(I hate myself for not being able to stop myself from posting walls of texts.)
Halp, I can't relate to half of the things mentioned in ISTJ and ESTJ profiles all over the net. They seem to be full of pragmatic businessmen stereotypes... I used to think that I was an INTP because of how unsimilar I am to those profiles (ISTP is out of the question because I'm quite sure I use Ne and Si), but felt out of place on one of the INTP forums. I came on here, started a thread on 'what is my type' and most voted for ISTJ, followed by ESTJ. Are there any profiles of ISTJ that focuses more on usage of functions rather than on habits and excelling in family/business matters?
I can't imagine myself being attracted to a guy, then get settled, start a family. My plan in life (or at least what I think the ideal life is) is to get a stable job with minimal human contact (hopefully one of my interest), then live alone or with a cat or something. I don't mind starting a family, but I won't fret over it if I don't.
Unlike how the forum says that Ns are usually the ones that do not fit in society, I think that applies to me rather well too. I couldn't find common interest amongst girls, can't fathom fashion (needed a friend to explain to me what spaghetti stripes were just last week), did not find cliques appealing, never wore make up. I'm pretty androgynous or tomboyish to some people. I was a loner from Primary all the way to Secondary school (both of which were girls' schools, things got slightly better in Polytechnic with so many people sharing similar interests), never had interest in pursuing academic achievements, sleep in class right in front of the teachers' noses... After Secondary school, I chose to take up diploma dealing with games design in a Polytechnic over a Junior College with an irrational goal of working as an artist in Neopets. Well, at least, I finally found more friends with similar interests but it was a 180 degrees turn from me being a troublemaker in class to one of the least playful people in the course. (Is it possible that the course attracted way more N people than the general population represents?) Amongst book-smart people, I'm the laid back slacker. Amongst laid back slackers, I'm the one being stressed over handing up decent homework.
There are plenty of things that makes me think I'm a P. My table's messy, I don't keep a list, I don't sleep and wake up at the same time eveyday. Telling me to plan is like telling me to kill a kitty. Well, not that bad but you get what I mean. I dislike doing stuff and I prefer to sit on them and brood about things and be the one asking questions, not the one giving answers. I attempted keeping a calendar on my table, but it ended up being unused. Resolutions I make are usually forgotten or I end up not being able to commit to it. Example will be DDRing on a dancemat at home as a replacement for exercise because I do not enjoy wasting time going out. It worked well for a week, but then I started waking up late again so I ended up using the time to do homework or surf the net.
I also seem to be more expressive than most ISTJs (wonder if it's partially due to gender differences and because my mum is a short-tempered ESFJ) I relate more with my ENFP sister than my ISTJ dad but I'm not sure if it's because of a generation gap. There were many times, where I would be moved to tears (or near) by a touching movie/show. I have never cried in front of my friends before (at least as far as I remember...). Likewise, none of my friends (who I care about) ever did, which is a relief because I have no idea how I'm supposed to react. Maybe stiffly offer a packet of tissue or something. But I will definitely not hug or pat them. Same thing happens when friends online emo at me. I usually find myself unsure of what to say, and end up saying "Well, I do not know what to say but feel free to rant and I'll be listening." Unless I think the other person's being a crybaby, I'll roll my eyes and just go "hm", "ok", maybe a few impersonal suggestions.
The things that makes me do think that I'm an ISTJ (tentatively) is that I'm bent on security, intolerant of my younger brother's Se-ness (Making noise, playing with loud toys, role playing as some action hero shooting imaginary bullets at me, drives me up the wall), anal about the kind of homework I hand up. I'm the party pooper, I douse people with a bucket of cold reality water. (I can't help it! How are people able to stay stuck in irrational fantasies?) I don't mind following a timetable and I prefer my lecturers giving me deadlines and requirements of the homework set in stone. There were incidents where my HTI (History and Theory of Ideas, it's like philosophy) lecturer kept giving unclear instructions and deadlines, confusing the whole class and successfully made everyone hand up something he did not want - TWICE. And then we were 'punished' to do his homework again because he was unclear. :steam: I hate most of his homework because usually I have NO IDEA what he wanted from us at all. My ENFP and ENFJ friends agree. I tried asking the lecturer for clearer explanations but it usually confuses us more. He's INFP btw.
I'm a terrible team player when it comes to groupwork. I'm usually so direct that my team members are surprised to see so much intensity coming from a midget. I'll be like "Can't you just follow the video tutorials I sent you on rigging (it's the system used to create 'bones' for 3d models to be animated with)? I told you to do that twice over the span of a few weeks!"
I know I sound like an ESTJ being intense and all, but I really don't see my Te as a preferred function, in fact, I find myself having the need to be intensely motivated before I start doing something. besides, I usually find myself saying "I'm tired, I wanna go home now." after a whole day out at a friend's house. (And going out itself is rare and usually for a reason.)
So... Are there any other ISTJ females around who disagree with what is written on most ISTJ profiles and wants to break a couple of inaccurate stereotypes? The only one that found to be really fitting was this:
The Enigmatic ISTp - Wikisocion
Though I'm not sure how similar scionics ISTp and MBTI ISTJ are.