[MBTI General] ISTJs Explained By ISTJs: Post your questions here!

[IZthe411]

And I'm not one of those guys who can talk sports all day. I get tired of talking about stats, who is the best, and all of that. Mabye back and forth for 2 minutes, but after that it's on to the next for me.

 

[Vasilisa]

Thanks for your responses! I was just wondering if maybe ISTJs felt compelled to be physically active for their mental/emotional well-being. Maybe that doesn't relate to type. And obviously organized sports isn't the only way to do that. But I was wondering if organized sports are particularly appealing to ISTJs.

As far as greeting cards I was curious if ISTJs saw them as superfluous and unnecessary.

So thanks for the feedback.

 

[Cimarron]

Sports = too much Se for me. Too many split-second reactions to handle at once. Also, getting involved in the "friendly" competition of physical sports often leads me to...feel defensive and angry at them, as if they're picking on me. It's a weird reaction, and I'm not sure how to explain it. I've seen it happen to other people, too, so at least I'm not the only one.

Going to stadium games rubs me the wrong way as well. Thousands of people crowded together, expecting you to act a certain way and do certain things, and laughing at you as a weirdo if you don't...

So that sounds kind of cranky. Those are just my bad moments, and sports and I don't much get along.

Greetings cards can be okay, but I like them to be personal. Otherwise, they are a waste, almost a lie: They have to be genuine to be good, in my book. Sending a Thank-You card to someone because they attended a graduation, even though I don't really know or care much for the person, is dishonest and forced.

 

[StoryToTell]

It seems ISTJs have quite strong emotions. Would you guys say that they are invoked in moments of nostalgia? Times when people are particularly charitable to you? Sad stories?

How inclined towards theoretical discussion are ISTJs? (I made a thread but I think it got deleted.) Like, if you really cared about the person and they were always bringing up philosophical discussions and speculations and the like, how would you respond? Would you find it an interesting change of pace or somewhat tiresome?

 

[OrangeAppled]

What makes you decide to pursue someone romantically?

I've had the experience of ISTJs deciding we were a good match (on paper...?) and doggedly hunting me down and sinking their teeth in like a pitbull, refusing to let go even as I ran. What causes such a strong determination? Is it because the facts don't lie?

I've also had the feeling of being watched by ISTJs, as if they were gathering data about me to decide if they wanted to begin the chase. Is this an accurate estimation?

Or rather, I am not asking you to explain those individual's behaviors so much as discuss if you have any trace of them and how that may relate to your type.

And what is your reaction to INFPs? I notice some like me immediately, quirks & all. Others just find me an enigma and steer clear.

 

[cafe]

I am starting to think my older boy (13) is an ISTJ. I often feel bad for him because his dad, his three siblings, and I all appear to be INs. It's like he's being raised by wolves or something.

He doesn't like to learn just for the sake of learning. He will learn all kinds of detailed stuff and remember it all if it has a practical application (video games for instance), but if it doesn't, then it has no value.

He doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything like go to see a movie or just hang out. He wants to stay home and play video games.

He does pretty well in school because he's smart and he usually likes to complete things once he's started them.

Following rules is important to him. He tries to make sure that he knows the rules and he likes to point out when other people are not following the rules.

His sense of humor is really goofy and he often doesn't know when to quit once he gets going.

He needles people, won't stop when asked, then gets his feelings hurt when they get angry with him.

He is a little Eeorish, but very even tempered. It is very, very rare that he loses his temper.

He has trouble accepting the opinions of others as being valid if they differ from his own.

He is a good boy, liked at school by both students and teachers. He will complain, argue, and try to distract me, but is otherwise pretty obedient (all of our kids are, actually).

Anyway, I feel as though I am not parenting him the way he needs to be parented, but I don't know what I need to do differently.

Suggestions for parenting a late-blooming ISTJ 13 y/o boy being raised among crazy INs (if that is actually his type)?

 

[raz]

I am starting to think my older boy (13) is an ISTJ. I often feel bad for him because his dad, his three siblings, and I all appear to be INs. It's like he's being raised by wolves or something.

He doesn't like to learn just for the sake of learning. He will learn all kinds of detailed stuff and remember it all if it has a practical application (video games for instance), but if it doesn't, then it has no value.

He doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything like go to see a movie or just hang out. He wants to stay home and play video games.

He does pretty well in school because he's smart and he usually likes to complete things once he's started them.

Following rules is important to him. He tries to make sure that he knows the rules and he likes to point out when other people are not following the rules.

His sense of humor is really goofy and he often doesn't know when to quit once he gets going.

He needles people, won't stop when asked, then gets his feelings hurt when they get angry with him.

