[ISFJ] Ask an ISFJ 1.0!

[Vasilisa]

Dear ISFJs,

My cherished ISFJ friend, co-worker, adviser has moved away. What should I do?

Also I would like to hear about your friendships with NFs and how you get on. How did/does distance impact those relationships?

 

[Halla74]

Dear ISFJs,

I have ZERO patience. I walk fast, talk fast, think fast, and drink fast. I do everything fast. I carry all my grocery bags into the house in one trip. I despise waiting. How would you recommend I develop patience?



-Halla

 

[JTG1984]

Dear ISFJs,

I have ZERO patience. I walk fast, talk fast, think fast, and drink fast. I do everything fast. I carry all my grocery bags into the house in one trip. I despise waiting. How would you recommend I develop patience?



-Halla

Take Ritalin or smoke marijuana.

 

[tinker683]

Dear ISFJs,

My cherished ISFJ friend, co-worker, adviser has moved away. What should I do?

Also I would like to hear about your friendships with NFs and how you get on. How did/does distance impact those relationships?

Not much you can do about your friend...so I'd just advise to find a way to stay in touch (Emails/IMs/Facebook/whatever) and maybe you guys can get together a couple times a year or something

As for NFs, I adore them! My first girlfriend was an ENFJ and I loved her dearly. She was really sweet and had this incredible desire to always try to help and be there for people. She is one of the most amazing human beings I know and I am extremely thankful that she was in my life.

Dear ISFJs,

I have ZERO patience. I walk fast, talk fast, think fast, and drink fast. I do everything fast. I carry all my grocery bags into the house in one trip. I despise waiting. How would you recommend I develop patience?

-Halla

The attitude I've always had is:

I don't see the use in getting worked up over things that just aren't very important or things that you just can't stop or prevent. All you're doing is burning up calories and working yourself into an ulcer, and for what? What does it benefit me? All I do is get really stressed out and that just sucks.

That being said, I hate waiting when I don't need too as well and while I can have the patience of death about some things, others I have none at all.

 

[Rainne]

Hi ISFJs.

What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)

 

[JTG1984]

Hi ISFJs.

What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)

I think I should maybe burn it.

 

[Halla74]

The attitude I've always had is:

I don't see the use in getting worked up over things that just aren't very important or things that you just can't stop or prevent. All you're doing is burning up calories and working yourself into an ulcer, and for what? What does it benefit me? All I do is get really stressed out and that just sucks.

I don't get worked up, or anywhere near having an ulcer, I just hate it.

I end up stressing other people out, not myself, maybe I'm not bad off after all?



-Halla

 

[Warm]

Okay, I have some questions.

Are ISFJs often naughty on the inside where no one else can see it?

I'm naughty on the Internet where no one I know in real life can see it.

Are they sort of rebellious behind the scenes when they are teens?

I rebelled by listening to music that my daddy didn't want me to listen to...while he wasn't around. LOL I also challenged my parents' view of the Bible because of my 12th grade English class.

Do most ISFJs marry young?

I got married when I was 29.

Do ISFJs always ignore advice to follow their hearts? Even when painful results are inevitable? How do you heal a relationship once you've irritated them?

I follow my heart and I don't irritate people to the point of not wanting to be around me. People usually get on MY nerves.

I keep hearing that ISFJs and ENTJs are supposed to be a match made in heaven do you find this is true?[/QUOTE]

 

[Warm]

Hi ISFJs.

What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)

"Ya know, I oughtta clean this up someday...Today is not that day." (Yes, I am a messy ISFJ.)

 

[Windigo]

Hi ISFJs, I didn't know you had a question-answering thread too...
Are you generally optimistic?

I'm asking this because the two ENTPs I know are extremely optimistic, to the point of sillyness. Also because I once (before I knew of MBTI) created a fiction character to be "my total opposite - he's shy, traditional, pessimistic..." and turned out afterwards to be an ISFJ too.

My ISFJ daughter is stubbornly optimistic and REFUSES to discuss what could go wrong. I found this extremely upsetting until I realized she was just covering up her fears of the future not working out? Is this typical?



Thank you Tinker, Giggly, and Warm. I'm digesting all of this. I have a lot of ISFJs in my life and I want to make our relationships better. And Warm, I actually meant what do I do to heal a relationship with an ISFJ I've wounded? I must admit, ISFJs seem the most forgiving of all the types.

