[MBTI General] ISTJs Explained By ISTJs: Post your questions here!

[IZthe411]

^yeah, i think i'm outgoing enough that i usually end up taking the lead. most of my partners have been introverted. i think i'm somewhere in the middle, to be honest.

Okay....I'm the same way, outgoing but I find it hard to pull an introvert out of their shell. I dunno sometimes I feel like talking, and I need them to be ready to spill their guts LOL. I guess I want an E who does this naturally, and be prepared to wish they'd shut up sometimes LOL

 

[luminous beam]

lol i feel ya, this is prob why i clashed w/the dude...cuz neither wanted to shut up or give in. i think his J tendency makes him want to do things his way, but my previous experiences have led me to be less naive and less selfless, so when i feel i'm being attacked or pushed i don't back down. all this caused intense arguing.

 

[IZthe411]

lol i feel ya, this is prob why i clashed w/the dude...cuz neither wanted to shut up or give in. i think his J tendency makes him want to do things his way, but my previous experiences have led me to be less naive and less selfless, so when i feel i'm being attacked or pushed i don't back down. all this caused intense arguing.

ISTJs do have a lot of right/wrong discussions, and sometimes this can affect F partners. I found myself doing that sometimes, and I had to tell myself to just let it go if she didn't get it. It wasn't that I wanted to fight, but really to just see my way, and at the least accept it for what it is- my way.

ISTJs do get a lot of bad rep for always wanting things their way. I don't think that's always the case. They are most likely used to their way, and until they are comfortable, or even convinced that it can be done a better way, they'll unknowingly insist on their own. If you aren't aware of this you'd think they are rigid, but that's not the case. It can easily be changed if you approach it with confidence, almost slapping the poor guy down, that it can be done you way and he's gonna love it!

 

[luminous beam]

lol well, i think i did that. that prob explains why the poor dude keeps messaging me like a yr later hahaha but unfortunately, i don't find this method attractive. it was actually a huge turn off for me to get to the point where i had to shut him up because he was being an ass. just remember this, we NFs have a thing for peace and harmony. if you take us out of our element you will probably scare us off.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

SJ guys, how do you feel about anal sex?

 

[raz]

SJ guys, how do you feel about anal sex?

My first response is, it's personal preference, so stop associating it with SJness. Next, I'd say, "Okay, I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend, but it's a general thing in society that people don't outright agree with, so I'll be careful about asking her."

In terms of anything though, I'm extraverted enough to take the lead on something if I feel it's been left a mess too long. If I see a need for control and my analysis of the situation allows for it, I will treat people as pawns until the situation is under control again. I filter my Te through Fi though, but minimally. I will stop to think about other people's reactions or how they'll feel about my actions, but if control of the situation is a high enough priority, then pawns it is and I start getting off on being a control freak. Te is fun, I can't help it.

 

[Sam Spade]

SJ guys, how do you feel about anal sex?

Are you offering yourself to us?

 

[luminous beam]

^ ::giggles::

 

[IZthe411]

lol well, i think i did that. that prob explains why the poor dude keeps messaging me like a yr later hahaha but unfortunately, i don't find this method attractive. it was actually a huge turn off for me to get to the point where i had to shut him up because he was being an ass. just remember this, we NFs have a thing for peace and harmony. if you take us out of our element you will probably scare us off.

Yes he sounds like a wimp....I hope love never leaves me like that!!!

 

[IZthe411]

SJ guys, how do you feel about anal sex?

My Si says the anus is a one way street, and I'm not trying to block traffic.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

Are you offering yourself to us?

I'm asking you if you enjoy it in the culo. Message that prostate.

 

[Sam Spade]

I'm asking you if you enjoy it in the culo. Message that prostate.

I haven't partaken in that dalliance as of yet, but I'm sure an intellectually superior NT like yourself could enlighten all of us tight-assed (both figuratively AND literally) SJs.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

I haven't partaken in that dalliance as of yet, but I'm sure an intellectually superior NT like yourself could enlighten all of us tight-assed (both figuratively AND literally) SJs.

Well first you have to remove any obstacles that could be in the way. So for example........if you happened to have a stick up your ass, you'd probably want to pull that out first.

Then we'd have to read a manual by Kinsey to determine with the exact girth of shaft to be used and the proper grade of astro-glide.

However, make sure you aren't in Texas when attempting this. I don't believe it isn't a legally sanctioned activity within certain Texas counties.

 

[Bri]

... The ISTJ, more conservative than most, will obey the rules so that they are not punished or face getting fired. They may be disgruntled, and complain, but that's probably about how far it will go...

Yep, one of my brothers is definitely an ISTJ.

Ok, one more question...
How does this general 'follow the rules' mindset translate to relationships? Do you tend toward appeasing your friends and significant other when it's possible to do so?

 

[IZthe411]

The more traditional ISTJs might play along, but I think a lot of those rules of romance are stupid, unless they mean something to either party....for instance, candy and cards are not romantic to me. Valentines day is not romantic- you are dictating to me when I should show love to my girl...I'd rather do that more frequently, and not do V day, and have her not care, because she's getting what she needs and doesn't need that day.

I can't stand when a girl tells me she's expecting something 'because that's what a guy's supposed to do', or 'everybody else does this'. Who cares?! I'm not everybody else, and if that's the reason you want it done, I'll probably not do it based on that alone. Yeah it sounds cold, but that's how I think. I like good, personal reasons behind requests. I respect them more.

