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  1. #51
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    What's with ESFJ's not wanting anyone to "encroach on their territory" in a group setting? For instance, I know an ESFJ at work who is the best at what she does. Well, she's the only one who does it, so she doesn't have any competition. But, people need her because she is the only one who can do these things. But, then the boss man trained me to do these same things (because he wanted 2 people to know how to do them), and I became "just as good as she is". Oooooooooo, she gives me the scowl, the evil eye, the old "cold shoulder" .

    Right after that, she didn't seem to like me much. Everything was fine before then, but now I don't think I'm her favorite person. It's like she tries to be competetive with me - almost like she tries to be mean - and I just keep doing my job , because, well, that's what I'm paid to do. Why so territorial? Why so stuffy in those situations? Why does it matter that someone else is just as good as you at your job? Afterall, we're on the same team, trying to accomplish the same goal? We should cooperate and work together. Or am I just dealing with a so-called "unhealthy ESFJ"?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


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  2. #52
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    What's with ESFJ's not wanting anyone to "encroach on their territory" in a group setting? For instance, I know an ESFJ at work who is the best at what she does. Well, she's the only one who does it, so she doesn't have any competition. But, people need her because she is the only one who can do these things. But, then the boss man trained me to do these same things (because he wanted 2 people to know how to do them), and I became "just as good as she is". Oooooooooo, she gives me the scowl, the evil eye, the old "cold shoulder" .

    Right after that, she didn't seem to like me much. Everything was fine before then, but now I don't think I'm her favorite person. It's like she tries to be competetive with me - almost like she tries to be mean - and I just keep doing my job , because, well, that's what I'm paid to do. Why so territorial? Why so stuffy in those situations? Why does it matter that someone else is just as good as you at your job? Afterall, we're on the same team, trying to accomplish the same goal? We should cooperate and work together. Or am I just dealing with a so-called "unhealthy ESFJ"?
    I believe you've got an unhealthy ESFJ on your hands! Currently, I am the only person who handles my position, and I would gladly welcome one other person having my knowledge! As it stands now, I feel guilty when I take a vacation and feel like I've constantly got to have my phone on me so I can forward emails to the correct people!!! :sad:

    In addition.... Even someone I don't care much for, I'm nice to, so I've never gone out of my way to be mean to anyone before.

  3. #53
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I really don't think this about being an ESFJ.

    I've noticed at work people like to create job security by being the only one who knows how to do their job. It makes them more valuable, unless a savvy manager realizes this is not the best way to do business.

    The reaction you're seeing is a typical defensive reaction to the threat of losing job security. I think this is very common, especially in this economic climate. Like I said, I don't think it's type related because I've seen people of all types do this.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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  4. #54
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Jeffster is polluting the SJ forums.


  5. #55
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    It's nice to come into the SJ section and there be something about ESFJ's which i can reply to



    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    The best example of ESFJ that I know in my life is the rebelious ski-bunny jack-of-all-trades that I call "grandma". Yes her house is next to imaculate, when she gets the time, and cooks all kinds of wonderful things; but she still is one of the few women I'll trust with an axe and was both my first ski and swimming teacher. She was brought up outside, eldest of three, her siblings are two boys, and spent half her life on the water. She's been a mother and a swimming instructor back in the 60s and 70s, as well as a mix of substitute teacher, town councillor, and civil servant. I count myself lucky to have been born when she was in her late 30s and wouldn't give her up for anything.

    Gooey and nice? More like a gruffly sweet and nice. Non-intellectual? While her peers were parading at the universities she was stacking up cred that got her into municipal government for a term or two with requests for her to run for mayor. 50s housewife? LOLROFLCOPTER with bathtub napalm!
    Awww .. Thank you for adding to that. I relate to the rebelious jack-of-all-trades .. I'm quite good for a girly
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #56
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Awww .. Thank you for adding to that. I relate to the rebelious jack-of-all-trades .. I'm quite good for a girly
    She's mid 60s now and still won't sit down unless she's eating or doing geneology research on the net. I loveses my grandma.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  7. #57
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    She's mid 60s now and still won't sit down unless she's eating or doing geneology research on the net. I loveses my grandma.
    Sit whilst eating .. What a disgrace, multi task By that age i hope i'll be able to take things a little slower. Lol

    It's sweet you love your grandma .. I don't have one.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #58
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Sit whilst eating .. What a disgrace, multi task By that age i hope i'll be able to take things a little slower. Lol

    It's sweet you love your grandma .. I don't have one.
    I still have both plus two great-grandmothers. I was lucky though, I was born in a generationally young family and thus had both grandmothers, both grandfathers, great-grandmothers, two great-grandfathers, and two great-great-grandparents. I have a picture that has 5 generations of males from back when I was little - even my dad is jealous.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #59
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    Jeffster is polluting the SJ forums.
    Nuh uh.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  10. #60
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Which type am I supposed to be dating, as an ESFJ?
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

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