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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Default is this isfj guy serious?

    okay so heres the deal. i have a huge crush to this girl who's boyfriend is most likely an isfj. i was late on telling her about my feelings(as usual) and i told her about my feelings the next day i heard that they started dating, things(me) got messy for about 10 months and this time i didnt see neither of them(by my choice), but i texted to this girl for some time after that and i later heard that the guy got pretty jealous. the guy left the country for about 2 months and in that time i started hanging out in same group(she is friend of about all of my real friends) again. now the guy is back and doesent want me around, because some time ago before he left the country my friend accidentally invited him to same place that i was going to and i told my friend to tell him not to come or i wont come, so my friend told him that he cant come. he said to this friend of mine that he is pissed off at me because i didnt want him to come there. but the reason that i didnt want him to come was because i didnt want anything to do with this girl back then.

    i dont know what he has told the reason is to this girl, but what he told to my friend sounds like bullshit excuse to me and i bet he is just jealous.

    so my question is that is this guy really that sensitive and retarded or is he just using this as an excuse keeping me away from his girlfriend?

    also if this is an excuse i wonder if he is telling this bullshit to this girl also to control the situation while hide his insecurities. or to make this a valid question, would isfj's hide their insecurities from their SO and try to manipulate situations like this?
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  2. #2
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    IXFJ's are incredibly sensitive. If someone invited me to a party and then uninvited me I'd probably hold a grudge and do something like that. But I don't know if the S and the N makes a big difference

  3. #3
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    IXFJ's are incredibly sensitive. If someone invited me to a party and then uninvited me I'd probably hold a grudge and do something like that. But I don't know if the S and the N makes a big difference
    it wasnt a party, it was this protest parade on one holiday, i wasnt the one who invited him and its nothing personal that i didnt want him there, i just didnt want anything to do with this girl at the time and im pretty sure that she would have came there also.. not to mention that this parade wasnt the only place that he could be at since their(he, she and several of their friends) plans was to celebrate this holiday at one park

    i find this really odd that someone would be so retarded that he would get offended from something like this because the reason i didnt want to see him had nothing to do with him..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  4. #4
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    As ridiculous as it is I would probably hold it against everyone in the group. We're some really emotionally messed up people=/

  5. #5
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    you tried to snatch his gf then "uninvited" him to an event...who wouldn't be pissed off?
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  6. #6
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    He's trying to keep his gf away from you, is smart to do so, and I would do the same thing in his position. Who are you trying to kid here? You want his gf, and you're acting like he's the one who is acting crazy?

  7. #7
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    As ridiculous as it is I would probably hold it against everyone in the group. We're some really emotionally messed up people=/
    well, he has nothing against my friend who invited him

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    you tried to snatch his gf then "uninvited" him to an event...who wouldn't be pissed off?
    i didnt try to snatch her from him other than asking her to coincider me after i told her about my feelings(or well when he was out the country and i saw this girl i was really drunk and stoned and started teasing her by playing with her neclace, but i wasnt trying anything i was just too fucked up to think straight and i found her neclace intriguing, maybe this is the real reason he is so pissed off at me?). i saw him 3 times after that and he didnt seem to have anything against me(he came to chat with me in a party etc). technicly i didnt uninvite him, i just told my mate that im not going if he is and my mate felt that right thing to do was to uninvite him because we planned to go there together and he accidentally invited him.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    He's trying to keep his gf away from you, is smart to do so, and I would do the same thing in his position. Who are you trying to kid here? You want his gf, and you're acting like he's the one who is acting crazy?
    so you think its just an excuse? i think he is acting crazy only if its not an excuse
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    As ridiculous as it is I would probably hold it against everyone in the group. We're some really emotionally messed up people=/
    Is it really emotionally messed up to dislike someone who says something to the effect that they're not coming if you are, then gets you uninvited? Also, the ISFJ guy doesn't know INTPs reasoning, does he? Could just think he's being a douche. Perhaps this is F logic, not just an IxFJ thing. I think Ts can be pretty nasty and selfish sometimes then are just all like "oh why are you butthurt" and it's like

  9. #9
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    i think you're the one who sounds weak. trying to control who goes where and putting your friend in the position of confronting a person he'd previously invited because of feelings you claim not to have?

    the only thing i see wrong with his reaction is that instead of being angry, he should be laughing at you.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Is it really emotionally messed up to dislike someone who says something to the effect that they're not coming if you are, then gets you uninvited? Also, the ISFJ guy doesn't know INTPs reasoning, does he? Could just think he's being a douche. Perhaps this is F logic, not just an IxFJ thing. I think Ts can be pretty nasty and selfish sometimes then are just all like "oh why are you butthurt" and it's like
    when this happened i havent seen him or her for about 9 months and i had made it perfectly clear that i dont want to see neither of them because it was emotionally way too hard for me. and its not an F thing, its an Fe thing because Fi user could set himself to my shoes and understand my feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    i think you're the one who sounds weak. trying to control who goes where and putting your friend in the position of confronting a person he'd previously invited because of feelings you claim not to have?

    the only thing i see wrong with his reaction is that instead of being angry, he should be laughing at you.
    my friend invited him to hang out with me and my friend. i didnt claim not to have these feelings.
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