Generally speaking, it depends on how much time I get to spend with my SO. Since I invest a great deal of myself into tending to/thinking about/dotting on her, I'm usually never away from her for any long period of time unless she tells me that she needs space, at which case I'll disappear.
Otherwise, it can be anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Usually never more than an hour though.
Originally Posted by ItsAGuy
Under what conditions do you tend to want it?
Interacting with people ALL DAY is what usually does it for me. I love being around people, but they wear me out and I'll need to recharge. Something I love to do is just cuddling up on the couch and quietly watching a movie together as that allows me some quiet time but I also get to be in her company, which something I always find pleasurable
The exception to this is if something is REALLY bothering me and I haven't figured out how to express or articulate it. It's one of the frustrating aspects of us ISxJs I think that until we figure out and deal with a problem that's seriously bothering us, we'll internalize it and it may take us *DAYS* before we open up about it.
Just be patient and gentle with us during that period
Originally Posted by ItsAGuy
How do the rest of us know when you need it and when you don't anymore? =)
I'm sure this has been asked before.
If I need space I'll usually say something along the lines of "Can we just chill out for a bit? I'm really drained" which is my way of telling you that I need space but that I don't mind you being around me.
If however it's very serious and I want EVERYONE to leave me alone, I'll say something like, "Do you mind if I go to and/or do [X]? I'll be OK, I just need to be alone right". This usually prompts some kind of line of questioning asking me what's wrong and all of that. What I tell you depends on how hard you push. If you're patient with me, I'll eventually open up. If you're of a personality like my beloved ESTPs () who have a very low tolerance for this kind of crap, you'll probably give me some tough love until I do open up. Just be aware that doing this is probably going to prompt a very emotional response from me so you better be prepared for that.
Once I'm ready for you though, you'll know it because I'll come looking for you and asking you how things are going, how you're doing, that kind of thing. That's my attempt at re-establishing communication.
"There is no such thing as spare time, no such thing as down time, no such thing as free time, there is only life time. Go."
― Henry Rollins
“I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
― Georgia O'Keeffe
I don't need that much space. I live with 3 other guys and there are people over my house constantly so there is not much of a choice lol. For example I was in class from 8 to 330 yesterday and went from work from 4 to 9 30....after being out and about all day interacting and being busy the first thing i wanted to do is get home and be by myself but when i get back theres tons of people over! that can get annoying, but i just go "whatever" and enjoy my time with them.
anything can be alone time for me. driving in the car alone is my alone time for instance and its also nice to do