Actually the ISFJs that I know have/have had an ENTJ SO or best friend now that I think about it. The attraction is definitely there. An ISFJ I know from high school has had her ENTJ boyfriend for about 5 years now; they live together now. My ISFJ great aunt's husband was an ENTJ when he was alive.

Hmmm . . . interesting. I wonder if it is the same for female ENTJs and male ISFJs? I'm still wondering if my first husband was ISFJ or ISFP?

Hi ISFJs.

What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)

My ISFJ daughter's tolerance lasts about 3 days. Then she cleans it. (Even if it's not hers. She used to organize the bathroom drawers on Saturday mornings while she waited for the family to get motivated! LOL!)

 

[Little Laura]

Okay, I have some questions.

Are ISFJs often naughty on the inside where no one else can see it?

Are they sort of rebellious behind the scenes when they are teens?

Do most ISFJs marry young?

Do ISFJs always ignore advice to follow their hearts? Even when painful results are inevitable? How do you heal a relationship once you've irritated them?

I keep hearing that ISFJs and ENTJs are supposed to be a match made in heaven do you find this is true?

First of all, I am a relatively naughty person. Most people do not expect it when they first meet me. Over time, people realize that I have a very dirty mind and sense of humour when it is the right time and place.

I was never rebellious as a teen. My sister kept me in my place more than my parents ever did. I once tried to become punk and people thought it was cute...not what I was going for. I think it's because my parents allowed me alot of freedom because they knew they could trust me and I understood the logic behind any stipulations they placed on me.

I am 23. I have no current plans on getting married. That being said, if my life had turned out differently I likely could have been married by now. For me, the way things are going, I'll be surprised if I am married by the time I am 30.

I do and don't follow my heart. Depends on what happens. I have followed my heart when it comes to love and this has had not so good results. ISFJs seem to give and give and give and when they finally give up and walk away...its a big deal. I often wonder if people realise what they lost when that happens. I tend to not follow my heart when it comes to more logical things - for example, as much as I loathe my job, I know it is something I need to do for now with the intention of it becoming better at some point.

I have never dated an ENTJ...so I couldn't tell you.

Hi ISFJs, I didn't know you had a question-answering thread too...
Are you generally optimistic?

I'm asking this because the two ENTPs I know are extremely optimistic, to the point of sillyness. Also because I once (before I knew of MBTI) created a fiction character to be "my total opposite - he's shy, traditional, pessimistic..." and turned out afterwards to be an ISFJ too.

It depends on the mood I am in. I can be ridiculously optimistic and hopeful. And then like a light switch I will believe that my world is coming to an end. Most people see the optimistic part....close people see the pessimistic part that is probably the bigger of the halves.

Dear ISFJs,

My cherished ISFJ friend, co-worker, adviser has moved away. What should I do?

Also I would like to hear about your friendships with NFs and how you get on. How did/does distance impact those relationships?

My best friend was an ENFP. I loved her to death. She went back to school and constantly wanted to talk and talk and talk. I was busy with school and life and work and didn't have time. She was hurt that I wouldn't make time for her and I was upset because I didn't understand why an occasional phone call wasn't sufficient. We eventually realised that we wanted very different things from the friendship while we were apart and as a result we have lost what we had. I don't expect the situation will ever be fixed and it is very sad.

Hi ISFJs.

What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)

Is that mine?
I adjust my cleanliness level to whoever I am living with or how busy I am. LOL

 

[Lambchop]

Okay, I have some questions.

Are ISFJs often naughty on the inside where no one else can see it?

Are they sort of rebellious behind the scenes when they are teens?

Do most ISFJs marry young?

Do ISFJs always ignore advice to follow their hearts? Even when painful results are inevitable? How do you heal a relationship once you've irritated them?

I keep hearing that ISFJs and ENTJs are supposed to be a match made in heaven do you find this is true?


Yes, definitely naughty on the inside!

I was definitely rebellious behind the scenes as a teen!

I married first when I was 19. I got divorced 3 year later and didn't get married again until more than 10 years later.

I'm not sure what the question is about following our hearts? I follow my heart when it makes sense. I do try to run all of my actions through my value system first.

