I'm an INFJ married to a wonderful ISFJ. We're new parents and this is really highlighting our tempermental differences in a way that worries me, but I am sure there are solutions. It's probably not surprising that my parenting style emphasizes attachment, and my partner has a more behaviorist bent. (Example: I'd like to let our son work on his own timetable learning to sleep through the night, securely knowing we are there for him, partner wants to train him through controlled crying, which is the conventional norm in the US, to ensure his independence.) My partner is also moody, including bursts of anger (I really do think there are anger management issues lurking but maybe y'all can help me understand this in a new way), whereas I'm vigilant about preserving a more serene attitude around our son.
Of course I'm full of conviction that my feelings about how best to parent are right, and I read and research constantly. Partner does not wish to do this sort of reading (I can respect that), considers any developmental psych stuff hogwash (this makes me nervous) and prefers to make decisions in the moment and based on what peers appear to be doing.
End of the day, I can't control the moodiness but I do tend to "win" on decisions like sleep-training and discipline -- until my partner just snaps and does something totally contrary. That's devastating for me.
Here is the thing, I don't want to "win" -- I want to persuade. And I also want to really understand and evaluate the other perspective to see whether perhaps I ought to be more flexible on my opinions. (Really.) I want an equal, respectful and loving partnership and I want us to be wonderful parents to our son.