User Tag List

12311 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 197

  1. #1
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    691

    Default Are All ESFJs Like This?

    So, now I end up working with this fat ESFJ girl, and she is so annoying. She basically goes up to anyone and starts talking about simple, boring, everyday stuff like her roomate stealing her toilet paper and how she likes to eat cake.

    She's always quick to come up with stupid judgements (notice the SJ) about me. She'll ask me to do stuff because she's too lazy to do it herself, and if I don't oblige, she says stuff like I'm mean. Maybe she's right when she says I'm rude, but I'm an INTP. DEAL WITH IT! If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.

    My ENTP friend and I discussed how ESFJs have this way of trying to manipulate people with their stupid judgements, but how it doesn't work with us. Personally, when ESFJ girl says I'm mean, I just stand there thinking, "You're an idiot."

    I know better than to tell her anything personal or meaningful because after two or three days, everyone in the whole damn store is gonna know about it. So pretty much I just stand there and mirror her level of interaction, by saying no more than boring everyday crap. Of course, sometimes we need to talk about work related stuff, so that works out okay.

    Yesterday, she asked me for a ride home later and my automatic response was NO. Then she said something about not giving a "friend" a ride home. I almost told her, "You're not my friend. You're someone who stands in front of me and goes blah blah blah." Really, this girl doesn't know a thing about me. I haven't even mentioned a thing to her about my interest in personality theories.

  2. #2
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    3,619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular View Post
    So, now I end up working with this fat ESFJ girl, and she is so annoying. She basically goes up to anyone and starts talking about simple, boring, everyday stuff like her roomate stealing her toilet paper and how she likes to eat cake.

    She's always quick to come up with stupid judgements (notice the SJ) about me. She'll ask me to do stuff because she's too lazy to do it herself, and if I don't oblige, she says stuff like I'm mean. Maybe she's right when she says I'm rude, but I'm an INTP. DEAL WITH IT! If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.

    My ENTP friend and I discussed how ESFJs have this way of trying to manipulate people with their stupid judgements, but how it doesn't work with us. Personally, when ESFJ girl says I'm mean, I just stand there thinking, "You're an idiot."

    I know better than to tell her anything personal or meaningful because after two or three days, everyone in the whole damn store is gonna know about it. So pretty much I just stand there and mirror her level of interaction, by saying no more than boring everyday crap. Of course, sometimes we need to talk about work related stuff, so that works out okay.

    Yesterday, she asked me for a ride home later and my automatic response was NO. Then she said something about not giving a "friend" a ride home. I almost told her, "You're not my friend. You're someone who stands in front of me and goes blah blah blah." Really, this girl doesn't know a thing about me. I haven't even mentioned a thing to her about my interest in personality theories.
    A sound course of action.

    Your life does not revolve around her life.

  3. #3
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular View Post
    So, now I end up working with this fat ESFJ girl, and she is so annoying.
    I wonder why you felt the need to specify that she is fat ?

    Maybe she's right when she says I'm rude, but I'm an INTP. DEAL WITH IT!
    And maybe you're right when you say she's annoying, but she's an ESFJ. DEAL WITH IT TOO!

    If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.
    If you don't want people talking to you, stay at home.

    My ENTP friend and I discussed how ESFJs have this way of trying to manipulate people with their stupid judgements, but how it doesn't work with us. Personally, when ESFJ girl says I'm mean, I just stand there thinking, "You're an idiot."
    Anyone else notice the blatant double-standard and hypocrisy in that paragraph?

    Yesterday, she asked me for a ride home later and my automatic response was NO. Then she said something about not giving a "friend" a ride home. I almost told her, "You're not my friend. You're someone who stands in front of me and goes blah blah blah."
    Why almost? Afraid to stand up for your opinions?

    Honestly, how much self-centered can you be ?

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    istp
    Posts
    68

    Default

    Them ESFJ's are quite a talkative bunch, damn attractive too some of them.