With regard to ENTJs, NO match made in heaven for me! Ugghh. I know a few...but only one really well. I'm not particularly fond of them. They can be pushy and insensitive and overbearing. The one I do know really well I like, but it has taken years for us to get "close." I admire her ability to say what she thinks, she is kind of my hero that way. She's a great friend in that she's always there for me if I need something. I trust her. She is very loyal. But I know she sees me as overly sensitive. She thinks my husband and I (who is also an F) are too dependent on each other. Which is funny, because we are both fiercely independent people, but we are just very emotionally close. I've seen her cry once when a relative died, but otherwise she doesn't show much emotion. That's hard for me to relate to. I think she's very smart and I love that I can have intelligent conversations with her. I respect her views and opinions. I have never been able to successfully date a "T" male in the long term. My long term relationships have been with "F" males.

 

[Lambchop]

Also, I am a total pessimist. I worry alot.

With regard to the messy room, I can either block it out to "clean later" or my head will feel cluttered and I feel unproductive while it's messy. I admit that I like things neat and organized.

I live with an INFP and ISFP and understand that their environments don't bother them as much as mine does with regard to being clean. I love them both dearly and have learned not to be so anal, but I do find myself getting internally irritated at their lack of concern over the organization and cleanliness of their environment. I try not to criticize though, and if it bothers me, I will do something about it.

 

[FeatheredFrenzy]

I am LOVIN' this thread.

This way I don't have to chase you guys all over the forum trying to find out what you think about stuff. I think each of you are unique and interesting and kind of wonderful. Hopefully more ISFJs will be encouraged to join.

Keep it coming!

 

[Lambchop]

My best friend was an ENFP. I loved her to death. She went back to school and constantly wanted to talk and talk and talk. I was busy with school and life and work and didn't have time. She was hurt that I wouldn't make time for her and I was upset because I didn't understand why an occasional phone call wasn't sufficient. We eventually realised that we wanted very different things from the friendship while we were apart and as a result we have lost what we had. I don't expect the situation will ever be fixed and it is very sad.

Female ENFPs drive me nuts with their constant need to talk, the gushing insincere compliments of everyone, the need to jump from thing to thing without finishing anything....etc, etc. My sister in law is one and I cringe whenever I have to be around her.

I have a male ENFP friend that I adore. He does like to talk a lot, but he doesn't take offense if I'm not in the mood.

I would definitely say that other people irritate me more than vice versa. I have an ENFJ co-worker that I love who asked me if I dislike people more than I like them, because I don't like to waste my time and energy on having a lot of aquantainces (sp?). I am friendly, but quiet. I tend to observe people for awhile and suspend judgement on them until I've had time to analyze them. I think I am just picky with who I let into my "circle." If I let you in, I care unconditionally and I am a true blue friend. BUT, I detest small talk and arrogance and fake people, etc. It irritates me and I will shut down around it. My boss is an INTJ and I love working with him. He says what he thinks and I know he's never being fake with me and I don't have to make small talk with him. I have found that I typically get close to ENFJs and other ISFJs.

 

[Little Laura]

I would definitely say that other people irritate me more than vice versa. I have an ENFJ co-worker that I love who asked me if I dislike people more than I like them, because I don't like to waste my time and energy on having a lot of aquantainces (sp?). I am friendly, but quiet. I tend to observe people for awhile and suspend judgement on them until I've had time to analyze them. I think I am just picky with who I let into my "circle." If I let you in, I care unconditionally and I am a true blue friend. BUT, I detest small talk and arrogance and fake people, etc. It irritates me and I will shut down around it. .

I would have to agree with this...

 

[Windigo]

Thank you all who answered my questions. It makes me understand my ISFJs better.

 

[JTG1984]

Dear ISFJs,

Do you enjoy talking about yourselves?

 

[Warm]

Dear ISFJs,

Do you enjoy talking about yourselves?

I enjoy talking about myself, but I rarely get to because I am usually listening to others talk about themselves. I used to get upset about this, but then I realized that people in general are so starved for someone who will actually be attentive to them that they jump at the chance to pour their hearts out to a listener.

 

[ehastin1]

amen to post above. i wonder if all isfj's have realized this about people...including ourselves