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  1. #11
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    mine likes to try to be misanthropic and claim to hate humanity... he's a horrible failure at it though

    He may be somewhat of a hermit on weeknights, but he generally invites old friends or family over on Sunday for dinner and games, or Saturday night to play board games and things of that sort... and he helps people out all of the time

    he is the worst misanthrope ever :rolli:
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #12
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    Well, I guess I'd like to preface by saying that I have depression. Now on to the main point. 90% of the people I meet I dislike and want nothing to do with. The remaining 10% that I have a good gut feeling about usually never progress beyond acquaintance. Now, my feelings towards most of humanity is very negative, and as I mentioned earlier, I dislike most people. I guess it's partway a gut feeling, and partway just seeing the negative in people. Unfortunately, I'm also depressed. I dislike other people and I dislike myself. I'm not a very happy person. Is a less severe attitude of self-loathing and dislike of people part of being an ISTJ, or is it just something unique to me on top of that?
    I think the "I hate everyone" attitude might be an ISTJ trend, if not a universal one. My ISTJ cousin certainly comes across that way; she's always the one standing on the sidelines, silently laughing at the antics of stupid people.

    My view, on the other hand, isn't so negative. The bolded part, were you to tweak it a bit, I could relate to. I don't dislike most people, but 90% of the people I chat with, I don't connect with any further than that. I can have a surprisingly deep and personal conversation with them, and they might connect with me a lot, but I could do without them and probably never speak to them again. I think that both ISTJs and ESTJs, as well as many other Ts, have mastered the art of keeping one's distance. ESTJs especially, though, because it seems to me that even though we seem to make a lot of friends and connections, we hold a lot back and don't connect easily, which you wouldn't guess upon a first meeting. I guess we fake it well, lol.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #13
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I can identify myself with your problems. They seem to be common with ISTJs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    Now on to the main point. 90% of the people I meet I dislike and want nothing to do with. The remaining 10% that I have a good gut feeling about usually never progress beyond acquaintance.
    I've noticed that I practice a strong prejudgement on people, based on their looks, behaviour and interests. I feel that I'm pretty good at it, but I'm also doubting that it's kind of self-fulfilling prohecy. I might think that someone doesn't like me, and act in ways that will prevent from said person connecting with me, leaving the person at distance.

    Few times I have mistaken with my judgements. The person I thought would be superficial or dumb turned out to be a fun and jovial person.

    So now I'm trying to give each person a chance to prove themselves, before I completely judge their persona. It's not always so easy..

    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    Now, my feelings towards most of humanity is very negative, and as I mentioned earlier, I dislike most people. I guess it's partway a gut feeling, and partway just seeing the negative in people.
    Usually when you dislike a person you hardly know, it comes from some other misinterpreted feeling the person provokes in you. Could you be afraid, jealous or threatened by the said person? These feelings usually lead into a feelings of hatred.

    Back in the elementary school, I was being constantly bullied by my class mates and failed to connect with most of the kids. That left me with thought that everyone who isn't my close friend, is a potential bully, who'd not like anymore more but to see me humiliated. That made me afraid of people I didn't know. And quite often that fear changed into loathing and despise.

    I'm still, many many years later, having difficult of not despising people I find intimidating.

    So I advice you to look into your feelings, and name all of the feelings these people provoke in you. I'm rather sure that somewhere along the line there is a reason why you hate people so much, and that's usually a product of an emotional wound suffered earlier.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    Unfortunately, I'm also depressed. I dislike other people and I dislike myself. I'm not a very happy person. Is a less severe attitude of self-loathing and dislike of people part of being an ISTJ, or is it just something unique to me on top of that?
    ISTJs seem to be pro at finding faults in things. It's a blessing for those who seek to improve and develop faulty things, but a curse for those who use it as their primary information source for human interactions. Trying to see the good in people will help you more, than finding possible faults in people.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  4. #14
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    I'm not the biggest social butterfly in that when I'm home on week nights or weekends I'm generally by myself, but that isn't because I dislike people. I just happen to be alone then and often just goof off with solitary activities (watching a movie/playing WoW/reading a book/cleaning up the apartment/ whatever).

    I actually TRY to go out and hang with some of my coworkers but they're usually up and about doing there own thing. It actually makes wonder sometimes if people think I'm boring

    But otherwise, I really like people. I don't talk to them a whole lot, but I like them overall.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  5. #15
    L'anima non dimora Donna Cecilia's Avatar
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    Happened to me too, when I suffered from depression. Seek therapy, but no pills -they make things worse (when I took the first, and last, one, I got stoned for the whole day) And, stick to the people you like.

