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  1. #1
    Member Caligula's Avatar
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    Default ISFJs: Can you relate?

    Hello everyone!

    I'm pretty sure I'm an ISFJ and I thought this thread would help me figure it out. I've noticed some things about myself that bother people, and I was wondering if any other ISFJs do this too? (Also other types feel free to post your experiences with ISFJs)

    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    Living is never a waste of time.

  2. #2
    Senior Member DJAchtundvierzig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    Hello everyone!

    I'm pretty sure I'm an ISFJ and I thought this thread would help me figure it out. I've noticed some things about myself that bother people, and I was wondering if any other ISFJs do this too? (Also other types feel free to post your experiences with ISFJs)

    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    I've known ISFJs to be quite suspicious actually. I'm not sure if this is nesecarily an S trait as much as an F trait. Fs are often gullible. But I have to admit, I am not. If your an INFJ your probably an INTJ, ISFJ and INFP all mixed together, and not gullible.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    First of all, I am extremely gullible.
    I'd rather put it down to being too trusting, giving everyone a fair shake and taking them at their word...so gullible certainly has fit me more times than I'd like to think.

    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    I will sometimes think someone is lying to me who is not...inconvenient.

    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    ...when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.?
    If I speak to them again...it is with some reservation...

    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.?
    Yeah, it reflects upon our judgement...and how are trust is devalued by someone we esteem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...?
    Yes. especially when I was younger I took pride in the fact that I retained every wrong done to me....as I matured I found this a waste of my energy. When you put yourself "out there" you run the risk of misuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    Become much more cynical? Yeah that's fun to be around. Having an open trusting nature can lead to some great experiences too. Don't let a few bad interactions keep you from welcoming good ones. Until you find a way to control the motivations of everyone you interact with try to indentify the types of people that have your best long term interests at heart.
    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

  4. #4
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    As an ESFJ i can be gullible/neive sometimes .. I trust people too much and sometimes get taken advantage of .. I'm the same when it comes to loyalty and even if they've broken that trust, i still try and see the good in them for they are dealing with their own issues .. It's a tricky one.

    I used to be vengeful in the past if i'd been slighted but now days i let it roll as being vengeful depletes my energy reserves .. I believe in karma instead

    How do you get past it? For me age, wisdom and a lot of life experience has got me to where i am today. Good luck in your quest
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #5
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    Hello everyone!

    I'm pretty sure I'm an ISFJ and I thought this thread would help me figure it out. I've noticed some things about myself that bother people, and I was wondering if any other ISFJs do this too? (Also other types feel free to post your experiences with ISFJs)

    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    I know that I can be very trusting, but I'm usually very suspicious and cautious at first if they are a stranger. If I do trust them and they cross me, then I actually RARELY confront them about it. Usually I'll just avoid them and refuse to have anything further to do with them and quietly rummage over it every now and then (which, yes I know, is not the best way to handle it).

    I've rarely done anything vengeful though as I often just want to forget it ever happened and move on
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  6. #6
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    Hello everyone!

    I'm pretty sure I'm an ISFJ and I thought this thread would help me figure it out. I've noticed some things about myself that bother people, and I was wondering if any other ISFJs do this too? (Also other types feel free to post your experiences with ISFJs)

    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    Sounds like xSFJ to me.

    You're probably not gullible, more that you are a trusting person and expect that others in your life are the same way.

    But you sound like a friend of mines who is ISFJ.

  7. #7
    Member Cheshire Grin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    I can relate to the gullibility part. I'm also very bad at picking up on hidden agendas or lies even when it's supposedly very "obvious." Strangely, this isn't the case when I'm the observer in a situation but only happens when I'm directly involved. It probably has something to do with the fact that I don't like to jump to conclusions so sometimes I just don't speculate at all.

    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    As for lying...for some reason, compulsive liars irritate me more than people who lie because they want to protect people they care about or protect themselves. For me it's kind of like, why did you even need to lie about that when a truthful answer wouldn't have made any difference anyway?! If it's a lie that was targeted specifically at me and had malicious intent, then yeah, you're really going to get it :P.

    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...
    I have quite a good memory too (unfortunately this does not extend to academic work) but I remember good things as well as bad.

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    I've read that ISFJs tend to be trusting and I've seen some posts floating around about ISFJs that carry out acts of vengeance. I can't personally relate to the revenge part because if somebody has rubbed me the wrong way up to the extent where I'm incredibly mad I usually just
    1 - let them know, or
    2 - have nothing to do with them anymore
    By default I don't expect people to be nice (not really out of suspicion but more out of non-expectation) so if somebody betrays my confidence I will get somewhat irritated but it's not the end of the world.

    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    Perhaps just remember that whatever slights you've experienced in the past are in the past. People will just be how they are and being angry or vengeful will not fix or reverse the situation. Look forward instead of back
    The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. --A. Rand

  8. #8
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    Hello everyone!

    I'm pretty sure I'm an ISFJ and I thought this thread would help me figure it out. I've noticed some things about myself that bother people, and I was wondering if any other ISFJs do this too? (Also other types feel free to post your experiences with ISFJs)

    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    I relate to all of this except the vengeful part. I can hold a grudge for a while if I feel like I've really been done wrong, but I see no point in being vengeful or going to great lengths to get revenge. that said, I do value justice and balance and gravitate towards it.

  9. #9
    Member Caligula's Avatar
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    I think vengeful was the wrong word to use. Outside of that, you've all been very helpful and I really appreciate it.
    Living is never a waste of time.

  10. #10
    All Natural! All Good!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caligula View Post
    First of all, I am extremely gullible. I never think someone is lying to me, even if it's obvious that they are.
    I can tell when others are lying most of the time, but I think most people are terrible liars. They contradict themselves, sweat, blink too much, almost wet themselves. It's funny.

    However, when I find out that someone has lied to me, I get very upset and I'm sure to let them know. (I'm only talking about major lies, not silly ones.) I never forget about it and I sometimes even bring it up again with the person and let them know how much it bothered me.
    I forget. I also don't know if I dreamt it or it was real. That said, I get angry and exact revenge before forgetting.

    The same goes for loyalty. I am extremely loyal to others but when they let me down I can't let go of how much it hurt me.
    Also, I have an excellent memory for the past, which makes this that much worse...

    Is it common for ISFJs to be more trusting and yet more vengeful after someone has betrayed that trust?
    If anyone has experience with this, do you have any advice for me?
    My memory sucks, which seems un-Si/SJ, but anyways. Sorry for your experience, I don't have advice unfortunately.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
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