Pushed my girlfriend away last night. I didn't have enough faith in my girlfriend and the relationship, that even though my actions might be extremely hurtful at times, these little disagreements do not weaken the relationship. Constantly asking for reassurance and clarification that things are OK between us after these disagreements, however was too much...
I wish I could blame my 'type' that insecure ISFJ are naturally worried about offending the other person, and afraid that they might do something that will push people away. But... that's another thing that I didn't do enough. Taking responsibilities.
I don't know what to do. I feel kind of jaded at the moment, that I can't sustain a relationship because I'll eventually just end up hurting people too much. But, it's exactly because of this attitude, that I've potentially lost my relationship now. I don't know whether I should chase and constantly shout! Or whether I should just accept things as they are, and let go... I've already done enough damage.
I'm not the most healthy of individuals. Yet, at the same time... when do I know I'm healthy enough to engage in others?
I don't know what to think at the moment. I honestly need some answers at the moment.
How long will it take before I can forgive myself for causing hurt to others?
I'm sorry for all this self-pity.
Sooo sleepy. I've slept 40 out of the last 48 hours. I thought it was because I was taking medication on the first day for my cold but I stopped that and the fever went away but I still feel so sleepy. I hope it goes away today because I have things to get back to.
Originally Posted by Noon
edit: I totally feel like I'm spamming this poor thread