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  1. #1
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    Default living with an ESTJ

    i'm moving in with a couple of guys i know and one of them happens to be an ESTJ. He's a good guy and we get along pretty well. Being an ENTJ myself and well aware of our type a personalities, what are some tips to make this living situation as smooth as possible?

  2. #2
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Hide all sharp objects.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Hide all sharp objects.
    is in my boot ok?

  4. #4
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ Lol, don't worry about it too much. From my experience with ENTJs, we get along really well as long as neither of us are too Te-happy (i.e. bossing each other around all the time). I've liked pretty much every single ENTJ I've met, except for the really mean/unhealthy ones. So really, I don't know if you really need to prepare at all.

    I might suggest, though, that if you disagree on certain significant things that he feels very strongly about (e.g. politics), to not try and get into a debate with him about it. It would probably end with you being confused and him being frustrated and feeling personally attacked, and neither one of you having changed your mind. But that's not really a big deal either.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  5. #5
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by corey_vann View Post
    is in my boot ok?
    From both of you! LOL

    How old are both of you?

    Living with a person can change your perception of them. If he's not on to MBTI, you might want to read about his as well and see where there could be conflict with you two, namely, the Aux Ni/Si- meaning that two take charge (read: Te) people will see the same data but apply it differently, at the worse, somebody's going to jail for the night because somebody left a spoon in the sink, drank a bottled water that didn't belong to them, or left their dirty boxers on the floor in the bathroom.

    I'm talking from both sides- you have your quirks, he has his. Vet these out early!

  6. #6
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    ESTJ and ENTJ are both take charge personality types, along with ENFJ and ESTP.... I once lived with an ESTJ and ENTJ roommate and my ENFJ sister was almost always over hanging out with us, so it made for a room of leaders and no followers

    We all got along pretty well until the ENTJ decided she didn't need any of the rest of us because she had to study for the MCAT and boss around her boyfriend and that took up all of her time

    The first few years went smoothly with all of us though... I was mostly the link between everyone because I was the least stubborn and a natural born politician though

    Maybe you need to add an ESTP into the mix!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    I find that most ESTJs are pretty respectful as long as you're more or less considered his peer. When you want to watch out is when the relationship is inherently imbalanced (boss-subordinate; parent-child; etc.)

    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  8. #8
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ^I agree, to an extent. In non-peer relationships, I've noticed that if the ESTJ is the subordinate, it works fine if the ENTJ makes it clear that they appreciate/understand/listen to the ESTJ's inevitable (and blunt) input. However, I don't think ENTJs can handle not being the boss as well - I don't think ESTJs are natural leaders like ENTJs are. They're natural critics, but maybe not natural leaders.

    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    at the worse, somebody's going to jail for the night because somebody left a spoon in the sink, drank a bottled water that didn't belong to them, or left their dirty boxers on the floor in the bathroom.
    Totally true. I guess, with things like that, it all depends on maturity, on both sides - you know, whether you're capable of letting go and letting the other person do what they do. I had a tough time like that when my roommate's extremely messy ESFP boyfriend would wreck the place, and wasn't capable of remembering not to make the same mess mistakes every time he was there. But as long as you get past that stage (and hopefully the stage won't even arrive -), it'll be fine
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

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