The weird thing is that from my perspective the ISFJs I love and my INTP hubby have a lot of good qualities in common. They are loyal, they are conscientious, they are steady, they are hard working, they may not be gushy, and might be a bit blunt, but they are very loving and affectionate in their own way. You can trust them to do what they say they will do.
But they are also very stubborn and a bit set in their ways and you just have to work with and around that. You throw them the bones they need and they aren't too hard to live with.
Every person has quirks you have to humor and every relationship takes some effort and compromise. Doesn't matter who you are with, they are going to do things that make you want to . . . do really bad things to them and you can rest assured there are going to be many, many times they will feel the same about you. You basically have to pick your poison. If you cannot live with the kinds of faults you are seeing in those you perceive to be ISFJs, try to find someone with similar good points and fewer of the flaws you dislike.