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  1. #11
    Senior Member ArbiterDewey's Avatar
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    Being a male ISTJ, I don't necessarily think we portray "masculinity" over "femininity," more so that we have a more neutral outlook towards everything. We analyze and use logic more often than emotion and spontaneity (not to say our feelings cannot be hurt.) Either way, I don't know any female ISTJ's in rl so I can't really form a solid opinion on such.

    A specific example I have from my therapy is that I'm not emotionally dumb inside. No, I feel emotion, I just don't express it in my language (which I have been consciously working on, although difficult.) Be around an ENFP at any time, and you will hear the emotional language right away: they hate/love/are pissed off at/appreciate/are flattered by/etc. and so forth a lot.

    My outlook on kids is the opposite of some of the above posters. I want them. Preferably a little girl, if I could choose. Might be because I was raised by independent females (mother and grandmother) and had a brother. It might be a personal preference. Either way, I attract children and animals like flies to s***, lol (which I hear is a good thing concerning character.)

    One phrase I really enjoy is "calm, cool, and collected" (thanks, Deva.) It defines the general attitude/mindset that I portray 99% of the time. I am rarely ever facially expressive.

    Another thing, about keeping in touch. I really never do, most of my friends call me. Occasionally I'll send the random text message to someone who I haven't spoken to in awhile, but if they don't contact me back, it doesn't hurt me at all. Mindless small talk is the bane of my existence, anyway.

    Enjoyed posting about this.
    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
    --Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"

    Nothing is worse than active ignorance.
    --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
    --Isaac Asimov

  2. #12
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    I volunteer with an ISTJ female - she's been officially tested and the first time we met she brought up the MBTI. She's not especially masculine, but very matter-of-fact and "cool, calm and collected." Usually she talks about taxes, public transportation or some other ordinary part of life.

    Last week I admired her earrings and she offered them to me! I thanked her and said no. She said she liked me a lot and then she hugged me. Both of these gestures blew me away. She's in her late 50s, so perhaps she's developed more F over the years?

    Jae Rae
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  3. #13
    Junior Member littlemissgiggles's Avatar
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    A close friend of mine is ISTJ and she does come across as a bit more masculine. She's a pretty strong introvert and doesn't have the greatest self-esteem, and she simply thinks in practical terms. It's especially obvious in her dress. In general she finds men's clothing more comfortable. Even when she dresses more formally she doesn't wear clothes that are as fitted or low-cut as most women's. I'm inclined to think that it's a self-esteem, not a type thing with her though, although she does seem to take less pleasure in "looking pretty" on special occasions than most girls. She's also way less dramatic, and avoids small talk, so I suppose people might find her more masculine than most because of her appearance and straightforward attitude.

    She isn't what I'd call 'masculine' on the inside though. She just doesn't volunteer her feelings about anything unless she's prompted to, and sometimes not even then.

  4. #14
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I think all female Ts share that experience, to varying degrees of course. I certainly have more of a "male" viewpoint than a female one...Most of my friends and all of my close friends are male because they share my mindset, unlike pretty much all of the girls I know.

    I don't know any ISTJs, I'm afraid, so I don't have a point for comparison, but I thought I'd share my perspective, anyway.

  5. #15
    Senior Member aeon's Avatar
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    For six years I dated a woman who typed as ISTJ.

    In my experience she was feminine, yet not girly, and she expressed emotion well. I had no sense that she concerned herself with those things we might describe as "masculine." She was concerned with the maintenance and function of community institutions such as day-care, grade schools, Girl/Boy Scouts, the public library, and so on. She worked as a fashion illustrator.


    cheers,
    Ian

  6. #16
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    My mom is good friends with my boyfriend's mom, who I'm guessing is an ISTJ.

