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[ISTJ] Being a ISTJ child?

alcea rosea

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I suspect that my son is ISTJ. He is quite small yet and impossible to really be typed but I'm stil interested in the possibility of him being ISTJ.

This all made me wonder:
- How did you ISTJ's think you were as a child?
- How did you react on strange people?
- What things were you interested in?
- What were your favourite hobbies?
- Were you serious?
- Were you persistent?
- How did you react to mess?
- Were you clean child?
- Were you disturbed of change?
- Did you like to play in big groups of children?
- How did you react on social pressure?
- Did you go your own way or the way other went?
- + all the other things you remember from your childhood.

I would be ever so grateful for your answers!! :)
And I know everybody's different but I would think ISTJ's would have some common traits when they were children.
 

The Ü™

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I always imagined an ISTJ child as the elementary student who policed the other students, saying "Ooooohhh!!!" every time someone did something wrong. I imagine their elementary school stereotype is the teacher's little helper.
 

alcea rosea

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I always imagined an ISTJ child as the elementary student who policed the other students, saying "Ooooohhh!!!" every time someone did something wrong. I imagine their elementary school stereotype is the teacher's little helper.

If ISTJ's are like that, then my son is not one. :D
 

Natrushka

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I answered these for my husband based on what he's told me. I can ask him the others on the weekend if you like.

- What things were you interested in?
Science, engineering, how stuff worked (taking things apart and rebuilding them)
- What were your favourite hobbies?
Reading - non fiction, national geographic, the encyclopoedia
- Were you serious?
Ha. When wasn't he.
- Were you persistent?
Unrelenting is how his mom describes him
- Were you disturbed of change?
Change was bad. It still is.
- Did you like to play in big groups of children?
"Does not play well with others" was written all over his report cards.

I think for children only 3 letters are used until they reach a certain age:

Personality and Kids

Portrait of an ISJ child:

Portrait of an ISJ Child
 

Natrushka

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I always imagined an ISTJ child as the elementary student who policed the other students, saying "Ooooohhh!!!" every time someone did something wrong.

Mine used "you're doing it wrong" and then tried to show them the error of their ways.
 

The Ü™

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I wouldn't think ISTJs play in big groups of children, either.
 
G

GirlAmerica

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My 11 yr old son is ISTJ.

He has a great sense of humor, very undertoned. I catch it and enjoy it although his ENFJ 10 yr old brother can be hurt by it (and sometimes my ISTJ means to hurt you with that humor!! and his ISFJ sister gets hurt and mad at it also)

He is driven and gets straight A's, and is in the gifted classes. Very serious with his studies, I NEVER have to mention his homework. It just gets done. His hand writing is small and not always neat. He does spring big projects on me at the last minute. I get irritated at that. He always seems to have it all planned out however, I just find myself running to the store when I didnt plan to.

He keeps very tight friends. I can count two good friends. Both from early elementary school. One in particular. Neither are as strong nor as aggressive as he is. He is the leader of the group.

He can be the behavior police, especially of his siblings.

He attaches himself for long term to the girls he likes. He will never tell them however and blushes when they come up. He grumbles when I ask about them. He is more free flowing when he tells me about them himself...which is very, very little.

His room is a wreck! His treasured things stored away neatly.

He keeps his hair and nails short. He is clean. Once in awhile he will ask for a mohawk.

He is very polite and I ALWAYS have others parents and teachers tell me what nice manners he has.

He will throw an occasional fit on me. He is very hard headed and does not learn lessons gracefully.

I still find him on my lap occasionally. More often now he if he knows something is upsetting or hurting he me will seek me out and hug me and love on me. He tells me I am a good mom, and a fun mom. We enjoy things like music together (he love AC/DC and Metallica especially now.....thank GAWD he got thru with the Weird Al phase.......ugh.)

He is never very materialistic. His Christmas list conservative.

He is my kinda peeeeeeps! LOVE the boy to death!!
 
G

GirlAmerica

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I did have to add that one of his friends mother's told me that at his lunch table is a group of bullies....my son is the one standing up to them and calling them out when they are messing with kids.
He is the one who will stand up to them and tell them to knock it off. Other than that, he doesnt get involved that I am aware of...although he might tell me some of the crazy things kids are doing at his school. Maybe it helps that he has his size behind him. He is about 5'3" 120lbs size 11 mens shoe (to be 6'4"-6'6" we are told by his ped.). Right now he is taller than most of his peers...although nearly a year younger (just turned 11 less than 3 mos ago and is in the 6th grade)...made his grade cut off by 3 days.
He is like a puppy dog with REALLY BIG FEET.....a fairly quiet voice and he mumbles a bit... like me.
 

alcea rosea

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I wouldn't think ISTJs play in big groups of children, either.

