[MBTI General] ISTJs Explained By ISTJs: Post your questions here!

[Gerbah]

How do you know you're ISTJ? What confirmed your type for you, particularly as the OP claims there are so many misconceptions about the ISTJ type (and most of these misconceptions are based on ISTJ type descriptions)?

In terms of preferred cognitive functions and all that, I'm pretty sure I'm an ISTJ. I have tested as INFP once but I think the test was very weighted on certain kinds of answers, so I think that was wrong.

My personal theory as to why ISTJs are often misunderstood is that 1) we function in a certain way in relation to the external world, e.g. conscientious, dependable, etc. But this is just a working method for dealing with externalities. It's not a reflection of how we're feeling, what we're thinking or who we are on the inside. 2) The introversion: for me personally, how this manifests is that I'm emotionally guarded with people I don't know very well or don't trust. Other types seem to be comfortable exposing themselves even with people they don't know or don't like that much or can at least make the other one feel comfortable even so. I'm not good at that. I can't help it. It's nothing personal. It's just how my emotional system works. With people I love though, I'm very open and emotional and much more free. I'm also more open that I would be normally when I meet people I naturally click with.

So I think the reason why people say ISTJs are boring, emotionally distant, cold, robots, etc. is because they are identifying the ISTJ too much with the outer functioning. Like a uniform, that's not me, it's just my job, and people who know me better are few and far between. This can be irritating for very image-conscious people to deal with.

So when people don't get a certain emotional response that they're maybe normally used to and expect as normal social behaviour, they might assume that the ISTJ is through and through like that. Just blah and predictable. But it's not so simple.

That said, with age and experience I've understood that people don't like to feel objectified, so I have learned to acquire certain social skills for dealing with people I'm not so close to, I just think it's not an ISTJ's natural gift.

 

[Betty Blue]

This is a solid suggestion to handle the workplace problem if your boss is really an ISTJ.

Ah no. It's my partner. He's actually a really very good man with many qualities it's just that there are areas where i just don't know how to get through because i feel very misunderstood. I think i am definately too emotional versus his too rational if that makes sense. I am trying to find compromises but i find that i am much more prepared to compromise. He has difficulties admitting if/when he is wrong/incorrect about anything. We have a lot of strong points so ending the relationship is not what i am after and maybe i should have been more clear that the outcome i want is one of understanding. We actually sat down and wrote down all the things we each wanted to change/compromise with and have come up with (a written) plan. It has started today and so far so good. Any ideas on how to maintain good communication and how to approach difficult subjects/situations with an ISTJ would be much appreciated.

 

[ajblaise]

What do you ISTJs think of these quotes on routine:


“Routine is not organization, any more than paralysis is order.”

“The less routine the more life.”

“So much of our time is spent in preparation, so much in routine, and so much in retrospect, that the amount of each person's genius is confined to a very few hours.”

“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.”

 

[IZthe411]

How do you know you're ISTJ? What confirmed your type for you, particularly as the OP claims there are so many misconceptions about the ISTJ type (and most of these misconceptions are based on ISTJ type descriptions)?

Most of the misconceptions are deductions made based on observations of older generations...for example, this:

ISTJs have homes that are neat and they carry out their domestic activities with efficiency and dispatch. They like to eat breakfast at eight, lunch at noon, and dinner at six, no matter what. Holidays and other family affairs are extremely important and become the focus of family life, no expense or inconvenience spared. Family members of other types who fail to fall in step may be subject to considerable grief and guilt. ISTJs' homes and personal appearances tend to reflect their life preferences in general: traditional and probably somewhat austere. You can often spot an ISTJ's home from the outside: the yard is sparse--the few bushes and plants are neat and orderly--the house color is rather subdued, bikes and toys are put away, and the entire presentation can only be described as tasteful but reserved. A place for everything and everything in its place.

I don't identify with that paragraph.


But I know the primary cognitive functions that an ISTJ would are what I use. I've tested other things, but reading their descriptions don't really best suit who I am.

I know I have tested very low I, and moderate S. I'm heavier on the T & J.

 

[Cimarron]

The thing I don't like about quotes like those (and from before) is that they seem to try to destroy an "absolute" mindset with an opposing but still absolute mindset. Often they rely on exaggeration to prove a point. The point itself, made against an "absolute" assumption (maybe society's assumption), may be a good point to make...so its usefulness lasts about 5 seconds. Not much further to go than the quote itself.

