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  1. #61
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    Why shouldn't you hold high standards? Why isn't it fair? I mean, it's your life, and ultimately you have to pick your partner and be happy with your choice. If you compromise too many of the important beliefs that you have, you'll end up making yourself (and your partner) miserable in the long run. It's one thing to hold high standards on their core belief system, and totally another thing to have "high standards" on the type of haircut they prefer. I think it's important to know the things that are important enough to you that you wouldn't be willing to compromise.

    I mean, what would really be "unfair" is marrying your partner with the expectations that they (or you) will change once you're married. I have kind of resolved myself to the idea of, "If you're gonna be with this person for the rest of your life, you better make sure you can accept them exactly as they are."
    I completely agree. That's why I said I wouldn't use the word "picky" because, to me, "picky" is having "high unyielding standards" about a person's haircut or what kind of food they eat or something other completely arbitrary thing. I know exactly what I want in terms of core beliefs/values, and I agree that it shouldn't have to be compromised.

    So yes, I don't really think us ISTJs are "picky"...we just know exactly what type of person we want and don't want to settle (like you said).
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  2. #62
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    Well, the emoticons only allow so much creativity. Gotta make do with what you have...although, I do love llamas.
    So you're an Alpaca hater?



    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    Why shouldn't you hold high standards? Why isn't it fair? I mean, it's your life, and ultimately you have to pick your partner and be happy with your choice. If you compromise too many of the important beliefs that you have, you'll end up making yourself (and your partner) miserable in the long run. It's one thing to hold high standards on their core belief system, and totally another thing to have "high standards" on the type of haircut they prefer. I think it's important to know the things that are important enough to you that you wouldn't be willing to compromise.

    I mean, what would really be "unfair" is marrying your partner with the expectations that they (or you) will change once you're married. I have kind of resolved myself to the idea of, "If you're gonna be with this person for the rest of your life, you better make sure you can accept them exactly as they are."
    Yes, I see what you mean now. I just don't want to come off as shallow, because I'm not.
    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    I completely agree. That's why I said I wouldn't use the word "picky" because, to me, "picky" is having "high unyielding standards" about a person's haircut or what kind of food they eat or something other completely arbitrary thing. I know exactly what I want in terms of core beliefs/values, and I agree that it shouldn't have to be compromised.

    So yes, I don't really think us ISTJs are "picky"...we just know exactly what type of person we want and don't want to settle (like you said).
    So "picky" means shallow, but holding "high standards" isn't shallow?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #63
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    "High Standards" can be shallow or non-shallow. It just depends on what those standards are. Do you have "high standards" about what type of hair color your potential wife should have or what sort of core beliefs your potential wife should have? There's a difference I just tend to use the word "picky" when referring to shallow high standards, and use the phrase "high standards" when referring to non-shallow characteristics I look for in a person.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  4. #64
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    "High Standards" can be shallow or non-shallow. It just depends on what those standards are. Do you have "high standards" about what type of hair color your potential wife should have or what sort of core beliefs your potential wife should have? There's a difference I just tend to use the word "picky" when referring to shallow high standards, and use the phrase "high standards" when referring to non-shallow characteristics I look for in a person.
    I don't care what hair color she has. But I wouldn't be attracted to someone who was morbidly obese. Is that being shallow? The most important thing to me is that we see eye to eye on most of our moral core values. But there MUST be physical attraction... otherwise it wouldn't seem right.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #65
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I don't care what hair color she has. But I wouldn't be attracted to someone who was morbidly obese. Is that being shallow? The most important thing to me is that we see eye to eye on most of our moral core values.
    I agree. That's what's most important to me too (although, yes, I'll admit that I wouldn't want someone who is morbidly obese).

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    But there MUST be physical attraction... otherwise it wouldn't seem right.
    Of course! If there was no attraction then the person would just be your great friend, not your romantic partner.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  6. #66
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Of course! If there was no attraction then the person would just be your great friend, not your romantic partner.
    The attraction doesn't necessarily have to be there from the get go. I don't think. I have had the "just friends" thing grow into attraction.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #67
    Senior Member AutumnReverie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    The attraction doesn't necessarily have to be there from the get go. I don't think. I have had the "just friends" thing grow into attraction.
    Of course. I've found that sometimes someone's personality makes them more physically attractive to me the more I get to know them.
    After all,
    you're my wonderwall...

    {listen: }

  8. #68
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    Physical: Males want blonde dolls. Females want tall, dark and handsome.

    Emotional: Males want warm and carring deferents. Females want a strong, dominating man.

    Mental: Males want a woman who feels, not thinks. Females want a man who tinks, and only feels when they are alone together.

  9. #69
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    The argument of standards, I believe I've seen this before... It makes me feel good inside when I see the deeper ones prefered instead of superficiality being the be all end all, the way the media likes to push it.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #70
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutumnReverie View Post
    Of course. I've found that sometimes someone's personality makes them more physically attractive to me the more I get to know them.
    I wish I could just skip the friends part. That way I wouldn't get "friend zoned"
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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