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  1. #1
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Default ISTJ & Family attachment

    so...do ISTJs/Have you ISTJs had problems detaching from their family? Once you move out and/or get married, do you have issues breaking that bond?

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    mine's an orphan, so the answer there is no
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  3. #3
    L'anima non dimora Donna Cecilia's Avatar
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    I live with my family, and I have a strong emotional detachment from them. Don´t ask why, it´s just hard to explain.

    No wonder what will happen when I leave home. I think I won´t have any problems, since I haven´t developed any kind of emotional dependence to them.

    In fact, I had been eight months away form home due to work two years ago, and, I phoned home about four times. And one e-mail per month.

    "An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."
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  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Can't say that I'm so attached that I can't leave them.

    I remember when I moved out my parent's house. I was 26. They knew I was going to buy my aunt's house from my cousin, so when my uncle moved out, I came home that Sunday night and told my parents that I was moving out.

    My dad said something like 'We didn't talk about this', but didn't push the issue.

    I didn't think anything of it back then, but I guess it was in my head that I was moving, and the time came. Since I rarely if ever vocalized it, I can see them being shocked at my announcement.

    Looking back on it, my exit should have been discussed a little more.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    so...do ISTJs/Have you ISTJs had problems detaching from their family? Once you move out and/or get married, do you have issues breaking that bond?
    I'm sorry, but I think you got us mixed up with ISFJs.

    I don't think that ISTJs are really that attached to their families. We are more prone to be attached to our workplaces. I think.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  6. #6
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I'm sorry, but I think you got us mixed up with ISFJs.

    I don't think that ISTJs are really that attached to their families. We are more prone to be attached to our workplaces. I think.
    "Would rather be friendless than jobless"

  7. #7
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I'm sorry, but I think you got us mixed up with ISFJs.

    I don't think that ISTJs are really that attached to their families. We are more prone to be attached to our workplaces. I think.
    Hmm, interesting. I know the ISTJ is for sure a T, without a doubt, haha, but he definitely values family, and is a very, very, very hardwork, but he wouldn't EVER be caught dead putting in more hours at the office than he needed to...

    So, if we were to say that this particular ISTJ is ... as I see it... a little unhealthily attached to his family, is there MBTI reasons, or do you think he's just a small minority?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Of course there's this "I can't abandon them"-mindset we ISTJs have. When we get attached to something, we do it fully... and beyond that.

    For example, this ISTJ might be feeling obligated to participate whatever the family is doing, and feels guilty if he's not able to do so. Many ISTJs define themselves by reflecting on how much others are willing to depend on them.

    I for one do not have very deep emotional attachment towards my family, but nevertheless I will always feel that I'm obligated to help any member of the family the best of my ability. Currently my elderly brother is residing with me... practically for free.

    But what's your (/ENFP's) definition of "a little unhealthy" attachment to a family?
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  9. #9
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    For example, this ISTJ might be feeling obligated to participate whatever the family is doing, and feels guilty if he's not able to do so. Many ISTJs define themselves by reflecting on how much others are willing to depend on them.
    This sounds familiar, i think he LOVES family tradition SO much, and if he doesn't participate, he is sad that he's missing out.


    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I for one do not have very deep emotional attachment towards my family...
    What is your family's types? Would you be more attached if they were all ISTJs?


    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    But what's your (/ENFP's) definition of "a little unhealthy" attachment to a family?
    Well, this ISTJ is well over the age of liking/wanting to hang out with his parents (late 20s). I believe that he would rather hang out with his family more than his friends, and yes, sometimes I feel like I am in competition with his mom (think Everybody Loves Raymond, but not quite that extreme, and he ENJOYS/WANTS to hang out with his family, and does not find them overbearing).

    He takes off work to go on family vacations, and finds no problem with it, as long as he can afford to go on the trips. he even said one time that once he gets married, he thinks it would be "weird" not waking up and opening up gifts with his family on Christmas morning.

    He's moved out before, but came home every weekend to spend time with his family.


    Is this unhealthy or am I just too worried?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Unhealhty? Why would it be unhealthy if it works for him? Some families have tighter bonds than others.

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