    I "like" very few people, but I think it is not because of being ISTJ, it´s because I have tastes and habits which are not considered "normal" where I live. Being one month in Germany made me realize that. I liked all the people I met there (who liked me as well), and, when I got back here, I was feeling like an outcast again. Maybe you should seek for groups of people who share your views and interests. When you find yourself in a more friendly environment, you´ll surely find people you like, and start seeing humanity in a more positive light.

    "An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."
    Victor Hugo



    LII/INTj (Analyst) - 1w9 Sp/Sx - RC|O|EI - Melancholy/Choleric

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    I have about 3 friends whom I really like. Not as much as the rest of the planet but that's what I have. I dislike 90% of everyone else I see.



    I tried pills but they made me worse.



    That's good to know.



    Of course s/he would never tell you. s/he would think that if they ever let you know how they felt you'd mock and shame them. That believe further reinforces their negative opinion of you. It's a viscous cycle. They can't risk opening up, which makes them dislike you more, so they can't risk opening up...And the ego is probably a bluff, yeah..
    hey...i didn't say they disliked me...just most everyone else.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17

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    As a general update, I'm not really depressed anymore. I was going through a particularly bad funk that lasted a while, a lot longer than normal, but I'm OK now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Forest View Post
    Similar to me, humans are so incredibly irritating, selfish creatures. I have one friend i like and enjoy being around though, and think i am pretty close to him. About 3 more people i would consider close friends, though i do have to force myself to keep in touch with them to an extent. I think this is a semi-common perspective of many introverts, i think introverts are a fair bit more likely to become depressed as well unfortunately. :/
    Same for me. I made a group of good friends over the past year, but now they're drifting away. I'll be moving in the next few months so having no friends for that period of time is tolerable for me.


    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Do you like interacting with people online? If so, what makes it different/better to you?
    Most of the people I interact with online have similar interests to mine. That makes it more fun for one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Laura View Post
    One of my best friends once told me that I had this special skill. My special skill is being able to pick out people's faults. As a result, although I can appreciate people and enjoy their company from time to time, there are very few people I actually truly care about and like. I am nice to pretty much everyone and most people like me, but it definently is not mutual. It's not to say my close friends do not have faults, clearly, rather something just clicked between us that made it work.
    Indeed. Speaks to me perfectly.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I think the "I hate everyone" attitude might be an ISTJ trend, if not a universal one. My ISTJ cousin certainly comes across that way; she's always the one standing on the sidelines, silently laughing at the antics of stupid people.
    I don't hate everyone. Some people I strongly dislike, and most I'd rather have nothing to do with. But I don't hate people, that's a very strong word. If I could help someone who was in trouble I would, I wouldn't gain any enjoyment out of their pain.


    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I've noticed that I practice a strong prejudgement on people, based on their looks, behaviour and interests. I feel that I'm pretty good at it, but I'm also doubting that it's kind of self-fulfilling prohecy. I might think that someone doesn't like me, and act in ways that will prevent from said person connecting with me, leaving the person at distance.
    I'm more judgmental than I'd like to be. But most of the time I'm right or close enough so why change?


    Few times I have mistaken with my judgements. The person I thought would be superficial or dumb turned out to be a fun and jovial person.

    So now I'm trying to give each person a chance to prove themselves, before I completely judge their persona. It's not always so easy..
    That's happened a few times to me before. But I don't make an effort to give them a chance. I make judgments and if their wrong I admit that to myself and form new opinions of them.

    Usually when you dislike a person you hardly know, it comes from some other misinterpreted feeling the person provokes in you. Could you be afraid, jealous or threatened by the said person? These feelings usually lead into a feelings of hatred.
    I usually feel threatened by or am afraid of people yes. Hence why I don't like most of them.

  8. #18
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    i took it as normal for an istj to dislike most people. but i've only known one, so i suppose i don't know if it's the "normal" way of looking/thinking for your type.

  9. #19
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spectre of the spam View Post
    Well, I guess I'd like to preface by saying that I have depression. Now on to the main point. 90% of the people I meet I dislike and want nothing to do with. The remaining 10% that I have a good gut feeling about usually never progress beyond acquaintance. Now, my feelings towards most of humanity is very negative, and as I mentioned earlier, I dislike most people. I guess it's partway a gut feeling, and partway just seeing the negative in people. Unfortunately, I'm also depressed. I dislike other people and I dislike myself. I'm not a very happy person. Is a less severe attitude of self-loathing and dislike of people part of being an ISTJ, or is it just something unique to me on top of that?
    Well, this is nice to know. It means that the ISTJ 'tude I get all the time isn't personal. xD

    Anyway, you answered your own question. You said you had depression. That's the problem. If you're depressed, you're going to want to bitchslap every person you see. Either that or hide under a crusty bed all day...

    See a doc. Get on some pills, eat your fish, work through whatever issues you have, and the problem should resolve itself.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I don't dislike people, I just prefer to have minimal contact with the lot of them.

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