you that does somewhat break my status quo of normality, better burn this cheap android tablet where it lies. :D

Lol, you're the sole defender of fort ESFJ. You do well when outlasting sieges or surviving skirmishes. If I was the only one left to defend my type I think I would go nuts and just run in there mindlessly swinging my sword until someone cuts me through.

How is the situation in Greece? You haven't had anyone try and nick your stuff have you?
 

thoughtlost

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You know what I don't get... since the Fe-dom is supposed to collect, so to speak, information from others since they don't trust their own internal logic... then I don't know why they are not Typology Central as often as the rest of us? Either they seek affirmation from a different source, or they are on here and just shy (since it would mean that they are using their inferior function).
 
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