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  1. #71
    Member Little Laura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    Okay, I have some questions.

    Are ISFJs often naughty on the inside where no one else can see it?

    Are they sort of rebellious behind the scenes when they are teens?

    Do most ISFJs marry young?

    Do ISFJs always ignore advice to follow their hearts? Even when painful results are inevitable? How do you heal a relationship once you've irritated them?

    I keep hearing that ISFJs and ENTJs are supposed to be a match made in heaven do you find this is true?
    First of all, I am a relatively naughty person. Most people do not expect it when they first meet me. Over time, people realize that I have a very dirty mind and sense of humour when it is the right time and place.

    I was never rebellious as a teen. My sister kept me in my place more than my parents ever did. I once tried to become punk and people thought it was cute...not what I was going for. I think it's because my parents allowed me alot of freedom because they knew they could trust me and I understood the logic behind any stipulations they placed on me.

    I am 23. I have no current plans on getting married. That being said, if my life had turned out differently I likely could have been married by now. For me, the way things are going, I'll be surprised if I am married by the time I am 30.

    I do and don't follow my heart. Depends on what happens. I have followed my heart when it comes to love and this has had not so good results. ISFJs seem to give and give and give and when they finally give up and walk away...its a big deal. I often wonder if people realise what they lost when that happens. I tend to not follow my heart when it comes to more logical things - for example, as much as I loathe my job, I know it is something I need to do for now with the intention of it becoming better at some point.

    I have never dated an ENTJ...so I couldn't tell you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Hi ISFJs, I didn't know you had a question-answering thread too...
    Are you generally optimistic?

    I'm asking this because the two ENTPs I know are extremely optimistic, to the point of sillyness. Also because I once (before I knew of MBTI) created a fiction character to be "my total opposite - he's shy, traditional, pessimistic..." and turned out afterwards to be an ISFJ too.
    It depends on the mood I am in. I can be ridiculously optimistic and hopeful. And then like a light switch I will believe that my world is coming to an end. Most people see the optimistic part....close people see the pessimistic part that is probably the bigger of the halves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Dear ISFJs,

    My cherished ISFJ friend, co-worker, adviser has moved away. What should I do?

    Also I would like to hear about your friendships with NFs and how you get on. How did/does distance impact those relationships?
    My best friend was an ENFP. I loved her to death. She went back to school and constantly wanted to talk and talk and talk. I was busy with school and life and work and didn't have time. She was hurt that I wouldn't make time for her and I was upset because I didn't understand why an occasional phone call wasn't sufficient. We eventually realised that we wanted very different things from the friendship while we were apart and as a result we have lost what we had. I don't expect the situation will ever be fixed and it is very sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    Hi ISFJs.

    What is your reaction when you see a messy room? (sleeping room)
    Is that mine?
    I adjust my cleanliness level to whoever I am living with or how busy I am. LOL
    "That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have."
    -Garden State

  2. #72
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Okay, I have some questions.

    Are ISFJs often naughty on the inside where no one else can see it?

    Are they sort of rebellious behind the scenes when they are teens?

    Do most ISFJs marry young?

    Do ISFJs always ignore advice to follow their hearts? Even when painful results are inevitable? How do you heal a relationship once you've irritated them?

    I keep hearing that ISFJs and ENTJs are supposed to be a match made in heaven do you find this is true?


    Yes, definitely naughty on the inside!

    I was definitely rebellious behind the scenes as a teen!

    I married first when I was 19. I got divorced 3 year later and didn't get married again until more than 10 years later.

    I'm not sure what the question is about following our hearts? I follow my heart when it makes sense. I do try to run all of my actions through my value system first.

