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  1. #21
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I don't bother talking/starting threads about ESFJ's anymore because we are seen (i perceive) as gooey, nice and non-intellectual. I am thinking 50's housewife.


    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    then, real ESFJ, I have a question...

    ... most of the real ESFJs I have as close friends end conversations with "Love ya!" or similar sentiments of love... I've never even said that to my own sister! What is the proper response for a cold hearted ESTP bastard in such a situation? (ok... one who values the friendship and wants to KEEP the ESFJ friend!)
    I never end a conversation with love ya (I feel uncomfortable with people hugging me unless i know them well) .. An ENTP friend sent me a message recently and ended it with Love love .. I replied with the same.

    My brother (ESTP) ends our conversations with 'I'll be back' or 'Look at these muscles' with a German accent and does the pose .. I just laugh, say 'later' .. Then close the door.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #22
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    How would you contrast yourself with a female ESFJ and a male ESTJ?
    I don't know too many female ESFJ's, but I would imagine that they would be similar in superficial aspects (sociable, tradition-oriented, leading informal groups). However, the "mothering" aspect of a female personality like that is probably dissimilar to me. I have a direct/forceful/intense side to my personality that is more stereotypically "male." I guess you could call that the "fatherly" side of the ESFJ type. However, I also have the gladhanding, salesman-y side of my personality, too. I have a very highly-tuned way with words and communication, and I have no problem at all speaking in front of small crowds or large amounts of people (although I need preparation for crowds). ESTJ males seem to me to be more dogmatic and traditional, with perhaps a greater facility for leadership and top-down decision making (the "executive" or "drill sergeant" mentality). Anyone else want to chime in?
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  3. #23
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Oh oh I would love to see the real ESFJ's answer questions. I hope this thread draws more ESFJ's too!

    I'm tempted to start an "Ask an ISFJ" thread too but I know JTG will just tell everyone to fuck off. lol

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Oh oh I would love to see the real ESFJ's answer questions. I hope this thread draws more ESFJ's too!

    I'm tempted to start an "Ask an ISFJ" thread too but I know JTG will just tell everyone to fuck off. lol
    GO FOR IT! I'll try to be nice.

  5. #25
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I don't bother talking/starting threads about ESFJ's anymore because we are seen (i perceive) as gooey, nice and non-intellectual. I am thinking 50's housewife.
    That's not at all how I perceive them, people-orientated, action-orientated and chatterboxes sure but gooey, nice and non-intellectual not-a-one-bit, kay maybe nice but definitely not gooey or non-intellectual. My view of ESFJs fit closer to what pure_mercury said, the mix of the direct, forceful and intense with a salesman-y side, wish there were more around here to give a more accurate depiction of what ya'll are like in the wild.

  6. #26
    Member lookingglassworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    I don't know too many female ESFJ's, but I would imagine that they would be similar in superficial aspects (sociable, tradition-oriented, leading informal groups). However, the "mothering" aspect of a female personality like that is probably dissimilar to me. I have a direct/forceful/intense side to my personality that is more stereotypically "male." I guess you could call that the "fatherly" side of the ESFJ type. However, I also have the gladhanding, salesman-y side of my personality, too. I have a very highly-tuned way with words and communication, and I have no problem at all speaking in front of small crowds or large amounts of people (although I need preparation for crowds). ESTJ males seem to me to be more dogmatic and traditional, with perhaps a greater facility for leadership and top-down decision making (the "executive" or "drill sergeant" mentality). Anyone else want to chime in?
    Sounds exactly like my husband!! LOL Every last bit of it!! I love him to death but he drives me up a friggin' tree sometimes!!!:steam:
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  7. #27
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    I'll try again...

    What is it like to have a dominant Fe? Does it make you good at socializing? Did you ever feel like you're a misfit Introvert eg at a work party?

    What's the best way to thank an ESFJ? I do the small things like saying thanks or complimenting on food, but is there a good way to make someone feel special/appreciated?
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  8. #28
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I don't bother talking/starting threads about ESFJ's anymore because we are seen (i perceive) as gooey, nice and non-intellectual. I am thinking 50's housewife.
    and that's so wrong! Most of the ESFJ ladies I know are smart, capable, driven and have a delightfully silly and fun side that they know WHEN to let out... they also have some weird ESP thing going on and can always hunt you down and make you go out for the evening if you probably need a break Also rather generous and loyal

    I never end a conversation with love ya (I feel uncomfortable with people hugging me unless i know them well) .. An ENTP friend sent me a message recently and ended it with Love love .. I replied with the same.

    My brother (ESTP) ends our conversations with 'I'll be back' or 'Look at these muscles' with a German accent and does the pose .. I just laugh, say 'later' .. Then close the door.
    Oh nooo! I end conversations with "I'll be back!" a la Arnold all of the time
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #29
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    and that's so wrong! Most of the ESFJ ladies I know are smart, capable, driven and have a delightfully silly and fun side that they know WHEN to let out... they also have some weird ESP thing going on and can always hunt you down and make you go out for the evening if you probably need a break Also rather generous and loyal
    I agree! Totally.

  10. #30
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    I don't know too many female ESFJ's, but I would imagine that they would be similar in superficial aspects (sociable, tradition-oriented, leading informal groups). However, the "mothering" aspect of a female personality like that is probably dissimilar to me. I have a direct/forceful/intense side to my personality that is more stereotypically "male." I guess you could call that the "fatherly" side of the ESFJ type. However, I also have the gladhanding, salesman-y side of my personality, too. I have a very highly-tuned way with words and communication, and I have no problem at all speaking in front of small crowds or large amounts of people (although I need preparation for crowds). ESTJ males seem to me to be more dogmatic and traditional, with perhaps a greater facility for leadership and top-down decision making (the "executive" or "drill sergeant" mentality). Anyone else want to chime in?
    Oooh that was right on the money. That's how I perceive ESFJ's too.

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