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[ISFJ] ISFJs and space

ItsAGuy

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
146
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
How much of it do you guys tend to need? Under what conditions do you tend to want it? How do the rest of us know when you need it and when you don't anymore? =)

I'm sure this has been asked before.
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How much of it do you guys tend to need?

Generally speaking, it depends on how much time I get to spend with my SO. Since I invest a great deal of myself into tending to/thinking about/dotting on her, I'm usually never away from her for any long period of time unless she tells me that she needs space, at which case I'll disappear.

Otherwise, it can be anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Usually never more than an hour though.

Under what conditions do you tend to want it?

Interacting with people ALL DAY is what usually does it for me. I love being around people, but they wear me out and I'll need to recharge. Something I love to do is just cuddling up on the couch and quietly watching a movie together as that allows me some quiet time but I also get to be in her company, which something I always find pleasurable :wubbie:

The exception to this is if something is REALLY bothering me and I haven't figured out how to express or articulate it. It's one of the frustrating aspects of us ISxJs I think that until we figure out and deal with a problem that's seriously bothering us, we'll internalize it and it may take us *DAYS* before we open up about it.

Just be patient and gentle with us during that period :hug:

How do the rest of us know when you need it and when you don't anymore? =)

I'm sure this has been asked before.

If I need space I'll usually say something along the lines of "Can we just chill out for a bit? I'm really drained" which is my way of telling you that I need space but that I don't mind you being around me.

If however it's very serious and I want EVERYONE to leave me alone, I'll say something like, "Do you mind if I go to and/or do [X]? I'll be OK, I just need to be alone right". This usually prompts some kind of line of questioning asking me what's wrong and all of that. What I tell you depends on how hard you push. If you're patient with me, I'll eventually open up. If you're of a personality like my beloved ESTPs :)wubbie:) who have a very low tolerance for this kind of crap, you'll probably give me some tough love until I do open up. Just be aware that doing this is probably going to prompt a very emotional response from me so you better be prepared for that.

Once I'm ready for you though, you'll know it because I'll come looking for you and asking you how things are going, how you're doing, that kind of thing. That's my attempt at re-establishing communication.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
Aww, I thought this was going to be a discussion on astronomy.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I would just say that I have to go off and do X-Y-Z.
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
How much of it do you guys tend to need? Under what conditions do you tend to want it? How do the rest of us know when you need it and when you don't anymore? =)

I'm sure this has been asked before.

After a week or so of being in my apartment, I can usually interact for a few hours, but I'll have to sleep for like 14 hours that night.

Under all conditions :)

When I tell you to f*ck off (politely, of course) it means I need space :) as for when I'm ready to interact again, well, I'm never ready. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way.
 

ItsAGuy

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
146
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
After a week or so of being in my apartment, I can usually interact for a few hours, but I'll have to sleep for like 14 hours that night.

Under all conditions :)

When I tell you to f*ck off (politely, of course) it means I need space :) as for when I'm ready to interact again, well, I'm never ready. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way.

Sounds kinda miserable, actually. =(
 

ehastin1

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
33
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I don't need that much space. I live with 3 other guys and there are people over my house constantly so there is not much of a choice lol. For example I was in class from 8 to 330 yesterday and went from work from 4 to 9 30....after being out and about all day interacting and being busy the first thing i wanted to do is get home and be by myself but when i get back theres tons of people over! that can get annoying, but i just go "whatever" and enjoy my time with them.

anything can be alone time for me. driving in the car alone is my alone time for instance and its also nice to do
 
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