  5. #5
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Maybe this thread would be more appropriate at INTPc. You'll get all the loving sympathy you could ever need.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #6
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular View Post
    So, now I end up working with this fat ESFJ girl, and she is so annoying. She basically goes up to anyone and starts talking about simple, boring, everyday stuff like her roomate stealing her toilet paper and how she likes to eat cake.

    She's always quick to come up with stupid judgements (notice the SJ) about me. She'll ask me to do stuff because she's too lazy to do it herself, and if I don't oblige, she says stuff like I'm mean. Maybe she's right when she says I'm rude, but I'm an INTP. DEAL WITH IT! If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.

    My ENTP friend and I discussed how ESFJs have this way of trying to manipulate people with their stupid judgements, but how it doesn't work with us. Personally, when ESFJ girl says I'm mean, I just stand there thinking, "You're an idiot."

    I know better than to tell her anything personal or meaningful because after two or three days, everyone in the whole damn store is gonna know about it. So pretty much I just stand there and mirror her level of interaction, by saying no more than boring everyday crap. Of course, sometimes we need to talk about work related stuff, so that works out okay.

    Yesterday, she asked me for a ride home later and my automatic response was NO. Then she said something about not giving a "friend" a ride home. I almost told her, "You're not my friend. You're someone who stands in front of me and goes blah blah blah." Really, this girl doesn't know a thing about me. I haven't even mentioned a thing to her about my interest in personality theories.
    That sounds awful, no matter what personality type they are. Sure, all ESFJ's might be inclined to talk about their day in concrete, agonizing detail, but this lady... sounds really unhealthy. Doesn't know when she's disliked, forces people to put up with her meanness while criticizing them for theirs, and other such things.

    I don't think healthy ESFJ's act that way, personally.

  7. #7
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    That sounds awful, no matter what personality type they are. Sure, all ESFJ's might be inclined to talk about their day in concrete, agonizing detail, but this lady... sounds really unhealthy. Doesn't know when she's disliked, forces people to put up with her meanness while criticizing them for theirs, and other such things.

    I don't think healthy ESFJ's act that way, personally.
    All we have is this dude's biased perspective of this woman. To even say that she's unhealthy gives credence to his story. These types of threads annoy the holy hell out of me. And since the person is an ESFJ, everyone's favorite type to hate, that makes it all the more better.

    There are a number of threads here asking for help dealing with different types that come in the attitude of sincerely wanting to understand and work through problems. ImNotTooPopular, you just wanted to start a bitchfest and have people jump on the bandwagon with you. Don't enable this guy.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jive A Turkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTooPopular View Post
    If you want fluff or sensitivity, go talk to some F type.
    Classic!
    For dessert you could have added, "And get out of Louisiana while you're at it, or I'll have another levee broken."

  9. #9
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    691

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    I wonder why you felt the need to specify that she is fat ?

    If you don't want people talking to you, stay at home.
    I mentioned she's fat because I didn't want people to start thinking she was one of those popular, attractive ESFJs.

    I'd like to stay at home, but it doesn't pay. Even INTPs need to eat.

  10. #10
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    691

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    That sounds awful, no matter what personality type they are. Sure, all ESFJ's might be inclined to talk about their day in concrete, agonizing detail, but this lady... sounds really unhealthy. Doesn't know when she's disliked, forces people to put up with her meanness while criticizing them for theirs, and other such things.
    Umm, yes, I would say she's self-unconscious. It's probably her way of dealing with all the rejection she received based on being overweight.

Similar Threads

  1. [ESFJ] ESFJ + IST/FJ: How Do You Know When A ESFJ Likes You?
    By LavenderSoda in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-26-2016, 11:00 AM
  2. [ESFJ] What is an ESFJ like?
    By Little Linguist in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-24-2011, 10:05 PM
  3. There are doors all up in this hoe, FOOL!
    By TopherRed in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-25-2010, 05:25 PM
  4. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-28-2007, 06:40 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO