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Thread: ESFJ Hate Thread

  1. #231
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Array Cellmold's Avatar
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    Mar 2012


    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    @AffirmativeAnxiety - Your ant comment (even if made in jest) echoes the criticisms others in this thread have made about ESFJs - it smells of black-and-white "you're wrong and I'm right" and that others who don't agree should be brought into line or punished
    (see pack mentality and/or controlling behaviour). Here I was thinking you were atypical as well. A pity.
    Ah well, see I just bury it down because I am aware of how I am. But it doesn't stop it being who I am, just hides it. It's why I am both relentlessly self deprecatory and underneath a complete monster.

    Put it this way:

    I know I should let people be as they are, because life is a clusterfuck mess of complex variations and there are innumerable perspectives to consider.

    I know that being forceful, close minded and arrogant are not positive traits and only beget the same.

    I know that compassion and consideration are incredibly important traits to possess and understand, in order to see the perspective of others. Rather than just superficial nice-ness because I think it is expected of me.

    I know that there aren't actually any real 'shoulds' in this world, just shadows of obligation we believe are real.

    I know all of these things.

    But deep I believe them?

    I'm not so sure. And even as I am aware of my failings in those areas, I am also aware of a lifetime of trying to change who I am in order to NOT become those things, but it's only made me unhappy.

    Perhaps I have to ride with it?
    Why should it be that cruelty, manipulation and close-mindedness bring me pleasure? Why is that a natural state?

    I don't know, but in my case I know it to be my true face. And I spend all of my energy fighting it.

    But I am starting to give in. Imagine you are a machine gun, being used to chop wood. That's what it feels like.
    And knowing that I am naturally a cunt and a weapon for destruction, not creation, is a damnation.

    It's not even intended on purpose and nor do I justify it, it just slips out in the moment and only in retrospect do I catch it.

    And sometimes in that moment I also catch a glimpse of myself through another's perspective and I despise what I see. Constantly having to look over your own shoulder in order to catch what you are saying or's a fucking nightmare.

    And that...thing I see is the true me, the true self. The person that people know on here.....that's the real lie.

    I'm on guard...not for social convention, but against myself. I suspect I am losing as well...either way.

    In Gifts Different it is mentioned that judgement is always better directed towards the impersonal and inhuman world and perception towards the personal and people.

    Then why does Fe, even as a mere concept of a pattern, even fucking exist? The ONLY positive for the function is that it is necessary to set out social boundaries, because Fe requires those boundaries and people with Fe exist. So if Fe didn't exist in people it wouldn't even be necessary and I as a person wouldn't need to exist.
    "An upsidedown wire heart
    Being sucked into a periscope
    Still the mind is dull
    Like you need another excuse"

    … a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
    at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
    .. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
    different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
    domain in which it is clear and adequate….
    - David Bohm

  2. #232
    Senior Member Array
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    Feb 2014


    If an xNTJ does exactly what he wants according to his own internal worldview, he is praised for being "determined" and "tough-minded."

    If an SJ does this, he is accused of being "outdated," "rigid," "narrow-minded."

    If an INFJ reads your face and comes to a plethora of conclusions as to how your mind works, he's an ingenious hero of mankind.

    If an ESFJ does this, he's a conniving school gossip girl.

    If an ISFP takes every comment you give them and takes it as an insult to himself, he's obviously clinically depressed.

    If an ESFJ does this, he's a piece of dependent scum, isn't he?

    How do you know these people you hate are even ESFJs at all? Because analyzing someone's behavior and using it to type a person based on the letters is Keirsey, not MBTI. When we took a Keirsey test in Career Development, 90% of the class tested as FJ of some sort.

    FJ's aren't supposed to be ubiquitously popular like Sensors supposedly are.
    If you get results like that, the test must be wrong.
    Keirsey is not dependable.
    Only typing based on the cognitive functions is.

    And let's face facts, half the INTPs on the internet are just mistyped ISFPs with a heaping case of butthurt. Some of the things they've said, a Ti-user would never say, much less an introvert.
    Half of you aren't Intuitives, you either happen to have a high IQ or you have special snowflake syndrome and you need to justifying with some magical cognitive function that's no longer even properly defined. Stop turning MBTI into racism.

    In fact, from the descriptions of unhealthy "ESFJs" that I heard, these people aren't normal. ESFJs are 10-or-so% of the population. They're the majority, right?
    So you say the majority of people are controlling emotional nukes?

    These people aren't just ESFJ. They're mentally ill. And if you can sympathize with all your "fellow intuitives" for being "misunderstood," shame on you, you're a huge hypocrite. If they're mentally ill, you should be feeling bad for them.

  3. #233
    under a groove Array Chanaynay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    7w6 sx/so


    Oh god this thread again. IDK why this would ever be a good idea.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so

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