Personally, I agree most with the 4th, and least with the 1st.

I identify as an ISTJ because I identify even less with the other types.

 

[IZthe411]

Ah no. It's my partner. He's actually a really very good man with many qualities it's just that there are areas where i just don't know how to get through because i feel very misunderstood. I think i am definately too emotional versus his too rational if that makes sense. I am trying to find compromises but i find that i am much more prepared to compromise. He has difficulties admitting if/when he is wrong/incorrect about anything. We have a lot of strong points so ending the relationship is not what i am after and maybe i should have been more clear that the outcome i want is one of understanding. We actually sat down and wrote down all the things we each wanted to change/compromise with and have come up with (a written) plan. It has started today and so far so good. Any ideas on how to maintain good communication and how to approach difficult subjects/situations with an ISTJ would be much appreciated.

How old are you both?

Without getting too personal, What are his things that he wants you to change/compromise, and how did he react to your list?

The above advice about directly talking, being straight up, serious, and curbing the emotion filled speech works in relationships too.

 

[IZthe411]

What do you ISTJs think of these quotes on routine:


“Routine is not organization, any more than paralysis is order.”

“The less routine the more life.”

“So much of our time is spent in preparation, so much in routine, and so much in retrospect, that the amount of each person's genius is confined to a very few hours.”

“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.”

Dude, you are funny.

But I do know that the fact that I have to work provides some structure for me, and I have kind of built my 'routine' around it. I like to workout before work, for example. So ideally I'd like to be sleep by 10pm, so I can get up at 5. I get up, pack a bag, hit the gym, and then straight to work from there. If I have a day off, while my plan is to go to the gym at some point, I'll hang out later. So I sleep in. I don't usually make it to the gym at all, because I don't have to leave the house to go to work. The only time it works for me is if I get up and go to the gym the same time I'd go if I am working, which means get up despite 4 hours of sleep. Then I can get back to the crib, go back to sleep, or whatever I had planned.

So in summary, there is value in routine. A good routine is necessary for things that are most crucial. It provides structure and guarantees that you will accomplish whatever the goal is. But there's no value in being confined to one. Life/time is too fluid, too changing to live life that way.

 

[IZthe411]

The thing I don't like about quotes like those (and from before) is that they seem to try to destroy an "absolute" mindset with an opposing but still absolute mindset. Often they rely on exaggeration to prove a point. The point itself, made against an "absolute" assumption (maybe society's assumption), may be a good point to make...so its usefulness lasts about 5 seconds. Not much further to go than the quote itself.

Good point man!

There are no absolutes in life.

I bet one of the guys who wrote these must have his coffee before he does anything else. That's routine. His point's already disproved.

 

[ajblaise]

The thing I don't like about quotes like those (and from before) is that they seem to try to destroy an "absolute" mindset with an opposing but still absolute mindset.

It's not as if quotes are mini-religions. You don't have to interpret them all the way literally, they're not really meant to be. They're just suppose to make you think.

 

[raz]

I woke up this morning and made a list in my head of like 15 actions around the house to do in order to get done before I left so that I could get myself ready and then things to do before I left for work after my doctor's appointment. I automatically plan things out in my head for efficiency. Do as many things as I can at once or with the shortest time in between tasks. Mostly I do that because it feels good to be efficient and see the end result of that efficiency.

 

[IZthe411]

I woke up this morning and made a list in my head of like 15 actions around the house to do in order to get done before I left so that I could get myself ready and then things to do before I left for work after my doctor's appointment. I automatically plan things out in my head for efficiency. Do as many things as I can at once or with the shortest time in between tasks. Mostly I do that because it feels good to be efficient and see the end result of that efficiency.

I've begun to write out lists of what I want to do, and even prioritized. It started at work, but it has spilled over to home life too.

And since SJs can get caught up in the present to the detriment of future stuff, I write out the long term stuff too, and see if there's anything I can do now to prepare for then.

At first I scoffed at the idea, but it really works. It's still a work in progress, though. Until it becomes automatic, I have to force myself to write stuff down.

 

[Betty Blue]

How old are you both?

Without getting too personal, What are his things that he wants you to change/compromise, and how did he react to your list?

The above advice about directly talking, being straight up, serious, and curbing the emotion filled speech works in relationships too.

