User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 12

  1. #1
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default advice for cheering up my ESFJ mom?

    hey guys --

    so my mom is the most amazingly kind, thoughtful, upbeat, encouraging, productive person that i know. and her social skills are OFF THE CHARTS.

    but my dad and brother are INTPs, and they like blathering about how smart they are all the time. and they are, which is the most annoying thing about it, but in a very intellectual way. they're kind of socially incompetent and avoidant about a lot of things. and they're very critical, which doesn't help.

    so the problem is, my mom feels like she isn't smart in comparison

    this is the woman who taught me to read when i was four, she is incredible with kids, she manages our entire household and family plans and the bills and cleaning and maintenance, she juggles like 5,000 responsibilities and keeps herself in awesome shape physically and makes way less of a salary than she ought to (she's a special ed teacher). i try to tell her this a lot and how freaking brilliant i think she is, but i'm not sure she really believes me.

    tips please?

  2. #2
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    The problem is that people don't value what she is good at enough so you can start there. Badger your Dad and brother to do the same.

  3. #3
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    The problem is that people don't value what she is good at enough so you can start there. Badger your Dad and brother to do the same.
    lol, good idea. i should bug them about it

    thanks :]

  4. #4
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Posts
    998

    Default

    Let her take some kind of online Emotional Intelligence test, and then ask your dad and brother to do the same. Hopefully, your mother should outclass them by a mile... and then show her studies how emotional intelligence actually matters more when it comes to living a successful life.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,193

    Default

    Make something for her/do something/get something that shows you recognize and appreciate what she does.



  6. #6
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx
    Posts
    1,436

    Default

    I go through the same stuff sometimes. What makes me the happiest is when someone acknowledges that I am the kindest person they've ever met and how passionate I am about what I do and I'm good at it. It really just helps to know that someone recognizes my talents and not just how intelligent I may or may not be. Also, let her know that it's people like her that really make a difference. It doesn't take an IQ that is off the charts to make a difference in the life of a child with special needs... It does take someone with a heart and passion though!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Lol .. I have moments where i don't feel smart intellectually but i try not to put too much emphesis on it. Being very modest in the first place, i don't place focus on that aspect and instead, internally know my strengths.

    If someone chooses to focus on one aspect instead of the bigger picture of what can be accomplished when 2 people combine their strenghts .. Then more fool them.

    Words of appreciation are much appreciated though. Lol
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #8
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Let her take some kind of online Emotional Intelligence test, and then ask your dad and brother to do the same. Hopefully, your mother should outclass them by a mile... and then show her studies how emotional intelligence actually matters more when it comes to living a successful life.
    HAHAHA that's such a great idea

    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh
    It really just helps to know that someone recognizes my talents and not just how intelligent I may or may not be.
    i'm such a believer in multiple intelligences too, it really annoys me that "intelligent" and "book smart" are sometimes made out to mean the same thing. book smart can be wonderful but it really is not the be-all-end-all that some people make it out to be!

    anyway thank you so much guys i am going to jump on all of this!!!

  9. #9
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    Let her know there is a point where a person can be too intelligent to be of any Earthly good...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Let her know there is a point where a person can be too intelligent to be of any Earthly good...
    true that. when they're absorbed in nerdiness the entire day

Similar Threads

  1. How can I cheer up my Grandpa?
    By anticlimatic in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-19-2016, 09:37 AM
  2. [ESFJ] For my ESFJs.
    By the resident in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-25-2014, 07:18 PM
  3. [MBTItm] Advice for my relationship with my son
    By vontrapped in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 11-10-2008, 01:21 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO