User Tag List

Results 1 to 9 of 9

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    138

    Default ISFJ or ISTJ male

    I have a hard time deciphering SF from ST men, especially the introverted ones. Men just don't show their feelings as women do.

    I'm trying to figure out if my dad is an ISFJ or ISTJ. What are some characteristics of each; similiarities and differences?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,663

    Default

    Hrmm...I don't know too much about ISTJ men, but being an ISFJ male I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    138

    Default

    [QUOTE=tinker683;1173031]

    "Love is a human religion in which another person is believed in."- Robert Seidenberg

    �I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.� - Roy Croft

    QUOTE]

    Wow .. my dad would never be so mushy, unless he felt this way but didn't verbalize it. Are ISFJ men verbally expressive of their affections?

  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    My dad is ISTJ and he is very affectionate at certain times. My smom is ISFJ. I grew up with them as my parents (although I visited my mom) from the age of 7. Here's how I would explain the difference.

    ISTJ: Control freak by demand. ("That's how it SHOULD be")
    ISFJ: Control freak by guilt trips. ("I'm helping you out, don't you see")

    I know these are both negative but sometimes it's easier to see negatives, especially with parents.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    26

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    ISTJ: Control freak by demand. ("That's how it SHOULD be")
    ISFJ: Control freak by guilt trips. ("I'm helping you out, don't you see")
    +1

    My ISFJ father has caused much pain and frustration through his guilt trips (which i despise so much). When he didn't get the response he wanted from the guilt trips he satisfied his desire for revenge in other ways, always avoiding a confrontation. They still have the "That's how it SHOULD be" type thoughts, but aren't as direct as the ISTJ, it seems.

  6. #6
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,663

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Julie1962 View Post
    Wow .. my dad would never be so mushy, unless he felt this way but didn't verbalize it. Are ISFJ men verbally expressive of their affections?
    I can be (and am very often) VERY expressive verbally of my affections....if and only if I know they are desired. Otherwise I tend to come off as nice, but very quiet and almost stoic-like.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  7. #7
    Senior Member incubustribute's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    297

    Default

    Can you describe your dad a bit? What are some of his hobbies? Why does he enjoy doing the things he does? What are his pet peeves? What's his style of communicating?

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    138

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by incubustribute View Post
    Can you describe your dad a bit? What are some of his hobbies? Why does he enjoy doing the things he does? What are his pet peeves? What's his style of communicating?

    My dad is elderly now and has alzheimers but we had our issues growing up which I am trying to make peace with through MBTI.

    I tend to lean towards him being an ISTJ but maybe he was a weak T?

    In his teens and young adult years he was very much into going to hear live music (swing, big band), he was on a swim team, he liked to drink, he was extremely shy and even quit college because he had to give a speech. He had very bad social anxiety. He was in WWII and very patriotic (but who wasn't from that generation). He was a civil war buff and interested in all wars from then on as well.

    He had that work before play work ethic. He had systems for doing things whether is was recycling, yardwork, etc. He was hands off father but provided the right environment for kids to play; had built in swimming pool built, made a basketball court for boys, bought additional property so kids could play baseball, when I got into horses moved to country and bought me 3 horses, etc.

    I guess problem I had with him was his control issues over my mother, sometimes bordering verbally abusive, and his drinking. Even he was controlled with that and only drank Friday nights so he could run the family business during the week.

    I never saw him express affections toward mom or kids verbally but as I said showed us through providing gifts and fun home environment.

    Emotionally, he was always under control until he blew his stack on rare occasion. Never ever guilt trips or emotional manipulation were laid on us. He was blunt or had an expression of disdain when frustrated with kids.

    He never socialized with friends but all our family gatherings centered around family.

    Finally, I think he was a bit OCD in some areas such as leaves. In the fall he would rake everyday and get mad if one leaf fell on the ground. He didn't like any dirt, grass or leaves on the surface surrounding the pool either. Everyday he had to spray down the cement and get all the debris off before he went swimming.

  9. #9
    loopy Ulaes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    crak
    Enneagram
    sax
    Socionics
    adhd
    Posts
    850

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Julie1962 View Post
    I have a hard time deciphering SF from ST men, especially the introverted ones. Men just don't show their feelings as women do.

    I'm trying to figure out if my dad is an ISFJ or ISTJ. What are some characteristics of each; similiarities and differences?

    Thanks!
    they can be tough to tell apart because they can both be critical, wounded, nitpicky, quiet and they both love familarity.
    i notice isfjs really like to have someone else in charge. they control the situation so it's not them in the boss' seat. istjs won't make a grab for world domination either but they'll bear their teeth when you're doing something they don't approve of. isfjs don't do direct confrontation.
    Ts are task oriented and egocentric while Fs are relationship oriented and accomodating.

    I never saw him express affections toward mom or kids verbally but as I said showed us through providing gifts and fun home environment.

    Emotionally, he was always under control until he blew his stack on rare occasion. Never ever guilt trips or emotional manipulation were laid on us. He was blunt or had an expression of disdain when frustrated with kids.
    sounds istj to me. there's the possibility, especially concidering his age and that he was SJ, that gender expectations could have trained his external behaviour.

Similar Threads

  1. [SJ] Am I an ISFJ or ISTJ?
    By The Human in forum Myers-Briggs Type Profiles
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-12-2017, 11:55 AM
  2. INFP, ISFJ or ISTJ? Help me, please
    By Clegane in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09-30-2017, 12:17 PM
  3. [ISTJ] question to ISTJ males...what should I do about this guy?
    By b4b in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 06-03-2015, 02:09 PM
  4. [ISTJ] Things that really anouy me... or ISTJ's in general?
    By iamthemonkeyman in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 03-27-2010, 09:37 AM
  5. [ISTJ] How does one successfully seduce an ISTJ male?
    By ReadingRainbows in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 05-21-2009, 09:32 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO