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  1. #591
    Junior Member PwnedSandMonster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbah View Post
    Hello,

    I'm ISTJ also. I can also get in a rut when it comes to negative emotions. As for how to get out of it, this depends on exactly why you're feeling bad.

    Generally though, for me anyway, having someone I trust and can talk to and generally having someone like that around as support, someone I know truly cares about me, helps a lot to keep me going until I've figured out the problem or ridden it through, etc.

    As for my part, I don't know if it's the case for most ISTJs, but I'm pretty sensitive and my lows can be pretty low. I find that reminding myself of that helps because otherwise I can blow things up too much in my mind and make the problem feel bigger than it is. I also find I can take care of strong negative emotions better when I don't add more stress to myself. Like, I don't pressure myself to do “useful” things. I take a break.

    Good luck!
    Thanks, that really helps. It's good to know that there are other people besides myself that feel things similar to what I do. After a loooong talk with someone, I did feel a lot better. I think I just need someone there to tell me to keep my head up and things like that. I know what you mean by being sensitive and making problems seem bigger than they are. I guess it's just something that certain people like myself have to work on

  2. #592
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    OK, I have an ISTJ in my life and she and I don't understand each other at all. The part I find most difficult is that she makes belittling and criticizing comments to me, to her husband, and to people around her in general. My question is:

    Why does she do this?
    Is it because she feels these people need improving and she actually thinks she is helping? Is it because she feels insecure and has to put others down to make herself feel better? Does she understand that people perceive her as rude? If she did, would she care?

    What would be the best way to respond when she makes critical comments like this? I would like to have a positive relationship with her, but I find it very difficult because I we are so different.

  3. #593
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valerie View Post
    OK, I have an ISTJ in my life and she and I don't understand each other at all. The part I find most difficult is that she makes belittling and criticizing comments to me, to her husband, and to people around her in general. My question is:

    Why does she do this?
    Is it because she feels these people need improving and she actually thinks she is helping? Is it because she feels insecure and has to put others down to make herself feel better? Does she understand that people perceive her as rude? If she did, would she care?

    What would be the best way to respond when she makes critical comments like this? I would like to have a positive relationship with her, but I find it very difficult because I we are so different.
    Its hard to say without knowing what kind of comments they are, but to they appear to have any kind of purpose to them? For example, once when I was in highschool and I broke my foot, I started gaining weight because I wasn't walking. My mother made a comment along the lines of, "If you get fat, no one will ever love you and you'll be alone the rest of your life." Now - thats a pretty awful comment... But as I got older I realized that she only did that when she saw me going down the same path she had, and wanted to prevent me from making her mistakes. There are a lot of cases of her making some comments with... good intentions but bad delivery.

    This could be a similar situation. Maybe she has tried to subtly give hints that she thinks you should change some aspect of yourself, and in her frustration she didn't know how else to "help".


    Either way, it's not ok. And they may not even be aware of it. If you're friends or close at all... There should be some kind of drive to 'please' the other person, because most of the time if you tell an ISTJ something is wrong they'll go to great lengths to right it (if they have a sense of loyalty toward you). However, if you're not very close friends she might not care... as theres no guarantee that theres that same sense of loyalty.


    Personally, friends with the person or not - I would just want to be told bluntly that I'm being too mean (and this has happened to me before). Even if I don't particularly care about the person, I usually don't mean to be rude and will do what I can to avoid confrontation.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

  4. #594
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PwnedSandMonster View Post
    Thanks, that really helps. It's good to know that there are other people besides myself that feel things similar to what I do. After a loooong talk with someone, I did feel a lot better. I think I just need someone there to tell me to keep my head up and things like that. I know what you mean by being sensitive and making problems seem bigger than they are. I guess it's just something that certain people like myself have to work on
    You're welcome I'm glad you have someone to talk to. And about being sensitive, I also find that it can work the other way. That I'm feeling low and then something really random or weird will suddenly make me feel really jolly for a while. And then I'm depressed again :/ I think ISTJs can take things too seriously sometimes and that can get one stuck in a rut. At least, I know I would benefit from not taking certain things so seriously. And yes, having another trusted person around with a different perspective can be really helpful.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  5. #595
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    ISTJs... How do you feel about losing Donna Cecilia as an SJ?

    You guys really lost a good one there.

    POUR OUT A LITTLE LIQUOR


  6. #596
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juice View Post
    ISTJs... How do you feel about losing Donna Cecilia as an SJ?

    You guys really lost a good one there.



    POUR OUT A LITTLE LIQUOR




    When did this happen? I see she done went Bi on us....

    She was a down chick!!

    She fallin for at iNfluence...not good.

  7. #597
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    It doesn't matter. Whoever he/she/it is is whoever he/she/it is.


  8. #598
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    How do you handle rebellion against the institution with which you align yourself?

    (i.e. a new employee trying to undo your workplace's current political structure in order to establish a more relaxed, informal atmosphere?)

    Also, as a more open-ended question:

    How do view/handle rebellion/rebelliousness?
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
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  9. #599
    L'anima non dimora Donna Cecilia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juice View Post
    ISTJs... How do you feel about losing Donna Cecilia as an SJ?

    You guys really lost a good one there.

    POUR OUT A LITTLE LIQUOR

    Juice, this seems like my funeral with you as the priest.

    "iNfluence", yes. Maybe being here has hepled me to get back into my healthy self.

    I started taking MBTI tests six years ago, when I was going through a depressive cycle, which is ending now.

    "An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."
    Victor Hugo



    LII/INTj (Analyst) - 1w9 Sp/Sx - RC|O|EI - Melancholy/Choleric

  10. #600
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donna Cecilia View Post
    Juice, this seems like my funeral with you as the priest.

    "iNfluence", yes. Maybe being here has hepled me to get back into my healthy self.

    I started taking MBTI tests six years ago, when I was going through a depressive cycle, which is ending now.
    You sounded too intuitive. "I envision how events will develop." That's Ni, not Si. I hardly believe you are an ISTJ, because of how articulate you are. Usually INTJs know they are INTJs.


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