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  1. #1
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Default SJ's and self reliance ..

    I am curious .. How self sufficient are you? Do you find it easy to ask for help when required or would you rather go it yourself? If you was unemployed, would you be happy to lean on your partner/parents for financial assistance and for how long would that be acceptable in your eyes?

    If you would like to add any further comments, then please feel free
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Oh I'm horrible when it comes to asking for help. I'm constantly offering other people help, but when it comes to myself, I never ask until I absolutely have no choice. Thankfully, I've got a few really good friends that know just when something is going on with me (mannerisms change) and they call me out on trying to hide it.

    Funny how I'm always on top of it and offering help to others, but I can't open my mouth and ask for help when I need it!

  3. #3
    L'anima non dimora Donna Cecilia's Avatar
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    I started to be ashamed of myself when I was 18 and relying on my parents for money. It took two years of search, and, I started working at 20.

    When it comes to help, I don´t ask for it because I think and try all possible solutions when facing a problem. Also, recognizing that I can´t do something brings thoughts of being incompetent or faulty. So far, I could get over major difficulties by myself.

    Another problem is, being my friends´conflict-solver has placed me in the role of advisor, rather than somebody who has issues, or who needs to be taken care of. Once I assumed my role in the group, I never thought of asking for help either.

    "An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."
    Victor Hugo



    LII/INTj (Analyst) - 1w9 Sp/Sx - RC|O|EI - Melancholy/Choleric

  4. #4
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    My self-sufficiency depends on how self-sufficient I feel like I should be. I have standards for myself with regard to that. It's really a balance between my pride and my need for things to be done WELL, process notwithstanding. If I need help, I pretty much always ask for it, but sometimes getting that help (especially from particular people) makes me ashamed. I find myself thinking "This is horrible. I feel weak and helpless and I'm depending on these people who I should either never depend on, or depend on as little as possible. I hate every minute of it."
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #5
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I love generous and dependable people. They make me want to give my everything to them. Unfortunately, I hardly know anyone who embodies both of those traits together.

  6. #6
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I love generous and dependable people. They make me want to give my everything to them. Unfortunately, I hardly know anyone who embodies both of those traits together.
    When someone gives everything to everyone, it tends to expend stable elements that help make a person reliable.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    My self-sufficiency depends on how self-sufficient I feel like I should be. I have standards for myself with regard to that. It's really a balance between my pride and my need for things to be done WELL, process notwithstanding. If I need help, I pretty much always ask for it, but sometimes getting that help (especially from particular people) makes me ashamed. I find myself thinking "This is horrible. I feel weak and helpless and I'm depending on these people who I should either never depend on, or depend on as little as possible. I hate every minute of it."

    Mmmm, yes, pride is such a pain when it gets in the way. I think that's what my big problem is. I grew up an only child, so all my life I was called a spoiled brat that got whatever I wanted. When I hit 16 and started driving, I got a job and became very independent. Since then it's been really hard to ask for anything because I don't ever want someone to be able to say that my parents give me whatever I need because I'm an only child and spoiled rotten.

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