Friends are the same......there is give and take in relationships, so you can't always have your way if you want something to work. I'm a loyal guy to my friends as well...once I entrust you as a friend, you get special privleges, things I'll do for you that I probably won't do with family. Even if you burn me once, I'll probably forgive you, but if it happens too much after that I'll cut you.

 

[Bri]

^Gottcha. What if the rules aren't specifically societal, but are more akin to expectations a specific person puts on you? (Assume for this question that you've already established a decent relationship with the person; they are not a new acquaintance.)

 

[raz]

The more traditional ISTJs might play along, but I think a lot of those rules of romance are stupid, unless they mean something to either party....for instance, candy and cards are not romantic to me. Valentines day is not romantic- you are dictating to me when I should show love to my girl...I'd rather do that more frequently, and not do V day, and have her not care, because she's getting what she needs and doesn't need that day.

I can't stand when a girl tells me she's expecting something 'because that's what a guy's supposed to do', or 'everybody else does this'. Who cares?! I'm not everybody else, and if that's the reason you want it done, I'll probably not do it based on that alone. Yeah it sounds cold, but that's how I think. I like good, personal reasons behind requests. I respect them more.

Friends are the same......there is give and take in relationships, so you can't always have your way if you want something to work. I'm a loyal guy to my friends as well...once I entrust you as a friend, you get special privleges, things I'll do for you that I probably won't do with family. Even if you burn me once, I'll probably forgive you, but if it happens too much after that I'll cut you.

I personally like valentine's day a lot. It's just a fun thing to do. It's like a special fun event in first grade, but glorified 15 years later. I'll throw analyzing it to the wind and just enjoy the experience with the person I care about. I can do things throughout the year to reinforce how much I care about them.

I get to go out to dinner and do special stuff with a girl that I adore, while other people are doing the same and there are decorations everywhere to make it lively? Yes, please. It's just a fun game.

I'm more about doing something just for the sake of gaining the experience, to be able to say, "I did it." I mean, yeah, you can analyze Valentine's Day and it makes sense to say that its fucked up because of hallmark and bullshit, but I don't give a damn. The fact that I get all perky seeing hearts around stores and romantic cards in the beginning of February does not get changed by a simple analysis.

Now, actual day to day things that "guys just do." Yeah, fuck that. I'll analyze it. I'm going out of my way for something society is throwing on me that does not coincide with how I would act with my woman. I'll do whatever my heart tells me to do to let her know how much I adore and admire her. A lot of shit is situational.

 

[sciski]

Those are very enlightening responses so far. Thanks.

I too am amazed at how many of you didn't seem to fit in or were very lonely during adolescence. Must be the Te vs Fe factor?

A few more questions (pre-formatted for your pleasure):
How comfortable are you with emotional expression (from yourself and others)?

What do you do in your spare time? What sort of hobbies do you have?

In your personal opinion or experience, what is the greatest difference between you and xSFJs?

 

[IZthe411]

^Gottcha. What if the rules aren't specifically societal, but are more akin to expectations a specific person puts on you? (Assume for this question that you've already established a decent relationship with the person; they are not a new acquaintance.)

I'm trying to think of an instance where this came into play, and I think I have one....I think it's a case by case basis...there's no blanket answer for that. It would definitely be a weighing between what I feel is essential to my core as a person, my integrity, to a sense, and trying to maintain a decent relationship with this person. If it doesn't violate what's centrally important to me (this varies from person to person), then I'd be more willing to put up with it.

If the request is essential to them, and they can't seem to proceed without it, then I am willing to put our friendship to an end. At the end of the day I can't feel like I'm selling myself out.

 

[IZthe411]

How comfortable are you with emotional expression (from yourself and others)?

I feel wierd! Like most Ts, emotional expression does not come easy. I'd rather show you how I feel over saying it..... Saying "I Love you" is so hard, and I must be really feeling some type of way for me to initiate that exchange.

I can't take too much emotional expression. If a person gets too emotional, I will withdraw from the situation. If I can't do it physically, believe me my mind has checked out. Sometimes it's smothering.

I have a buddy I really believe is an ISFJ...the guy is so sensitive, where I come from, a punch and a wisecrack is how I'd show I care. This guy doesn't mind embraces and things like that. And he's not gay! LOL. He's a good hearted guy.

What do you do in your spare time? What sort of hobbies do you have?

In my spare time, I like to play sports, workout, and read, and do a little TV watching. I'm an I but eventually I have to have some human contact, most preferably a few people as opposed to 100.

Do people have hobbies anymore? I guess working on my house is a hobby? Because I do that when I can. I guess I like to work with my hands and do/create things to my speicifications. I wish I had the time to do more of this. Sometimes I want things done now and I have to shell out the $$$ for this.

In your personal opinion or experience, what is the greatest difference between you and xSFJs?

I think SFJs are nicer in a sense...they laugh a lot. It seems like for them Fe is this desire to not offend anybody. They are very mannerly, and sometimes too nice.....almost to the point that they could be considered a doormat to some, and actually allow it to happen. Overall, It seems they care more than an xSTJ would, which is great, because I have learned alot from my ISFJ buddy, but it could cause them to be used.