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  1. #121
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Yo Habba- you hit 500 points! Don't you get some new privleges with that?
    Oh... must be of obscure nature as I haven't noticed anything.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  2. #122
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Oh... must be of obscure nature as I haven't noticed anything.
    At a minimum you can change that 'Senior Member' title under your name.

    I thought it was more. I think 500 posts signifies that you have some kind of commitment to the board. Not some fly by night sensation!

  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I agree. I think because we take in a lot of what's around us (Si), we are very astute joke tellers. I read in some book that we are among the best joke tellers. I agree.
    yes, I frickin suck at telling jokes. I tend to do better when my mind is somewhere. Read a "dirty" joke book and for a week I was turning everything around in a sexual nature. More of a play on reality and words and stuff then actually telling jokes.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #124
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    OK, here's one for you ISTJ's. There is this ISTJ (not tested, but I couldn't be more certain he is an ISTJ) guy who I have been talking to / hanging out with on and off for about 10 months. He drives me bananas!!!

    He had a rough childhood and will admit that he is carrying around a lot of the hurt. He will open up a hair and then shut right back down. He has no patience for listening to or even validating my feelings (yes I said it), not that I expect a lot of that out of him, but I have explained to him that at the very least not invalidating my feelings would be nice...he won't do it, I think becuase he thinks it's dumb. Not to mention he is sooooooooooo stubborn...good lord! I can't get this guy to accomodate me in pretty much any way without a fight...something as simple as getting him to go to a different restaurant takes an act of congress. I know he wants more from me than what I am giving him, but I keep him at arms length becuase I don't feel listened to or validated by him and shut out from really knowing him. He kind of refuses to even meet me half way - as a matter-of-fact I am pretty sure that he thinks annoying me is funny. I feel like I'm handing him a roadmap with directions to get close to me, but he is too stubborn to compromise.

    That being said, for all of you ISTJ nay-sayers. This guy is anything but dull. I find him very interesting (albeit frustrating) and fun. I appreciate his reliability and consistancy. Any advice on getting him to see the value in compromise and to see how his behavior is actually pushing me away? Otherwise, at arms-length he stays.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  5. #125
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    I know he wants more from me than what I am giving him, but I keep him at arms length because I don't feel listened to or validated by him and shut out from really knowing him. He kind of refuses to even meet me half way - as a matter-of-fact I am pretty sure that he thinks annoying me is funny. I feel like I'm handing him a roadmap with directions to get close to me, but he is too stubborn to compromise.

    That being said, for all of you ISTJ nay-sayers. This guy is anything but dull. I find him very interesting (albeit frustrating) and fun. I appreciate his reliability and consistancy. Any advice on getting him to see the value in compromise and to see how his behavior is actually pushing me away? Otherwise, at arms-length he stays.
    Not sure how to give advice without knowing a few more details, but for one thing I agree with the bolded part. Don't change your mind on that. From what you've said it sounds like he is not very mature and doesn't understand some important aspects of relationships yet, which is understandable given his childhood. However, accommodating that inappropriately will not give him motivation to learn and grow. If you want to give us more specific details, like anecdotes about specific situations, we could probably help you understand a bit more about his thought process and maybe some of what his motivations are.
    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~Plato

  6. #126
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Well, there is nothing that "serious" as far as anecdotes go becuase I have never allowed things to get serious. But I can give you an example that sounds trivial, mostly becuase it is. However, this is typical of how conflict goes with us.

    He likes to text as a primary form of communication. I like to talk on the phone. I told him that I am fine with texting some, but would also like to talk on the phone becuase A) I don't feel like I can really connect with someone via text and B) I have a hard time focusing (particularly when I am working on something I don't like) and my phone buzzing every few minutes is too distracting becuase it breaks my concentration C) I just generally find having an entire conversation with someone over text annoying and cumbersome. I explained all this to him.

    He will text me ALL DAY! If I ask him to call me, he flat out refuses. If I call him, he doesn't answer. I really don't think there is anything going on or that he is hiding anything just becuase he is like this with almost everything. He's just stobborn like that. He has a "You can't make me do it." attitude. If we are on the same page, we are all good and have a great time together, if not it's a problem...but like I said, he thinks it's funny. I don't think he has any concept how frustrating he can be to me and I am sure a lot of other people.

    I hadn't talked to him in a while...he just cropped back up a few days ago and I am trying to figure out if there is any way of getting my point across to him or if I am wasting my breath.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  7. #127
    Member Sam Spade's Avatar
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    I have to censor myself around feelers, and it makes them boring.
    I agree with the earlier poster. The only people who have described me as "boring" are those I have to censor myself around. Namely, immature people of all types including SJs. This has more to do with the TCK experience in my book than any Myers-Briggs correlation.
    "Knights had no meaning in this game. It wasn't a game for knights."

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    Well, there is nothing that "serious" as far as anecdotes go becuase I have never allowed things to get serious. But I can give you an example that sounds trivial, mostly becuase it is. However, this is typical of how conflict goes with us.

    He likes to text as a primary form of communication. I like to talk on the phone. I told him that I am fine with texting some, but would also like to talk on the phone becuase A) I don't feel like I can really connect with someone via text and B) I have a hard time focusing (particularly when I am working on something I don't like) and my phone buzzing every few minutes is too distracting becuase it breaks my concentration C) I just generally find having an entire conversation with someone over text annoying and cumbersome. I explained all this to him.

    He will text me ALL DAY! If I ask him to call me, he flat out refuses. If I call him, he doesn't answer. I really don't think there is anything going on or that he is hiding anything just becuase he is like this with almost everything. He's just stobborn like that. He has a "You can't make me do it." attitude. If we are on the same page, we are all good and have a great time together, if not it's a problem...but like I said, he thinks it's funny. I don't think he has any concept how frustrating he can be to me and I am sure a lot of other people.

    I hadn't talked to him in a while...he just cropped back up a few days ago and I am trying to figure out if there is any way of getting my point across to him or if I am wasting my breath.
    Breath is only wasted when you dont stand up for what you speak. You want him to call you then dont talk to him unless he calls you or if he sees you in person and keep him at arms length until you feel like you can let him closer. Dont give up or force it to end, but dont give in if its important, hold him where you feel, just move forward with your life. Easier said then done though.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #129
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Breath is only wasted when you dont stand up for what you speak. You want him to call you then dont talk to him unless he calls you or if he sees you in person and keep him at arms length until you feel like you can let him closer. Dont give up or force it to end, but dont give in if its important, hold him where you feel, just move forward with your life. Easier said then done though.

    Agree here.

    Again, not sure how old both of you are, but nobody's type gives them carte-blanche to insist people put up with their crap.

    If he's not willing to adjust, move on.


    If you feel that his withholding is a major concern to you, you have to let him know, more than once, and be direct.

  10. #130
    Junior Member
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    Default Impossible?

    One an ISTJ says a relationship is over, is there any way to win them back or is it forever?

    I still like my ex :-) I really want to make things work.

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