I am new around here and this is actually my first post. I used to peruse the forum anonymously until today when I decided to make a dive and ask a question.
I am a female ISTJ in my early 30s who has had her share of troubles when it comes to interpersonal office relationships. I have always viewed work for what it is: WORK. I don't go there to make new friends; I already have all the friends I need.
The way I see things is that I am hired to do a job and that's what I intend to do. I am not interested:
- in talking about my private life: it's personal and it should remain like that way
- in adding my 2 cents to the office gossip: what's the point of that, anyway?
- in pretending to be interested in the personal life of my coworkers: you're colleagues and not my friends
- in necessarily becoming friends with my coworkers: you don't have to be chummy with someone to accomplish great things
- in flattering egos: if you feel insecure, go see a therapist or sue your parents. Please, do not expect me to put up with your insecurities, I wasn't hired for that.
I have had experienced moral harassment from my bosses, my colleagues because I don't play office politics. I am polite, I like to help people, I am a firm believer of the golden rule but it seems that it is never enough because I don't have the flock mentality. I really don't understand why some offices are crowded with people who are more concerned by how beautiful you'd find their dresses or new Iphones instead of how great you think they did on the last project. It's work and not a lick-your-longtime-wounded-ego hospital.
I've even come to dread the interpersonal skills question during job interviews since I hate pretending that my main goal in life and to look for a job is to become friends with my coworkers. It seems irrelevant to me.
I would like to know if this is only me (maybe I am a cold-hearted person after all) or have other ISTJs here experienced the same critics? How did you deal with the situation?
Thanks in advance for your contribution.