He is a little Eeorish, but very even tempered. It is very, very rare that he loses his temper.

He has trouble accepting the opinions of others as being valid if they differ from his own.

He is a good boy, liked at school by both students and teachers. He will complain, argue, and try to distract me, but is otherwise pretty obedient (all of our kids are, actually).

Anyway, I feel as though I am not parenting him the way he needs to be parented, but I don't know what I need to do differently.

Suggestions for parenting a late-blooming ISTJ 13 y/o boy being raised among crazy INs (if that is actually his type)?

If I were 13, and I were able to describe the perfect parent, I'd say:

Be approachable, but not overbearing. The more overbearing you are, the less approachable and trustable you are.

Let me know what's expected of me, but be understanding of natural things that I'll want or need to take part in. I want to know my boundaries, but I don't want to feel confined when I have an urge to do something less respectable.

When telling me what to do, or what's expected of me, only supply information and options. I highly value my ability to sift through information and make my own decisions. I got into a fight with my ESFP brother over this when buying a phone. He wanted to go into salesperson mode when all I wanted to know were my options in a "cold, calculating" fashion, so that I could make my own decision swiftly and end the decision making process.

Respect my ability to quickly learn methods and technical things. Most of the time, I just want to be taught how to do something, not patronized for the whole, "it's a mother's role to do this job," such as chores, or anything.

If I ask a lot of questions about something, please listen. I always want information first about something that's happening. If I'm dissecting the crap out of something, and I'm expecting you to partake in the dissecting, at least listen or offer your knowledge, do not tell me to stop over-analyzing. Odds are, I'm sincere about the dissecting.

 

[IZthe411]

Raz's ideas are great!

When telling me what to do, or what's expected of me, only supply information and options. I highly value my ability to sift through information and make my own decisions. I got into a fight with my ESFP brother over this when buying a phone. He wanted to go into salesperson mode when all I wanted to know were my options in a "cold, calculating" fashion, so that I could make my own decision swiftly and end the decision making process.

Agree here. I'd rather get factual information and options; only if I ask for your opinion will I ask.

Respect my ability to quickly learn methods and technical things. Most of the time, I just want to be taught how to do something, not patronized for the whole, "it's a mother's role to do this job," such as chores, or anything.

I'll say here that some, not all instances, I'll want the how. But there are other times I'll want the why as well as the how- to help me see if there's another (read: better) way to do it.

If I ask a lot of questions about something, please listen. I always want information first about something that's happening. If I'm dissecting the crap out of something, and I'm expecting you to partake in the dissecting, at least listen or offer your knowledge, do not tell me to stop over-analyzing. Odds are, I'm sincere about the dissecting.

EXCELLENT

During my teenage years, I became withdrawn because I seemed to irriate people with my questions and desire to really sink into the depths of something. My older brother and father I feel are ISTJs, but my other sibs are not- so sometimes I felt like an outcast. I got over that as I got older and got some experience outside of my large family. It's funny how we have come full circle. I love hanging with my sibs now.

 

[2XtremeENFP]

How do you get an ISTJ to become interested in MB?

 

[IZthe411]

It seems ISTJs have quite strong emotions. Would you guys say that they are invoked in moments of nostalgia? Times when people are particularly charitable to you? Sad stories?

How inclined towards theoretical discussion are ISTJs? (I made a thread but I think it got deleted.) Like, if you really cared about the person and they were always bringing up philosophical discussions and speculations and the like, how would you respond? Would you find it an interesting change of pace or somewhat tiresome?

I do have strong emotions....it's either all or nothing with them. Woe is me.

They aren't just limited to those times. I notice that as I get older, I'm more apt to be emotionally affected by things. Not extreme, and if you were right next to me you'd probably not notice, but I get a feeling sometimes, esp when there's bad news or a sad story and there are 2 or more senses involved (i.e. hearing a story on TV and seeing some graphic images).

I remember your thread, and it did get deleted by when the site went down the other afternoon. I'd say if your guy liked a certain theory, he'd read up on it and know it well. He might not be open to other theories, or feel the need to beat it to death. I think I'm like that. I like MBTI, but sometimes the theory talk goes in so many directions I begin to lose interest. It's like everyone's talking a lot of speculation, but nothing concrete.

So if you are discussing the particular theory, he's probably responsive. But the minute it starts to bounce all over the place, he's likely to lose interest. He can love you, but to talk random theory can be a burden on him.

I remember reading your thread and you sounded disappointed that he could be ISTJ. Is that the case?

 

[StoryToTell]

That makes sense. He really loves music theory, I know that. But I'm a textbook enneagram 5 and I don't much like discussing it because it's something I really like as well, but don't pick up on as quickly as he does.

I was surprised. He doesn't care about school much and has always dressed "alternatively" (dyed hair, dark clothes), he likes weird music, is rather disdainful towards teachers, is indecisive, doesn't really have a plan for his future, etc. I never even considered ISTJ. Like I said in my thread, I thought eventually he'd open up and we could have those kinds of conversations. We are similar in many ways, so I jumped the gun and assumed I understood him really well (such as instances where we "disconnect." Not from each other but the external world). I miscalculated and it was foolish to assume I could categorize him like that, but it was still strange, you know?

Also, what do you guys base your self-worth on? What indicates to you that you are doing well in life?

 

[IZthe411]

That makes sense. He really loves music theory, I know that. But I'm a textbook enneagram 5 and I don't much like discussing it because it's something I really like as well, but don't pick up on as quickly as he does.

I was surprised. He doesn't care about school much and has always dressed "alternatively" (dyed hair, dark clothes), he likes weird music, is rather disdainful towards teachers, is indecisive, doesn't really have a plan for his future, etc. I never even considered ISTJ. Like I said in my thread, I thought eventually he'd open up and we could have those kinds of conversations. We are similar in many ways, so I jumped the gun and assumed I understood him really well (such as instances where we "disconnect." Not from each other but the external world). I miscalculated and it was foolish to assume I could categorize him like that, but it was still strange, you know?

Also, what do you guys base your self-worth on? What indicates to you that you are doing well in life?

All ISTJs aren't put together and ready for the world as some descriptions point them out to be. Just like other types they can go through school hating it, just like other types. And be confused as to what they want to do with their life. If school's not their thing, they'll appear just like any other type.

Your guy might be like me. I'm ISTJ, but there are traits about me where you'd think I'm not. But when it comes down to it, I'm closely aligned to that description, especially under times of stress.

Self worth is subjective to ISTJs like everyone else. It's usually underscored by duty and handlin business, and being reliable. But it all depends on the person.

 

[IZthe411]

What makes you decide to pursue someone romantically?

I've had the experience of ISTJs deciding we were a good match (on paper...?) and doggedly hunting me down and sinking their teeth in like a pitbull, refusing to let go even as I ran. What causes such a strong determination? Is it because the facts don't lie?

I've also had the feeling of being watched by ISTJs, as if they were gathering data about me to decide if they wanted to begin the chase. Is this an accurate estimation?

Or rather, I am not asking you to explain those individual's behaviors so much as discuss if you have any trace of them and how that may relate to your type.

And what is your reaction to INFPs? I notice some like me immediately, quirks & all. Others just find me an enigma and steer clear.

I have to be attracted to them physically and there has to be something about their personality that grabs me. I'm smitten to ExFx types, but I can be drawn to an IxFx as well.

When I like something, I go for it. I'll admit I've been obsessed before and it wasn't a good look. ISTJs can get so focused on something that everything else takes backseat- especially in stress or lust LOL

My ENTP coworker tells me I analyze too much. I do. Most of the time it's not stalking, it's that I usually observe people around me. So if you are in my vicinity, I'm probably studying you, Doesn't mean I have an interest in you, though. I'm just fascinated by the behavior of people. And since I've learned MBTI sometimes I'm trying to type people. So don't assume the guy's trying to get at you all the time- he might not be.

But being that you are an IxFP, he probably could be taken in by your mystique. . Unless you are ticking like you have tourette's, you probably aren't coming off strange. I only know one INFP, and it's a guy. I used to think he was gay- but once I learned his type I let that go. So I don't know if I've met an INFP girl, but I dated an ISFP so I know you'd get my attention.

 

[IZthe411]

How do you get an ISTJ to become interested in MB?

That's hard. You'd probably have to have to demonstrate what's in it for him. Maybe read your description to him, and see if he agrees with it. Are you sure that he's ISTJ? Not sure if you had him take the test or not. Then maybe you can share his profile with him.

 

[gromit]

You might have answered this somewhere before, and if so, I apologize, but why do you have your type listed as XXXX?

 

[Habba]

You might have answered this somewhere before, and if so, I apologize, but why do you have your type listed as XXXX?

XXX just ain't enough.

 

[IZthe411]

XXX just ain't enough.

 

[IZthe411]

You might have answered this somewhere before, and if so, I apologize, but why do you have your type listed as XXXX?

I'm just that bad!

Furreal, there's no reason. You can put whatever you want in that space.

 

[raz]

My type lately is MNIC

 

[Craft]

I have a question.

I understand that your main cognitive function Si. Does that imply that you seek to fit in? But as an Introvert, does it work? It's as if you're goal is the same cause of disadvantage.