I have read the descriptions so I know it but I want to know how they react on big groups so I can compare their reaction to my son.
 
G

GirlAmerica

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Somestimes my son will be the clown in the center of the group...though, more often than not...on the sides observing....he tends to enjoy himself whatever the situation.
 

alcea rosea

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I answered these for my husband based on what he's told me. I can ask him the others on the weekend if you like.

Yes, please. It would be nice. :)

- What things were you interested in?
Science, engineering, how stuff worked (taking things apart and rebuilding them)

Ok, this is my son. Loves to take things apart just so see how they work. He rebuilds everything back if it still is possible.

- Were you serious?
Ha. When wasn't he.

But does he still have a peculiar sense of humour that you can see sometimes?
- Were you persistent?
Unrelenting is how his mom describes him

Ok, that's totally my son. He is more persistent than I can ever be and I'm supposed to be the adult in our household..
- Were you disturbed of change?
Change was bad. It still is.

Sounds very familiar.
- Did you like to play in big groups of children?
"Does not play well with others" was written all over his report cards.

Is this common thing for introverts or common thing for ISTJ's?

I think for children only 3 letters are used until they reach a certain age:

Personality and Kids

Portrait of an ISJ child:

Portrait of an ISJ Child

Thanks for the links!

My 11 yr old son is ISTJ.

He has a great sense of humor, very undertoned. I catch it and enjoy it although his ENFJ 10 yr old brother can be hurt by it (and sometimes my ISTJ means to hurt you with that humor!! and his ISFJ sister gets hurt and mad at it also)

Please describe more his sense of humour. Is it sarcastic or how would you describe it?

He is driven and gets straight A's, and is in the gifted classes. Very serious with his studies, I NEVER have to mention his homework. It just gets done. His hand writing is small and not always neat. He does spring big projects on me at the last minute. I get irritated at that. He always seems to have it all planned out however, I just find myself running to the store when I didnt plan to.

My son is not in school yet so I wouldn't know about the studying part. He seems very responsible even now (more responsible that I am sometimes).

He can be the behavior police, especially of his siblings.

We had fun the other Christmas when my son got a soft present from grandma. He politely gave the present back to grandma and said: I do not need this, thank you! I think it was hilarious how such a small boy would say that kind of thing. :D

He is very hard headed and does not learn lessons gracefully.

This part sounds very familiar to me. My son is extremely hard headed and persistent. I have noticed that I do not get things through to him if he thinks things should be different. I can't stand it. When he decides something, he really doesn't give up. And he is so young still. I'm going to be in big trouble with him when he grows up...:eek:

I still find him on my lap occasionally. More often now he if he knows something is upsetting or hurting he me will seek me out and hug me and love on me. He tells me I am a good mom, and a fun mom. We enjoy things like music together (he love AC/DC and Metallica especially now.....thank GAWD he got thru with the Weird Al phase.......ugh.)

My son comes to sit on my lap when he has a empty place in his nearness batteries. He comes and refills his batteries and then goes away. It's funny and strange in a way because my ExxP (ENTP probably) daughter does not do that and has never done that. She is not as affectionate as the ISTJ. How strange is that?
 

Recoleta

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I find myself as a child very similar to Girl America's son.

-self-motivated
-quiet, but polite
-liked to read
-I enjoyed legos, board games, rollerblading, swimming, soccer
-procrastinator (but like GA said, it's all filed away up in my head...it just needs to be put on paper)
-weird people either frightened me a little or I just shrugged my shoulders and was like, "Hmmm that's weird." (it depended on whether or not I felt threatened)
- I owned my brothers and sister (I was always in control)
- I am completely organized in my own disorganized way. It makes sense to me, I know where my things are, so do not touch them because you will ruin my system!...lol. I'm weird with messy things. I prefer clean and neat, but I'm pretty flexible there. I come from a large, messy family, so it's an accepted part of my life. However, when I lived away from home my place was clean.
- I'm very persistent and unrelenting when I'm arguing about something passionately
- I hate big life changes (especially if they are unexpected)...they still bother me.
- Social pressure was not much of an issue for me. I was always kind of a loner and did my own thing. I always managed to find a few really good friends along the way though. Many of my relationships with other introverts are like 50/50 leading, whereas I tend to follow the lead of extroverts if I like them.