We are both 33. Mature enough in ourselves and try to be with each other.
We disagree on many many things but we do have common ground and get on very well for the most part. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and are engaged to be married. The things we disagree on just seem to go round and round and do not get resolved. There are some cultural differences (I'm English and he's Iranian) but not religious as we are both agnostic. He actually does not want to change too much about me but he asks that i spend less time on the computer and more time with him and he also asks for me to be calmer. He is not very happy with himself regarding the relationship and is big enough to admit that he hasn't been a very good partner.
The main issues (for me) revolve around my feeling delegated to as though i am an assistant to him. I think it's just his (managerial) style of communication but i find it very frustrating as i am a very independant person. I have children from my previous relationship which he was aware of befor we got involved and we talked about that a lot. He still has difficulty relating to them and thinks i should be more strict where as i think he should relax more and actually spend some time with them. This is something we have addressed in our plan. We have also set aside time alone together to make a balance.
The list i wrote was taken (semi) seriously and i feel an attitude of avoidance of the real issues, as i said he finds it difficult to admit to mistakes. Even when we were making our plan i found his role was still that of the organizer (of me). All this being said i do believe that, now we have made the plan, he will put the effort in as he is an honorable person who does not like to give up on anything, he certainly does not want to loose me.

 

[uumlau]

to be fair, he WAS extremely evil

the question: I can't figure out if my ex was an intj or istj upon reflection and when I tried to ask him he only wanted to discuss basketball and ignored me basically.

to add a little background...

He did have ideas about how to improve the future.... but they werent thought out very well... he wanted to shoot all the poor people to lower the poverty level for example.

and he had a HORRIBLE/INSANE temper if that has anyyything to do with type, or can have to do with type?

he never took the blame for anything, was somewhat manipulative and got very frustrated when people didn't understand him or agree.

he didn't have a lot of friends... and was never happy with the friends he did have.

any ideas? istj or intj??? anybodddy?/

I believe I've only dated NTs... until I thought more about this one... im really just curious.

he was a jerk.

more information... he was partly kidding about the shooting poor people. that was his sense of humor

He did not play any sports besides being really bad at golf until he joined an inter mural soccer team which he also sucked at, but he made a fantasy baseball league and all their scores & stuff. dont know the details, he was very secretive.

extremely judgmental, cold, insensitive, but this might be a bit of any cranky iXtj.

does one type have a strong fi/fe than the other? Because when upset he would be completely emotional, irrational and vindictive.

I would come up with random schemes that he would excitedly assist with, but I don't believe he made many of his own..

IxTJ has very weak Fe, and only a mildly strong Fi, if that. The key part you're wondering about is the S or the N. You have, however, already determined the most vital aspect of his personality: he is a jerk.

To a degree, xxTJs are "more likely to be jerks" but not in the way you might think. xxTJs are more likely to unintentionally be jerks, do to social cluelessness (low Fe).

As for S vs N, there really isn't enough information, here. I don't think an INTJ would be quite so preoccupied with sports, but it's not unheard of. For S vs N, it's in the small things. When you spoke with him, did it feel like he was always right there with you, or did he seem to live "in his head"? That would be the main clue. Did he notice/remember really small details? Did he daydream a lot?

That should get you started. Just remember that N or S, "JERK" is its own type, not an MBTI type.

 

[IZthe411]

We are both 33. Mature enough in ourselves and try to be with each other.
We disagree on many many things but we do have common ground and get on very well for the most part. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and are engaged to be married. The things we disagree on just seem to go round and round and do not get resolved. There are some cultural differences (I'm English and he's Iranian) but not religious as we are both agnostic. He actually does not want to change too much about me but he asks that i spend less time on the computer and more time with him and he also asks for me to be calmer. He is not very happy with himself regarding the relationship and is big enough to admit that he hasn't been a very good partner.
The main issues (for me) revolve around my feeling delegated to as though i am an assistant to him. I think it's just his (managerial) style of communication but i find it very frustrating as i am a very independant person. I have children from my previous relationship which he was aware of befor we got involved and we talked about that a lot. He still has difficulty relating to them and thinks i should be more strict where as i think he should relax more and actually spend some time with them. This is something we have addressed in our plan. We have also set aside time alone together to make a balance.
The list i wrote was taken (semi) seriously and i feel an attitude of avoidance of the real issues, as i said he finds it difficult to admit to mistakes. Even when we were making our plan i found his role was still that of the organizer (of me). All this being said i do believe that, now we have made the plan, he will put the effort in as he is an honorable person who does not like to give up on anything, he certainly does not want to loose me.

