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  1. #81
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    It is very confusing .. that is probably why i know a lot of people, but don't have many people i call friends. Maybe just 1 now.

    Do you ever feel like you are living in the wrong time and place? That you seem out of place? That being traditional, kind and respectful is no longer viewed as good and honest?
    (apologies, getting a bit deep there. )
    I know what you mean Saslou. Maybe that's why I like Jane Austin movies so much. Although I am all of the above: traditional, kind and respectful -- sometimes people don't understand me at all and their view of me is way different. ENFPs find me boring, I think. Or controlling. Which is really weird. One friend just told me the other day that her friend thought I didn't like her. I like her just fine...I have no clue why she thinks that. A lot of the time, I just feel misunderstood.

    That's partially why I come on here...it's nice to see other people see and do things the same way as me. It's also nice to learn things about other types, so I don't take things personally.

    With regard to IQ tests...my INFP husband scored a little higher than me on them (he can remember random useless facts like nobody's business), but I scored much higher than he did on the emotional intelligence test and I think that emotional intelligence is just as important as IQ. It was funny, because we had to read body language from people and then interpret the results and he thought he would do so well because he was an N, but because of my observation and memory skills, I way outdid him on that. We are all a mix of many different things and we are all unique, just like everyone else (like it says on the boards!)

  2. #82
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    I know what you mean Saslou. Maybe that's why I like Jane Austin movies so much. Although I am all of the above: traditional, kind and respectful -- sometimes people don't understand me at all and their view of me is way different. ENFPs find me boring, I think. Or controlling. Which is really weird. One friend just told me the other day that her friend thought I didn't like her. I like her just fine...I have no clue why she thinks that. A lot of the time, I just feel misunderstood.

    That's partially why I come on here...it's nice to see other people see and do things the same way as me. It's also nice to learn things about other types, so I don't take things personally.

    With regard to IQ tests...my INFP husband scored a little higher than me on them (he can remember random useless facts like nobody's business), but I scored much higher than he did on the emotional intelligence test and I think that emotional intelligence is just as important as IQ. It was funny, because we had to read body language from people and then interpret the results and he thought he would do so well because he was an N, but because of my observation and memory skills, I way outdid him on that. We are all a mix of many different things and we are all unique, just like everyone else (like it says on the boards!)

    Awww, bless you. There does seem to be a lot of miscommunication between the types. That is why places like this are good (and sometimes bad when people are hating :steam:, lol)

    Don't worry about the IQ tests, they are aimed at N's anyway, so we will mostly get lower scores. We are smarter in different ways. It's all good.
    D@v3 told me and another about this test .. Give it a try, it is more suited to S's i think and gives positive affirmations about your personality.
    PersonalDNA | Your True Self Revealed - Fast Fun Free Personality Tests
    I came up as an encouraging designer. It mostly rang true. What are you? I am being nosy now
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #83
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Wow, there is a lot of ISFJ bashing (more specifically SJ's...but still)! I think it's important to remember that personality type does NOT define people. We each have our own personalities and experiences that help make us who we are. And there is such a thing as emotional intelligence as well as intellectual intelligence. I am an ISFJ and I know a few ISFJ's and we are all over the map in intellectual intellegence. My sister is an ISFJ and never finished high school. I have been accepted with a full ride scholarship to law school. My son's stepmother is an ISFJ with a double major in Psychology and Engineering and is extremely intelligent. My ex-husband is an ISFJ and has been working in a toilet paper factory for over 10 years. Our personality type does not define our intelligence.

    I feel like I need to stick up a little for ISFJ's here. Also, stereotyping ISFJ's as controlling and needy or doormats is like sterotyping a specific ethnicity as lazy (incorrect!). My INFP husband could never be with someone who is controlling...he does his own thing and he wouldn't have it any other way. I am nobody's doormat. I am kind and compassionate and empathetic, but I can also see through bullshit and call it for what it is. I wouldn't take advantage of other people and I am not someone who lets other people take advantage of them. With regard to our "niceness" at first wearing off, I think that is a matter of perspective. Anytime you get to know someone, their not so pretty side comes out. And EVERYONE has a not so pretty side or a "shadow" side. EVERYONE has skeletons in their closets. Isn't that why they say "familiarity breeds contempt?" I don't recall the saying being "ISFJ's and familiarity breed contempt."

    If someone has an abrasive personality (like the original poster), I am not going to be their best friend. I will try to find the good in them (like I do with everyone), and focus on that - especially if I have to be around them at work, but they are going to grate on mine (or ANYONE's nerves.)

