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  1. #321
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Block her.

  2. #322
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Block her.
    lol! That's one strategy. You could continue to ignore her, block her, etc. If you think that's too harsh, then there are other methods. I personally have found that ignoring/deleting/blocking people who have been your friend in the past just makes that person more incessant...and at the very least, if she wants the truth, then she deserves it, right? I say, just tell her what's up. If I were you, I'd probably be like, "Dude, I know it's a tough time for you what with the pregnancy and all, and I have no desire to make your situation worse, but I've been feeling very disrespected and taken advantage of by you. And if things don't start to change, then it's going to mean the end of our friendship "

  3. #323
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    lol! That's one strategy. You could continue to ignore her, block her, etc. If you think that's too harsh, then there are other methods. I personally have found that ignoring/deleting/blocking people who have been your friend in the past just makes that person more incessant...and at the very least, if she wants the truth, then she deserves it, right? I say, just tell her what's up. If I were you, I'd probably be like, "Dude, I know it's a tough time for you what with the pregnancy and all, and I have no desire to make your situation worse, but I've been feeling very disrespected and taken advantage of by you. And if things don't start to change, then it's going to mean the end of our friendship "
    Yeah, that certainly is a strategy, but not one I'm comfortable with. Thank you @Tiltyred for your suggestion though. I just wouldn't want someone to ignore and treat me that way, especially since this woman and I have been friends for many years and I feel a moral obligation to handle this tactfully. I don't want to doorslam her because I want to move away from shutting people down because I didn't like something they did, didn't do, or said to me. I really do wish her happiness and I think at the very least we all need to get together for lunch and get her a gift for the baby.

    I know life has been a struggle for her and I've always been a supportive friend who listens, even if she often return the favor. We're all wired differently and I know she doesn't mean to be inconsiderate, that's just how she is. What makes all this more difficult is that I know she doesn't have many friends. In fact when we were discussing her baby shower last year she said another friend and I were her only friends. I think what she meant was that she felt she could tell us anything, without being judged harshly.

    Thanks again @Giggly and @Honor. I really do appreciate your advice.

  4. #324
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigerlily View Post
    Yeah, that certainly is a strategy, but not one I'm comfortable with. Thank you @Tiltyred for your suggestion though. I just wouldn't want someone to ignore and treat me that way, especially since this woman and I have been friends for many years and I feel a moral obligation to handle this tactfully. I don't want to doorslam her because I want to move away from shutting people down because I didn't like something they did, didn't do, or said to me. I really do wish her happiness and I think at the very least we all need to get together for lunch and get her a gift for the baby.

    I know life has been a struggle for her and I've always been a supportive friend who listens, even if she often return the favor. We're all wired differently and I know she doesn't mean to be inconsiderate, that's just how she is. What makes all this more difficult is that I know she doesn't have many friends. In fact when we were discussing her baby shower last year she said another friend and I were her only friends. I think what she meant was that she felt she could tell us anything, without being judged harshly.

    Thanks again @Giggly and @Honor. I really do appreciate your advice.
    This is actually very wise and kind of you to do but I think this will be a potentially tough road for you. Continuing to be the sound board for someone for such a lengthy (if not indefinite) period of time is emotionally draining and will eventually burn you out. Please do remember to tend to yourself first
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  5. #325
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    This is actually very wise and kind of you to do but I think this will be a potentially tough road for you. Continuing to be the sound board for someone for such a lengthy (if not indefinite) period of time is emotionally draining and will eventually burn you out. Please do remember to tend to yourself first
    Thank you I probably should have also added that I am going to keep my distance. I'm starting a new business soon, so that will be my reason for being unavailable, and at least it's truthful. She also knows I won't babysit as I told her early on that I wouldn't, so that won't be an issue.

    By the way, can I just say that SF's don't get nearly the they deserve! There's even an ESTJ in here with honest, good, sound advice!

  6. #326
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigerlily View Post
    Thank you I probably should have also added that I am going to keep my distance. I'm starting a new business soon, so that will be my reason for being unavailable, and at least it's truthful. She also knows I won't babysit as I told her early on that I wouldn't, so that won't be an issue.

    By the way, can I just say that SF's don't get nearly the they deserve! There's even an ESTJ in here with honest, good, sound advice!
    lol, yes, sorry for being the odd one out! I used to think I was an F but our chat on this thread confirms my suspicion that I am not.

  7. #327
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    No problem @Tigerlily

    I suggest you be busy.

    I have done this before and have had it done to me. It works.

  8. #328
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    ISFJs, how hard is it for you to let a person/relationship go? What helped you finally move on?

  9. #329
    WALMART
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    Are all ISFJ's the sexual workhorses I've perceived them to be?

    Does this derive from the pleasure gleaned from others being satisfied?

    Or was that one girl just a sexually like-minded individual?

  10. #330
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Where do I go to speak to ISFJ 2.0?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

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