    With regard to ENTJs, NO match made in heaven for me! Ugghh. I know a few...but only one really well. I'm not particularly fond of them. They can be pushy and insensitive and overbearing. The one I do know really well I like, but it has taken years for us to get "close." I admire her ability to say what she thinks, she is kind of my hero that way. She's a great friend in that she's always there for me if I need something. I trust her. She is very loyal. But I know she sees me as overly sensitive. She thinks my husband and I (who is also an F) are too dependent on each other. Which is funny, because we are both fiercely independent people, but we are just very emotionally close. I've seen her cry once when a relative died, but otherwise she doesn't show much emotion. That's hard for me to relate to. I think she's very smart and I love that I can have intelligent conversations with her. I respect her views and opinions. I have never been able to successfully date a "T" male in the long term. My long term relationships have been with "F" males.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Also, I am a total pessimist. I worry alot.

    With regard to the messy room, I can either block it out to "clean later" or my head will feel cluttered and I feel unproductive while it's messy. I admit that I like things neat and organized.

    I live with an INFP and ISFP and understand that their environments don't bother them as much as mine does with regard to being clean. I love them both dearly and have learned not to be so anal, but I do find myself getting internally irritated at their lack of concern over the organization and cleanliness of their environment. I try not to criticize though, and if it bothers me, I will do something about it.

  4. #74
    Senior Member FeatheredFrenzy's Avatar
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    I am LOVIN' this thread.

    This way I don't have to chase you guys all over the forum trying to find out what you think about stuff. I think each of you are unique and interesting and kind of wonderful. Hopefully more ISFJs will be encouraged to join.

    Keep it coming!


  5. #75
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Laura View Post


    My best friend was an ENFP. I loved her to death. She went back to school and constantly wanted to talk and talk and talk. I was busy with school and life and work and didn't have time. She was hurt that I wouldn't make time for her and I was upset because I didn't understand why an occasional phone call wasn't sufficient. We eventually realised that we wanted very different things from the friendship while we were apart and as a result we have lost what we had. I don't expect the situation will ever be fixed and it is very sad.

    Female ENFPs drive me nuts with their constant need to talk, the gushing insincere compliments of everyone, the need to jump from thing to thing without finishing anything....etc, etc. My sister in law is one and I cringe whenever I have to be around her.

    I have a male ENFP friend that I adore. He does like to talk a lot, but he doesn't take offense if I'm not in the mood.

    I would definitely say that other people irritate me more than vice versa. I have an ENFJ co-worker that I love who asked me if I dislike people more than I like them, because I don't like to waste my time and energy on having a lot of aquantainces (sp?). I am friendly, but quiet. I tend to observe people for awhile and suspend judgement on them until I've had time to analyze them. I think I am just picky with who I let into my "circle." If I let you in, I care unconditionally and I am a true blue friend. BUT, I detest small talk and arrogance and fake people, etc. It irritates me and I will shut down around it. My boss is an INTJ and I love working with him. He says what he thinks and I know he's never being fake with me and I don't have to make small talk with him. I have found that I typically get close to ENFJs and other ISFJs.

  6. #76
    Member Little Laura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post

    I would definitely say that other people irritate me more than vice versa. I have an ENFJ co-worker that I love who asked me if I dislike people more than I like them, because I don't like to waste my time and energy on having a lot of aquantainces (sp?). I am friendly, but quiet. I tend to observe people for awhile and suspend judgement on them until I've had time to analyze them. I think I am just picky with who I let into my "circle." If I let you in, I care unconditionally and I am a true blue friend. BUT, I detest small talk and arrogance and fake people, etc. It irritates me and I will shut down around it. .
    I would have to agree with this...
    "That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have."
    -Garden State

  7. #77
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    Thank you all who answered my questions. It makes me understand my ISFJs better.

  8. #78
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    Dear ISFJs,

    Do you enjoy talking about yourselves?

  9. #79
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JTG1984 View Post
    Dear ISFJs,

    Do you enjoy talking about yourselves?
    I enjoy talking about myself, but I rarely get to because I am usually listening to others talk about themselves. I used to get upset about this, but then I realized that people in general are so starved for someone who will actually be attentive to them that they jump at the chance to pour their hearts out to a listener.
    "Your voice is like chocolate...dreamy."
    --WildHorses

  10. #80
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    amen to post above. i wonder if all isfj's have realized this about people...including ourselves

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