    I don't understand how ISFJs can be characterized as doormats, yet controlling. If we give in and do it your way, we are doormats? If we want to do it our way, we are controlling? Someone should make up their mind! Personally, I try to find middle ground that works for both people. I like schedules and knowing what I'll be doing ahead of time. My INFP husband is laid back, you can call him on a Saturday afternoon at 7pm to see if he wants to do something at 8pm and he's fine with that. 90% of the time, I would turn down the invitation...I usually already have plans that I've made ahead of time. So I try to be more flexible and he tries to plan ahead. We are individuals, not labels. It's wrong to stereotype "ISFJ females" (or any other personality type and gender) into one category!

    Go ISFJs!!
    Alright lambchop! Well said. ISFJs!

  4. #84
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    It is very confusing .. that is probably why i know a lot of people, but don't have many people i call friends. Maybe just 1 now.

    Do you ever feel like you are living in the wrong time and place? That you seem out of place? That being traditional, kind and respectful is no longer viewed as good and honest?
    (apologies, getting a bit deep there. )
    I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    I know what you mean Saslou. Maybe that's why I like Jane Austin movies so much.
    Me too! I LOVE Jane Austen movies for the same reason! I so crave another author like her. If you know of any please let me know.

    That's partially why I come on here...it's nice to see other people see and do things the same way as me. It's also nice to learn things about other types, so I don't take things personally.
    Oh yes, that's the best part ... it's nice to see other people who are like me. I somehow sometimes still manage to take things other types say/do personally though, lol, but I've gotten a whole lot better since learning about types. I'm actually trying to forget about types now in real life because I'm finding myself wondering what type a person is when I meet them and typing makes me stereotype people and I don't like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    D@v3 told me and another about this test .. Give it a try, it is more suited to S's i think and gives positive affirmations about your personality.
    PersonalDNA | Your True Self Revealed - Fast Fun Free Personality Tests
    I came up as an encouraging designer. It mostly rang true. What are you? I am being nosy now
    That was a neat test. I got attentive builder.


    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    Alright lambchop! Well said. ISFJs!
    I liked that post too.

  5. #85
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Awww, bless you. There does seem to be a lot of miscommunication between the types. That is why places like this are good (and sometimes bad when people are hating :steam:, lol)

    Don't worry about the IQ tests, they are aimed at N's anyway, so we will mostly get lower scores. We are smarter in different ways. It's all good.
    D@v3 told me and another about this test .. Give it a try, it is more suited to S's i think and gives positive affirmations about your personality.
    PersonalDNA | Your True Self Revealed - Fast Fun Free Personality Tests
    I came up as an encouraging designer. It mostly rang true. What are you? I am being nosy now
    You are not nosy!! I am a generous designer. You, Giggly and I are all designers. Interesting. Mine is pretty accurate, but it says I have a high level of masculinity! I am EXTREMELY feminine. Pink is my favorite color! Thanks for sharing Saslou -- I like tests like that!!

  6. #86
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    More than anything, achievment in school does not define intelligence as much as type doesn't, so let's not be too quick at using that as proxy for anything.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #87
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way.
    Awww. I have been reading a great book (OK almost finished and i only got it yesterday, it is that good) 'Fuck it. The ultimate spiritual way' By John C. Parkin. It doesn't make you change what is .. Just your perspective on it. So i may feel lost and out of touch with the here and now. I am still going to live life though, and to the best of my ability. I have just changed my thinking.
    If you can, buy the book. I hope you will laugh as hard as i have. (It is not your common hippie/fluffy bunnies/higher power light stuff, this bloke is just a human being, saying it how it is. Perfect)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    You are not nosy!! I am a generous designer. You, Giggly and I are all designers. Interesting. Mine is pretty accurate, but it says I have a high level of masculinity! I am EXTREMELY feminine. Pink is my favorite color! Thanks for sharing Saslou -- I like tests like that!!
    Yayyy to designers. Oh no, your a pink lady :horor:. I am more of a red gal myself. Glad you enjoyed it.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #88
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Awww. I have been reading a great book (OK almost finished and i only got it yesterday, it is that good) 'Fuck it. The ultimate spiritual way' By John C. Parkin. It doesn't make you change what is .. Just your perspective on it. So i may feel lost and out of touch with the here and now. I am still going to live life though, and to the best of my ability. I have just changed my thinking.
    If you can, buy the book. I hope you will laugh as hard as i have. (It is not your common hippie/fluffy bunnies/higher power light stuff, this bloke is just a human being, saying it how it is. Perfect)



    Yayyy to designers. Oh no, your a pink lady :horor:. I am more of a red gal myself. Glad you enjoyed it.
    Sas, I want to read that book, it sounds great!

  9. #89
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Sas, I want to read that book, it sounds great!
    It is a bloody comical read and it is uplifting.
    If you can't get hold of the book although i am sure Amazon has many copies, if you PM me your address, i would gladly post it to you.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #90
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Do you ever feel like you are living in the wrong time and place? That you seem out of place? That being traditional, kind and respectful is no longer viewed as good and honest?
    Boo hoo. It's revenge time, mutha fuckas!

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