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  1. #241
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    You're not creating a death ray to wipe out all the 50+ year olds are you? : D

    Lol I edited my original post.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  2. #242
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    You're not creating a death ray to wipe out all the 50+ year olds are you? : D
    Yes.

    (I'm kidding)

    Lol I edited my original post.
    I don't really know. :S

  3. #243
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Tell her how happy it makes you when she shops for herself.
    Start talking to her about hobbies she can adopt.
    My sis and I talked to her about hobbies. She said she just wants a couple of grandkids to keep her occupied...


    (Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............. )
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #244
    Member Space Socks's Avatar
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    Currently as an artist I don't see myself having children because it would be way too inconvenient for what I want to do and the efforts of my current investments would seem to go to waste. I have enough children in my family that I'm around and though I enjoy the kind of person they bring out in me, I still would not be want to have to manage my own despite the pressure of having good motherly qualities.

    So I'm curious if any other ISFJs are opposed to having children and are serious about it...?

    And if so, why?

    I'm about 99 percent sure I don't want to have children and any indecision in the future would likely drive me to consider trying foster care before anything else.
    I just want to float.

  5. #245
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    My sis and I talked to her about hobbies. She said she just wants a couple of grandkids to keep her occupied...


    (Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............. )
    lol

  6. #246
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    How should I help my ISFJ mom prepare for retirement? (It's still a couple of years to come, but she's dreading it because she will feel unneeded and useless, which will drive her crazy)

    She doesn't really have her own hobbies and she loves doing things for people, like when she's stressed out, she goes shopping for me I know it's very sweet, but I don't think it's ultimately healthy, because she needs to start doing things for herself too, you know...

    How about if you give her a dog?

    Grandchildren?


    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  7. #247
    Member Space Socks's Avatar
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    What is your morning routine like?
    I just want to float.

  8. #248
    Member herbpixie's Avatar
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    My mother is a lovely ISFJ. She's compassionate and kind, and she's basically all around wonderful. She also has a lot of difficulty understanding her poor weirdo INTP daughter (sisters are INFP and ISTJ). We have a very good relationship, but I am exceedingly bad at all of the traditional family stuff that she loves--such as remembering birthdays, calling frequently, etc. She has made a concerted effort to reach out to me in ways that I know are weird/unfamiliar to her. She actually learned to text and got on facebook because she knows how much I hate talking on the phone.

    Aside from more traditional things, which I don't think I will EVER be good at because I'm a space cadet when it comes to time/tradition, how can I make my ISFJ mother feel more appreciated/loved? Saying really touchy-feely things always seems strange, awkward, and fake to me, but I think maybe she needs that validation?

  9. #249
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbpixie View Post
    My mother is a lovely ISFJ. She's compassionate and kind, and she's basically all around wonderful. She also has a lot of difficulty understanding her poor weirdo INTP daughter (sisters are INFP and ISTJ). We have a very good relationship, but I am exceedingly bad at all of the traditional family stuff that she loves--such as remembering birthdays, calling frequently, etc. She has made a concerted effort to reach out to me in ways that I know are weird/unfamiliar to her. She actually learned to text and got on facebook because she knows how much I hate talking on the phone.

    Aside from more traditional things, which I don't think I will EVER be good at because I'm a space cadet when it comes to time/tradition, how can I make my ISFJ mother feel more appreciated/loved? Saying really touchy-feely things always seems strange, awkward, and fake to me, but I think maybe she needs that validation?
    Probably. I don't get why it feels fake though.

  10. #250
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbpixie View Post
    My mother is a lovely ISFJ. She's compassionate and kind, and she's basically all around wonderful. She also has a lot of difficulty understanding her poor weirdo INTP daughter (sisters are INFP and ISTJ). We have a very good relationship, but I am exceedingly bad at all of the traditional family stuff that she loves--such as remembering birthdays, calling frequently, etc. She has made a concerted effort to reach out to me in ways that I know are weird/unfamiliar to her. She actually learned to text and got on facebook because she knows how much I hate talking on the phone.

    Aside from more traditional things, which I don't think I will EVER be good at because I'm a space cadet when it comes to time/tradition, how can I make my ISFJ mother feel more appreciated/loved? Saying really touchy-feely things always seems strange, awkward, and fake to me, but I think maybe she needs that validation?
    I'm sure it's so much a need for validation in and of itself so much as a recognition of the things she values (which in this case is her family). I and I'm sure your ISFJ mother as well place a great deal of value on action and the more you do the further you'll go. These things are very important to her and as such anything you could do to show that you care, even something small, does count for something. You may need to sit down and talk with her and ask her what things she likes doing and if its a matter of remembering to do something then you may want to consider investing in some sort of reminder device or system that will do that for you.

    As far as the touchy feel stuff, I'm obviously not your mother nor am I every ISFJ but YES the touchy feel stuff is important to us! Lack of attention or affection is brutal to me. I expect it from my friends and even my brothers (whom I was never really close to to begin with) but from my family and my significant other (back when I had one) its massively important and really hurts me when I don't get it.

    I realize it feels contrived and maybe she'll need more from you than you're willing/capable of giving and thats something you'll have to work out. But I would like to say that the effort does count.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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