Thinking back, my parents rarely disciplined me. I knew exactly what was expected of me, and I did it. I knew one day I would move out and have my own place, so I would go to my parents for advice when I needed it and asked for responsibility so I would be prepared for "the real world" when the time came...this was helpful in my teens, and was probably a way to get myself prepared for accepting the inevitable changes in the future. Around the time I started college was when we started to butt heads a bit. I really never fight with my parents all that much. We'll debate things, and I'd say on average I have 1-2 explosive arguments with my dad per year. We scream and bicker...I walk away (because I don't like conflict and fighting with my dad...I really respect him quite a bit) and then I don't speak to him for 2-3 days or so while I cool off and then we reach a compromise and move on like nothing happened.

Something else that you might like to know as a parent. ISTJ's respect consistency very much. My mom is very inconsistent and lenient as a parent, and therefore I had little respect for her while growing up. If I wanted, I could have walked all over her. My dad on the other hand, when he said something, he meant it, and I knew I better do it. He didn't let me take advantage and manipulate my way out of my responsibilities. The things he taught me, the opportunities for responsibility he gave me, and the consistency he had in discipline stayed with me throughout life. I suppose this is applicable for children of any type, but I think ISTJ's really need to see their parents take responsibility...if the ISTJ child is more responsible than the parent then the ISTJ will lose respect, and frankly will come to the understanding that they are more powerful and influential than the parents. Once they lose that respect, you have almost no hope of regaining it.
 

substitute

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My friend the ISTJ who is in the room with me here right now, says that when he was a kid he used to think that making a mistake was somehow morally wrong. That is, if he did something inaccurately, or "wrong" (according to his dad or teacher), he believed himself to be sinful. Getting things wrong made him feel very guilty, as though it was a sign that there was something wrong with him.

He says he's gotten over it a bit now, but it still lurks there, and he says it's why he tends to take a hard line against that which is inaccurate. He sees it as bad.

He says that this made it easy for him to be a bully at school - not a ringleader or a jock or anything like that, but he'd quite ruthlessly mock and deride people who didn't make the grade, people who had something not quite right about them. He still finds it "disturbingly easy" (his words) to slip into that mode again as an adult; to pick on someone he views as not worthy of respect and make them the butt of his jokes, to have little regard for what it does to that person psychologically to be repeatedly and relentlessly humiliated by him. He says he has to fight against seeing it as justified because that person deserves it, and therefore he's righteous for giving them what they deserve.

This mentality is completely foreign to me :huh: But I can see it at work in him as an adult and can imagine how it made him as a child.

I don't know how much of that is ISTJ or how much is him just being screwed up... but that's what he said when I asked him about this topic just now.
 

alcea rosea

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I find myself as a child very similar to Girl America's son.

-self-motivated
-quiet, but polite
-liked to read
-I enjoyed legos, board games, rollerblading, swimming, soccer
-procrastinator (but like GA said, it's all filed away up in my head...it just needs to be put on paper)
-weird people either frightened me a little or I just shrugged my shoulders and was like, "Hmmm that's weird." (it depended on whether or not I felt threatened)
- I owned my brothers and sister (I was always in control)
- I am completely organized in my own disorganized way. It makes sense to me, I know where my things are, so do not touch them because you will ruin my system!...lol. I'm weird with messy things. I prefer clean and neat, but I'm pretty flexible there. I come from a large, messy family, so it's an accepted part of my life. However, when I lived away from home my place was clean.
- I'm very persistent and unrelenting when I'm arguing about something passionately
- I hate big life changes (especially if they are unexpected)...they still bother me.
- Social pressure was not much of an issue for me. I was always kind of a loner and did my own thing. I always managed to find a few really good friends along the way though. Many of my relationships with other introverts are like 50/50 leading, whereas I tend to follow the lead of extroverts if I like them.