I think the combination of his type, which is still clearly not defined by your descriptions, AND his cultural background. Have you and he discussed how women were considered in his culture and background? That could be it too.

Like mentioned in the previous post, an IXTJ has weak Fi and an even weaker Fe. If he hasn't had it in practice thus far in life, now it is manifesting itself.

One thing you did say up there, in that last paragraph, is that he 'doesn't like to give up on anything'. That an S trait. He might be an ISTJ, but he isn't an extreme S.

I agree with uumlau, based on your situation, it's less of the S/N devide, and more of the regard his feelings and yours, Fi & Fe. At age 33, it's now or never for him to change his ways.

 

[Lady_X]

We are both 33. Mature enough in ourselves and try to be with each other.
We disagree on many many things but we do have common ground and get on very well for the most part. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and are engaged to be married. The things we disagree on just seem to go round and round and do not get resolved. There are some cultural differences (I'm English and he's Iranian) but not religious as we are both agnostic. He actually does not want to change too much about me but he asks that i spend less time on the computer and more time with him and he also asks for me to be calmer. He is not very happy with himself regarding the relationship and is big enough to admit that he hasn't been a very good partner.
The main issues (for me) revolve around my feeling delegated to as though i am an assistant to him. I think it's just his (managerial) style of communication but i find it very frustrating as i am a very independant person. I have children from my previous relationship which he was aware of befor we got involved and we talked about that a lot. He still has difficulty relating to them and thinks i should be more strict where as i think he should relax more and actually spend some time with them. This is something we have addressed in our plan. We have also set aside time alone together to make a balance.
The list i wrote was taken (semi) seriously and i feel an attitude of avoidance of the real issues, as i said he finds it difficult to admit to mistakes. Even when we were making our plan i found his role was still that of the organizer (of me). All this being said i do believe that, now we have made the plan, he will put the effort in as he is an honorable person who does not like to give up on anything, he certainly does not want to loose me.

have you had him read or have you explained to him some of your type differences? that might help...understanding and then acceptance is essential for getting past issues, i think.

 

[IZthe411]

have you had him read or have you explained to him some of your type differences? that might help...understanding and then acceptance is essential for getting past issues, i think.

What's up Lady X!

 

[Lady_X]

are you saying hi? or asking why no negativity there?

 

[IZthe411]

are you saying hi? or asking why no negativity there?

I'm saying Hi

 

[sciski]

In terms of preferred cognitive functions and all that, I'm pretty sure I'm an ISTJ. I have tested as INFP once but I think the test was very weighted on certain kinds of answers, so I think that was wrong.

My personal theory as to why ISTJs are often misunderstood is that 1) we function in a certain way in relation to the external world, e.g. conscientious, dependable, etc. But this is just a working method for dealing with externalities. It's not a reflection of how we're feeling, what we're thinking or who we are on the inside. 2) The introversion: for me personally, how this manifests is that I'm emotionally guarded with people I don't know very well or don't trust. Other types seem to be comfortable exposing themselves even with people they don't know or don't like that much or can at least make the other one feel comfortable even so. I'm not good at that. I can't help it. It's nothing personal. It's just how my emotional system works. With people I love though, I'm very open and emotional and much more free. I'm also more open that I would be normally when I meet people I naturally click with.

So I think the reason why people say ISTJs are boring, emotionally distant, cold, robots, etc. is because they are identifying the ISTJ too much with the outer functioning. Like a uniform, that's not me, it's just my job, and people who know me better are few and far between. This can be irritating for very image-conscious people to deal with.

So when people don't get a certain emotional response that they're maybe normally used to and expect as normal social behaviour, they might assume that the ISTJ is through and through like that. Just blah and predictable. But it's not so simple.

That said, with age and experience I've understood that people don't like to feel objectified, so I have learned to acquire certain social skills for dealing with people I'm not so close to, I just think it's not an ISTJ's natural gift.

Thank you for providing this insight.

I've personally never found ISTJs to be lacking in apparent depth or emotion. It's the Fi bubbling beneath the surface .

I think many other types also wear the STJ uniform, as our working environment encourages S, T and especially Jness. It's quite possibly one of the reasons that many "ISTJs" seem to lack depth. After all, it's not their true type.

 

[Moiety]

After all, it's not their true type.

Thank you. Exactly. They were just programmed that way.