    My boyfriend's mom doesn't use typical conversation cues that many women use, like nodding, smiling, and saying "uh-huh." She's definitely cool, calm, and blunt. My mom said that when they first met, she felt the need to be more "bubbly" to draw out the ISTJ because she didn't communicate expressively like most women. My mom said she acted like she might around a man when she was with my boyfriend's mom.

    My boyfriend's mom also isn't very maternal. She didn't want children and felt pressured to have one.

  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    *sigh* that poor great grandmother of mine, I think the only person in the family who can truely handle more than a couple hours with her is my father. Even then, my father is very annoyed by his grandmother's need for Victorian table manners while she's always annoyed when her eldest grandson is eating with chopsticks. The thing that helps is they respect eachother enough to not push eachother on either subject even though both know eachother's problem. Both of them, along with me, are also considered the black sheep of the family - not a surprise, though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
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    Yeah, they do not like it if someone is clowning around. I can tell you one thing that I've noticed from ISTJ parents. Is that they got fucked up children. Drugs, getting in trouble with the law, etc. That's what you get when you create rules which provide you security and also make you insecure of people break them.

    This is how it's like to grow up in an ISTJ household:

    Pot smoking son: I love drugs
    ISTJ parent: NO DRUGS! Verbally shouting and angry. DRUGS ARE EVIL YOU ARE EVIL. DO WHAT I SAY OR YOU ARE A EVIL BAD PERSON.
    Pot smoking son: I'm going to do cocaine tomorrow. heh heh heh.
    Pot smoking son then spends the next 10 years doin Meth, getting HIV, and becoming a gay person.

    This is how it's like to grow up in an ISTP household:

    Pot smoking son: I love drugs
    ISTP parent: really
    Pot smoking son: yeah
    ISTP parent: let's smoke together.
    Pot smoking son: huh? uh okay
    ISTP parent: alright, now let's play a drinking game, whoever loses has to clean the house.
    Pot smoking son: right on.
    ***after 5 drinks*
    Pot smoking son: oh shit, alright you win.
    ISTP: really, you got 3 hours to clean the place. Go on. Yeah, and if you smoke pot, definitely let me join in.
    Pot smoking son stops smoking pot and becomes a millionaire pimp.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Does she deal okay with the joking? The females ISTJ types I've known in real life do have some traditionally masculine qualities... but they also have a female self-image and definitely have the particularlity that females can show (even in regards to how the family should be managed and the home maintained). I wonder how much of the joking they can tolerate on the surface but inside it impacts their self-esteem. (I really don't know the answer to that.)... especially in SJ mentality, where one more easily gravitates towards the social norm as the baseline for how someone should behave.

  9. #19
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    THe two ISTJ females I know (my aunt, a surgeon, and the other was a former teacher) both had these qualities:

    *slaved away at professional life and moved high up in the ranks
    *extremely musical
    *extremely athletic; both competed at high levels (one, university basketball, the other, competitive cyclist)
    *extremely compassionate when they recognize a need in someone who didn't put themselves in a bad position but ends up in one due to circumstances; both quietly went out of their way to help people out
    *great with "trained" social cues; not so great with picking up the nuances with people's true intentions sometimes. Often misinterpreted body language of the other person in a conversation whenever they are personally overwhelmed. (My aunt talks about my uncle "rolling his eyes" and I babysit a lot so I'm over at their place a lot for dinner, etc., and he can do nothing and have the best of intentions and she still gets mad at him for his "attitude" which she can "sense" and he and I both know she's just overwhelmed because there is genuinely no attitude. Inferior Ne?
    *the teacher had good fashion sense but was not a "slave" to fashion; always looked good. My aunt was more unaware of girly things (too busy pwning music, athletics and becoming a high level surgeon to do anything else) and only in the past while has learned how to dress well.
    Both are mothers. Both married extraverted feelers.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  10. #20
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    betterthandead: can you explain to me, then, how a girl born in 1945 grew up under an ISTJ mother yet became an awesome teacher and sat on town counil in the 70s? Her worst "crime" was not marrying a white guy.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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