Thinking back, my parents rarely disciplined me. I knew exactly what was expected of me, and I did it. I knew one day I would move out and have my own place, so I would go to my parents for advice when I needed it and asked for responsibility so I would be prepared for "the real world" when the time came...this was helpful in my teens, and was probably a way to get myself prepared for accepting the inevitable changes in the future. Around the time I started college was when we started to butt heads a bit. I really never fight with my parents all that much. We'll debate things, and I'd say on average I have 1-2 explosive arguments with my dad per year. We scream and bicker...I walk away (because I don't like conflict and fighting with my dad...I really respect him quite a bit) and then I don't speak to him for 2-3 days or so while I cool off and then we reach a compromise and move on like nothing happened.

Something else that you might like to know as a parent. ISTJ's respect consistency very much. My mom is very inconsistent and lenient as a parent, and therefore I had little respect for her while growing up. If I wanted, I could have walked all over her. My dad on the other hand, when he said something, he meant it, and I knew I better do it. He didn't let me take advantage and manipulate my way out of my responsibilities. The things he taught me, the opportunities for responsibility he gave me, and the consistency he had in discipline stayed with me throughout life. I suppose this is applicable for children of any type, but I think ISTJ's really need to see their parents take responsibility...if the ISTJ child is more responsible than the parent then the ISTJ will lose respect, and frankly will come to the understanding that they are more powerful and influential than the parents. Once they lose that respect, you have almost no hope of regaining it.

Thanks for this!

About that consistency... I cannot provide that to my son. :( I simply don't know how to be consistent. (I'm ENFP anyway!) I really fear that my son does not get too much of that in our family when both parents are P's. My husband does have authority but he is not the consistent one either.
 
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GirlAmerica

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he is dry.......and finds things that are off beat funny. Not the typical fluffy bunny humor. Kind of dark or weird.......(like me/INTJ).
 

Recoleta

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Thanks for this!

About that consistency... I cannot provide that to my son. :( I simply don't know how to be consistent. (I'm ENFP anyway!) I really fear that my son does not get too much of that in our family when both parents are P's. My husband does have authority but he is not the consistent one either.

Well, you can't have it all. It's ok. ISTJ's are usually very responsible anyway, and because they are very family-oriented he will likely have respect for you and your husband regardless of consistency. My father provided consistency, but my mother was never intimidating to go to, and she was more artistic and loose anyway. She was more relaxing to be around. You and your husband can still teach your son great things. So long as he knows how much you love him and is shown love and respect you shouldn't have to worry. My dad showed love by challenging me and not letting me win, my mom showed me love by letting me do what I wanted. I see the value in both. You learn from all kinds of experiences. I just wanted to give you the heads up to not be surprised when your son gets very good at arguing (and winning) his point. ;)
 

The Ü™

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Somewhat OT, but on reading the ISxJ's profile at Personality Page, how do we define "literal thinking?"

I think in terms of psychology, I think the literal interpretation of a term like, for example, "Biting my head off" would be interpreted as how society normally defines it to mean, which is to overreact to a trivial situation, so in a way, that meaning is the literal meaning.

However, to interpret "Biting my head off" as to bite a person's head off, that would be a socially figurative interpretation because that's not what most people mean.

Having said all of this, I disagree with using how literally one instinctively understands language in determining type, because it's rather narrow. Rather determining type should be on how literally one takes the world. Literally as in seeing how the cigar is just a cigar, without an instinctive curiosity to go beyond that, as in how it got there, how it was made, and what it can be.

Because everybody is going to take language literally at first before attempting to understand what it means. So in that way, we are all literal.

And fear of the unknown is really something most likely common in all types, simply because it's human nature.
 

runvardh

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Alcearos, do you see your son doing something like this for laughs?

Manipulating a group of drunk people down different trails in a forest park on halloween night using blair witch stickmen.
 

swordpath

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I have been typed ISTJ on two different tests I took back to back the first time I heard about MBTI. I went back and took one of the tests again a few weeks to a month or so later and was told I was INTJ.

When I was younger and up until high school I was super hyper, a class clown, a bit of a trouble maker. I still have tendencies to be crazy and spontaneous :devil: but it's hard to say how much I've changed. From onlookers it would probably seem like I'm totally different now from what I was in my younger years. But I really don't think I've changed that much, just come down to earth a little more perhaps. I've always been very idealistic with expectations from myself and others and that has not changed. I dunno how much of that has to do with an ISTJ's personality or if that's just something specific to myself.
 
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