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  1. #31
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I like this thread. I agree with most of the advice here.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    My sister is an ESFJ and I know a thing or two about ESFJ's in general. Enough to know that ESFJ's, although they sometimes seem rather emotionally invincible and tough, they have to be handled with a certain care.
    You are not supposed to be able to read my soul darling .. But yeah pretty much spot on.

    Once i trust you, the emotional side slowly comes through .. And once you have it, it's yours pretty much forever.

    Ohhhhh, that does sound gooey


    Ease her into you, don't go all INTP style on her right away! If you get her on your bad side by being too reckless early on, it won't be easy to get yourself back on her good side. They love to argue about things, but when it's about something dear to her, you have to be careful. Being on neutral grounds is advisable for short term, but I personally would say it's not a bad thing to show your worth once in a while too, as long as you do so tactfully and in a way she can understand your viewpoint. Which won't be easy.

    Also, good luck trying to keep your pants on if it comes to a relationship. ESFJ's can be very bossy.
    I can't take myself serious sometimes so struggle to take others also .. I love a good heated debate where the end result is us doing a then a :yim_rolling_on_the_ When i am being serious though and want a serious talk, the worst thing ever to do is laugh in my face .. I have to vacate quickly or i'm like a bull to a rag

    I am not bossy .. I'm assertive, lol
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #33
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    Is this really the way to go with an ESFJ?

    Hahaha, I think I just could not resist talking about sex, politics and religion...

    My guess is I won't be dating many of them. xD

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Once i trust you, the emotional side slowly comes through .. And once you have it, it's yours pretty much forever.

    Ohhhhh, that does sound gooey
    I can't take myself serious sometimes so struggle to take others also .. I love a good heated debate where the end result is us doing a then a :yim_rolling_on_the_ When i am being serious though and want a serious talk, the worst thing ever to do is laugh in my face .. I have to vacate quickly or i'm like a bull to a rag
    Our date is coming up in a few weeks!(She was out of town)

    I hope all this advice doesn't lead me the wrong way. It shouldn't. I just don't know how to get her to trust me, but i can wait on that. I will definitely avoid laughing in her face. I don't want to get mauled! My problem the last time we got food together was that I kept spacing out! Literally, I would run out of things to say and stare off for a few seconds. Awkward! She did try to teach me to use chopsticks though, and we had a few of those laughs where your face muscles hurt afterwards!

    Oh it was so cute too the other day (cute for INTPs, but she was serious). She asked me why there is war, and I told her some disputes can't be settled with words. As I was saying it, I got more attracted to her. That was my first attempt at "proving my worth" as an INTP. She didn't give me a "WTF" look afterwards, so I hope it went over well.

  5. #35
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Dude, just be respectful and *apparently* just be yourself because she accepted going on a date with you with any back bends or contortions. Good news - you can just be yourself! Don't overthink it.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Dude, just be respectful and *apparently* just be yourself because she accepted going on a date with you with any back bends or contortions. Good news - you can just be yourself! Don't overthink it.
    My friend, I was actually under-thinking it, but I see where your coming from.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quamdel View Post
    Our date is coming up in a few weeks!(She was out of town)

    I hope all this advice doesn't lead me the wrong way. It shouldn't. I just don't know how to get her to trust me, but i can wait on that. I will definitely avoid laughing in her face. I don't want to get mauled! My problem the last time we got food together was that I kept spacing out! Literally, I would run out of things to say and stare off for a few seconds. Awkward! She did try to teach me to use chopsticks though, and we had a few of those laughs where your face muscles hurt afterwards!

    Oh it was so cute too the other day (cute for INTPs, but she was serious). She asked me why there is war, and I told her some disputes can't be settled with words. As I was saying it, I got more attracted to her. That was my first attempt at "proving my worth" as an INTP. She didn't give me a "WTF" look afterwards, so I hope it went over well.
    .. Awwww .. She'll trust you in time and you seem a really nice guy .. I don't know about the other ESFJ's on here but i try to hold my emotions back but i think it may be true in all of us in that we wear our hearts on our sleeves .. Laughing is a good sign

    I am glad though you didn't perceive her 'Why is there war?' as a silly question .. We are not stupid be any means but i personally enjoy asking why questions so i can see how the other person answers them (curious by nature) ..

    Well it's early days but i do hope it continues to be a barrel of laughs for you .. Enjoy it for what it is
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #38
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrScar View Post
    Is this really the way to go with an ESFJ?

    Hahaha, I think I just could not resist talking about sex, politics and religion...

    My guess is I won't be dating many of them. xD
    I don't mind talking about sex, politics or religion.... Just not on the first date.


  9. #39
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    I don't mind talking about sex, politics or religion.... Just not on the first date.
    Nor during sex

    But second date is fine by me
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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