User Tag List

Results 1 to 7 of 7

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    13

    Default ESTJ trying to understand ISFJ

    I have a colleague (let's call her Laura) who I think must be an ISFJ. She's logical, organised, a hard worker and a "nice person", but I find her quite hard to understand. She seems very sensitive to not being liked and not being respected, and she's taken against another colleague (Alison) in a dreadful way, that's causing lots of problems in the team. I am beginning to think Laura must keep a spreadsheet of every time Alison does something which might possibly be perceived as an insult; the most minor thing just becomes more "proof" that Alison doesn't respect her.

    I want to shake her and tell her to stop being so unreasonable and to get some perspective, but I think that's probably NOT the best way of dealing with her. The problem is that I am an ESTJ and our other colleagues are all men, so they just see the whole thing as some "woman" thing, and don't feel inclined to do anything about it.

    ISFJs - WDYT? If you were feeling that someone was out to get you or hated you, what would be the best thing for your colleagues to do to make you feel better or help you move on?

    If you were trying to explain to me the difference between an ESTJ and an ISFJ, how would you do it?

    Thanks all; you might just save our working relationship if I can sort this one out....
    Female ESTJ

  2. #2
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,335

    Default

    Is Alison aware of this behaviour?
    Is she intentionally trying to antagonise Laura?

    If Yes to the first question and No to the second question. Then it's probably best to get her to confront Alison about it and destroy this idea of about being disrespectful. Focus on resolution rather than blame (shaking method) since it's more likely to have a better effect.

    If you know Laura personally, then you could get her to confront Alison and ask what's happening. Rather than leaving her to assume things about the other individual.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Is Alison aware of this behaviour? Almost certainly not
    Is she intentionally trying to antagonise Laura? Don't think so, though I'm not sure she likes her very much.

    I do know Laura fairly well, but she won't confront Alison (we've tried).

    <sigh>

    Aren't people weird?
    Female ESTJ

  4. #4
    Member Rachel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    INFX
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    72

    Default

    I'd love to hear more responses about this because i know an ISFJ who is in a similar situation to the one the OP describes.

  5. #5
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,591

    Default

    My male coworker is an ESFJ...he's so funny. Within the last 20 minutes another guy lost and recovered his wallet in someone else's car. The whole time the guy was like "I feel so bad for him- he'll have to cancel his credit cards, get a new license, etc, etc, etc..." LOL

  6. #6
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    What type is the Alison person?

  7. #7
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    Hype
    Posts
    2,078

    Default

    I don't see what you're not understanding about isfjs?

    the ISFJ feels undervalued, but like most of her kin, she doesn't want to rock the boat. Nor make a new boat, or fix the current boat. She just doesn't want to make it WORSE, and in her mind, confronting her will make it worse.

    I like where Pitsel is going with this. What type is Alison? I would try to have Alison behave more amiably towards Laura, or simply let her know that she really is affected by her. "Laura's having a tough time here and needs your help" or something.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Fi and Fe: Trying to Understand and Illustrate the Difference (in my head)
    By VagrantFarce in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-24-2010, 12:38 AM
  2. [MBTItm] INTJ: trying to understand my ISTJ friend
    By Glass Forest in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-06-2010, 01:13 PM
  3. [ENFP] INTJ trying to understand an ENFP's actions (PART 2)
    By thescientist in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 71
    Last Post: 09-04-2009, 12:03 AM
  4. [ENFP] INTJ trying to understand an ENFP's actions
    By thescientist in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 154
    Last Post: 08-30-2009, 04:58 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO