[MBTI General] ISTJs Explained By ISTJs: Post your questions here!

[Moiety]

lol... I have an ENFP friend who's married to an ISTJ and has been for the past 20 years... they're quite happy together!

Meh, long marriages don't impress me really. I've got enough of those in my own family. Commitment doesn't imply happiness really. How do you know they are happy? Not saying they can't be of course...but as an ENFP marrying to a TJ sounds very counter intuitive. Fi is in direct opposition of Te. Or maybe I just have high Fi even for a ENFP.

If one values structure and the other doesn't...how can they both feel comfortable in the long run without giving up their identity? It doesn't make much sense to me.

 

[miss fortune]

I think you're putting more emphasis on type theory than individuals there

I'm quite happy with an ISTJ... I find his different views of the world to be fascinating and appreciate his structure and stability, even though it's not something that would work for me... with TOLERANCE you can happily get along with other types!

 

[gigi_xo]

Meh, long marriages don't impress me really. I've got enough of those in my own family. Commitment doesn't imply happiness really. How do you know they are happy? Not saying they can't be of course...but as an ENFP marrying to a TJ sounds very counter intuitive. Fi is in direct opposition of Te. Or maybe I just have high Fi even for a ENFP.

If one values structure and the other doesn't...how can they both feel comfortable in the long run without giving up their identity? It doesn't make much sense to me.

I'm with an intj who is wonderful :0

when we fight... its always bc I think he's not sensitive and considerate enough and in turn he thinks I don't appreciate him & I'm being too needy lol

but these are rare, he's very kind, loving, and he motivates me to work hard and think a bit more.

but omg is it boring when he does on economic theory rants.

and he doesnt like art & writing lol... my two hobbies.

but he tries

 

[gigi_xo]

Now as for my EX: The question if he is an intj or istj

Maybe this sort of background will help... bc a lot of what I've been saying could go for either or is inconclusive:

He did not ever concede defeat or admit to being wrong even in the face of his errors
He LIKED to debate
He was almost as silly as I was when we were alone but in public he was entirely stoic
and yes if JERK was a type, I'd have him pegged.
The most important things to him are: Money, watching baseball, & being better than everyone else

 

[Moiety]

Gigi, there are 3 buts in your post. Just saying.

I think you're putting more emphasis on type theory than individuals there

I'm quite happy with an ISTJ... I find his different views of the world to be fascinating and appreciate his structure and stability, even though it's not something that would work for me... with TOLERANCE you can happily get along with other types!

Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on type theory. But only indirectly. If I'm "irresponsible" I'm not gonna be with someone that deeply values irresponsibility. If I'm empathic I'm not gonna be with someone who is cold to everyone else but me. etc etc


I DO get along well with other types. Most of my friends are TJs in fact. Tolerance shouldn't really apply or be the basis for a relationship imo, though.

 

[miss fortune]

the question before giving typological relationship advice is just as follows... how many different types have you been in a relationship with?

 

[Moiety]

the question before giving typological relationship advice is just as follows... how many different types have you been in a relationship with?

The question before answering that is just as follows...does it really matter provided I know what I want out of life and relationships?

 

[miss fortune]

^ for you, but not for EVERYONE of your type

 

[Moiety]

^ for you, but not for EVERYONE of your type

I didn't say everyone of my type knows what they want out of life and relationships. That's kinda exactly my point. Only a drunk ENFP would be with a TJ

Lol, I'm kidding. But I am skeptical about it working in the long term, yes.

 

[miss fortune]

you'd better keep telling it to all of those ENFP + INTJ = FOREVA threads then...

I just don't think you can pass a sweeping judgement on ALL ENFPs and IxTJs... individuals are individuals and type doesn't have as much play as you may think when it comes to happiness

 

[gigi_xo]

you'd better keep telling it to all of those ENFP + INTJ = FOREVA threads then...

I just don't think you can pass a sweeping judgement on ALL ENFPs and IxTJs... individuals are individuals and type doesn't have as much play as you may think when it comes to happiness

I love my intj boyfriend

and before I realized he was a psycho I loved my IXTJ boyfriend

they ground meee

 

[miss fortune]

that's what I love about my ISTJ... he's a grounding influence and that just makes me feel

 

[gigi_xo]

that's what I love about my ISTJ... he's a grounding influence and that just makes me feel

I like when my intj stops being all mr. serious and has tickle fights

and then he reminds me to do my taxes

sexy.

 

[miss fortune]

oooh... I get tickled viciously when doing something innocent, like stirring soup... and he's impossible to tickle back

silly activities as breaks from serious stuff, like doing payroll or taking apart the computer is FUN!

(and he did my taxes )

 

[Moiety]

you'd better keep telling it to all of those ENFP + INTJ = FOREVA threads then...

I just don't think you can pass a sweeping judgement on ALL ENFPs and IxTJs... individuals are individuals and type doesn't have as much play as you may think when it comes to happiness

What was my sweeping judgment exactly? Did you read the two examples I gave about personal traits? And if there is a judgement it's not on ENFPs or ITJs, it's on the connection established.

Besides, the threads mean nothing. I'm not denying the types attract one another.

Before Gigi realized he was a psycho she loved her ITJ. Just saying.

and then he reminds me to do my taxes

Besides it's my personal belief that relationships shouldn't be about balancing each other out, but two balanced individuals coming together. They could be living alone just as well. Otherwise it's just codependency. Yuck.

 

[miss fortune]

I read the two examples and they seemed theoretically based as opposed to genuinely practiced, meaning I'm inclined to suggest not knocking it until you try it

I don't think it's ever possible for a person to develop to really have ALL of the strengths needed in a relationship- it's nice to have someone around sometimes who remembers when the bills are due without having to tack them to the bathroom mirror and then get complaints from the electric company that the bill looks almost soggy

 

[IZthe411]

I read the two examples and they seemed theoretically based as opposed to genuinely practiced, meaning I'm inclined to suggest not knocking it until you try it

I don't think it's ever possible for a person to develop to really have ALL of the strengths needed in a relationship- it's nice to have someone around sometimes who remembers when the bills are due without having to tack them to the bathroom mirror and then get complaints from the electric company that the bill looks almost soggy

I, as an ISTJ, FAIL at paying bills on time.

Don't know if that disqualifies me.

 

[Moiety]

I read the two examples and they seemed theoretically based as opposed to genuinely practiced, meaning I'm inclined to suggest not knocking it until you try it

I think you haven't met that many people then. And I don't even mean relationships. Some traits are easily spotted in people even outside of relationships.

I don't think it's ever possible for a person to develop to really have ALL of the strengths needed in a relationship-:

Not needed for a relationship. Needed for life. I'm not gonna try and get a wife that cooks for me just because I can't cook. I'll learn to cook. etc etc

 

[miss fortune]

I think you haven't met that many people then. And I don't even mean relationships. Some traits are easily spotted in people even outside of relationships.

you can't really know with some people until you try it out though- I never thought I could be attracted to a TJ and now I'm very happy with one- and I know PLENTY of people... I'm just against making blanket statements that two types won't go together because YOU think so

Not needed for a relationship. Needed for life. I'm not gonna try and get a wife that cooks for me just because I can't cook. I'll learn to cook. etc etc

complementing another individual isn't a bad thing... it's not dependance, it's cooperation


and JTG... it just means that you're probably under the age of 26 or so!

 

[Moiety]

you can't really know with some people until you try it out though- I never thought I could be attracted to a TJ and now I'm very happy with one- and I know PLENTY of people... I'm just against making blanket statements that two types won't go together because YOU think so

I didn't say they didn't go together. I'm just saying I never saw one work out and I know quite a few myself. And you know plenty of people that what? I know more ENFPs that dated ISTJs than ENFPs who didn't. That doesn't mean they were happy together. I'm just basing it on my observations and in what I know about ENFPs, since I am one myself.

I said I don't think most Js are suited for ENFPs and that as an ENFP marrying a TJ sounds very counter intuitive. Obviously I was that was according to my definition of intuitive and suitable.

I never said an ITJ and an ENFP couldn't be happy together. Just that I never saw it have long term potential with both parties living their life like they always wanted.

complementing another individual isn't a bad thing... it's not dependance, it's cooperation :

Cooperation is about tackling mutual problems together, not about you solving the other person's problems for them. But I admit that compared to most people, I must have a left field view on the subject.