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  1. #171
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    What's the best way to cheer up an ISFJ when they're in a bleak situation?

  2. #172
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    from my experience do something that shows them that they're valued and appreciated, like take them out to lunch somewhere and then go let them pick out a new plant for their garden... it tends to work on my mom anyways
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #173
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    from my experience do something that shows them that they're valued and appreciated, like take them out to lunch somewhere and then go let them pick out a new plant for their garden... it tends to work on my mom anyways
    It's a little more bleak than that. It's not the 'I got dumped a day ago, I need a girl's night out' sort of thing, it's more like she doesn't know if she'll be able to talk or swallow again after this surgery she's getting on her thyroid...she seems to be much more worried about the scarring though.

  4. #174
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    my mom turned the scar across her neck into a joke about escaping a serial killer... I think she's spent too much time with my dad and me

    my sis made her some nice necklaces that would cover it though if she felt self conscious, and that made her happy

    just do something that shows that you're thinking of her!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #175
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    It's a little more bleak than that. It's not the 'I got dumped a day ago, I need a girl's night out' sort of thing, it's more like she doesn't know if she'll be able to talk or swallow again after this surgery she's getting on her thyroid...she seems to be much more worried about the scarring though.
    To go on what Whatever said, doing or saying something that says you really care about them is about the best thing. Unfortunately in a situation like this though it will definitely be tough to keep a smile on their face. Do try though, she will notice it and will appreciate it

    For me personally, if I'm really depressed or something, someone who was constantly there for me and dotting on me would be incredibly sweet and endearing, though I imagine I'd push them away after while because I'd start to feel guilty about her investing so much time into me.

    Quote Originally Posted by coconut
    I know an ISFJ, and I'd like to know if this is something that's part of being an ISFJ . . .

    In any discussion or topic, ISFJ relates it to self. Global warming becomes,"It was so hot that I just couldn't stay cool so I had to put on shorts and when I was little, we used to have really hot summers..."
    National health care becomes, "I had to go to the emergency room two years ago and it took four hours, and they gave me this antibiotic, and it gave me hives, and I used to get hives when I was little..."
    Child abuse becomes, "Once someone thought I was too harsh with my child and they told me so, and it hurt my feelings, and they shouldn't have hurt my feelings..."

    No topic is too big, too general, or too global to be turned into an opportunity to talk about how this person felt about some personal incident with even the slightest relation to the topic at hand. And, no, this isn't a person who's selfish; this is a very nice person who would give anything to anyone to be helpful.

    I like to talk about big picture generalities, and I get bored with trivialities; can I find some common ground with this ISFJ?
    Hmm...I know that I tend to relate to a particular topic with personal acedotes (see my response above for an example) as I feel that it adds context to the discussion. However, I always try to stay on topic. Global Warming, for example, I would have to remain objective on as I have no personal experience on the matter but for other topics like religion or politics, THOSE I have some personal experience on and could relate that somehow.

    Something you need to keep in mind with ISFJ's is that we are Si-doms, which means as we go through life and experience things we creatd databases in our heads about those experiences and when we encounter new or similar experiences, we compare it to what we've experienced and felt before.

    As such, we tend to relate to things personally because we're comparing them to past personal experiences.

    For example, ask me about politics and I'll tell you about how I've personally experienced the effects of certain policies or decisions made by government (As a property manager, I not only work in what is one of the most heavily regulated businesses, I have several tenants that receive some sort of assistance from the government).

    As my about religion, and I'll relate it to my own experience from being a fundamentalist Lutheran to becoming an atheist (what I am right now).

    For me, doing so puts the topic in the context of a real world situation which to me is a very practical thing to do as it makes it easier to understand (or so I think anyway, I'm sure others wouldn't feel the same way).
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  6. #176
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    What's the best way to cheer up an ISFJ when they're in a bleak situation?
    Without blatantly stating "Focus on the positive" which is too obvious and annoying to people, just redirect her focus to the positive things about it whenever she starts being down or negative. ISFJs can get into a negative downward spiral and that just needs to be interrupted before it gets out of hand.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I've been told that I do that, and I'm an ENFP. In fact, I think FPs do that because of dom or aux Fi. I think....? Is it Fi/Si loop in NFPs that may look like Si/Fe in SFJs?

    Sounds like an Fi/Si loop no matter who is doing it.
    I have seen all types do this.

  7. #177
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    hi isfjs

    saving a spot for later =)
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
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    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
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  8. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Hmm...I know that I tend to relate to a particular topic with personal acedotes (see my response above for an example) as I feel that it adds context to the discussion. However, I always try to stay on topic.
    Hmmm. So the tendency to move every topic to a personal experience isn't something that's inherent to all ISFJ's? I wonder if my ISFJ has more dominant Si than most? If a topic can't be applied to a personal memory or ccircumstance, my ISFJ gets flustered.

  9. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post



    Sounds like an Fi/Si loop no matter who is doing it.
    I have seen all types do this.
    I must live in an Fi/Si loop 50-75% of the time, then.

  10. #180
    All Natural! All Good!
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    ISFJs, what is a good description of Si (online preferred) that you can relate to? Thanks!

    I just asked the ISTJs as well, so/and don't feel obligated to answer if you can't find anything.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?


    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator


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