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  1. #261
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    lol... I have an ENFP friend who's married to an ISTJ and has been for the past 20 years... they're quite happy together!
    Meh, long marriages don't impress me really. I've got enough of those in my own family. Commitment doesn't imply happiness really. How do you know they are happy? Not saying they can't be of course...but as an ENFP marrying to a TJ sounds very counter intuitive. Fi is in direct opposition of Te. Or maybe I just have high Fi even for a ENFP.

    If one values structure and the other doesn't...how can they both feel comfortable in the long run without giving up their identity? It doesn't make much sense to me.

  2. #262
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I think you're putting more emphasis on type theory than individuals there

    I'm quite happy with an ISTJ... I find his different views of the world to be fascinating and appreciate his structure and stability, even though it's not something that would work for me... with TOLERANCE you can happily get along with other types!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #263
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Meh, long marriages don't impress me really. I've got enough of those in my own family. Commitment doesn't imply happiness really. How do you know they are happy? Not saying they can't be of course...but as an ENFP marrying to a TJ sounds very counter intuitive. Fi is in direct opposition of Te. Or maybe I just have high Fi even for a ENFP.

    If one values structure and the other doesn't...how can they both feel comfortable in the long run without giving up their identity? It doesn't make much sense to me.


    I'm with an intj who is wonderful :0

    when we fight... its always bc I think he's not sensitive and considerate enough and in turn he thinks I don't appreciate him & I'm being too needy lol

    but these are rare, he's very kind, loving, and he motivates me to work hard and think a bit more.

    but omg is it boring when he does on economic theory rants.

    and he doesnt like art & writing lol... my two hobbies.

    but he tries
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


    3w4

  4. #264
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    Now as for my EX: The question if he is an intj or istj

    Maybe this sort of background will help... bc a lot of what I've been saying could go for either or is inconclusive:

    He did not ever concede defeat or admit to being wrong even in the face of his errors
    He LIKED to debate
    He was almost as silly as I was when we were alone but in public he was entirely stoic
    and yes if JERK was a type, I'd have him pegged.
    The most important things to him are: Money, watching baseball, & being better than everyone else
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


    3w4

  5. #265
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Gigi, there are 3 buts in your post. Just saying.

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I think you're putting more emphasis on type theory than individuals there

    I'm quite happy with an ISTJ... I find his different views of the world to be fascinating and appreciate his structure and stability, even though it's not something that would work for me... with TOLERANCE you can happily get along with other types!
    Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on type theory. But only indirectly. If I'm "irresponsible" I'm not gonna be with someone that deeply values irresponsibility. If I'm empathic I'm not gonna be with someone who is cold to everyone else but me. etc etc


    I DO get along well with other types. Most of my friends are TJs in fact. Tolerance shouldn't really apply or be the basis for a relationship imo, though.

  6. #266
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    the question before giving typological relationship advice is just as follows... how many different types have you been in a relationship with?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #267
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    the question before giving typological relationship advice is just as follows... how many different types have you been in a relationship with?
    The question before answering that is just as follows...does it really matter provided I know what I want out of life and relationships?

  8. #268
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    ^ for you, but not for EVERYONE of your type
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #269
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    ^ for you, but not for EVERYONE of your type
    I didn't say everyone of my type knows what they want out of life and relationships. That's kinda exactly my point. Only a drunk ENFP would be with a TJ

    Lol, I'm kidding. But I am skeptical about it working in the long term, yes.

  10. #270
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    you'd better keep telling it to all of those ENFP + INTJ = FOREVA threads then...

    I just don't think you can pass a sweeping judgement on ALL ENFPs and IxTJs... individuals are individuals and type doesn't have as much play as you may think when it comes to happiness
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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