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  1. #11
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    ESxJ's are the ultimate in the "telling isn't selling" school of thought. You have to demonstrate how you feel. Doing nice things and remembering small details = good.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  2. #12
    Senior Member
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    Thanks, everyone. I'm going to put your suggestions to use. (Except for the flowers and courting part, since I don't want to date any of them.)
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  3. #13
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Little things. Biggest thing is look and see what they do for others and then do those same things for them. If I leave my fiancee a little note on the dashboard of the truck, it would show him that those little things are the kind of things I value, as well. (Not that I would do it just so I would get the same thing back in return...I'm just saying it shows what I value.) It comes naturally to people to show love in the way they like to receive love, so I think you can often look at what someone does to others to demonstrate their care for them and then emulate those characteristics when dealing with that person.

    For me, I like little details. I like people making small efforts for me that show me they're thinking of me. If someone calls me in the middle of the day to tell me a little story they know I'll enjoy, I love that. I LOVE getting little cards or notes. Those little things mean more to me than big things most of the time.

    I'd also say learn to show some initiative. We ESFJs are natural planners and organizers. I enjoy it, but I often get to the place where I feel I'm the only one who makes effort. It really hurts me when I am constantly depended on to make the plans. It shows me someone cares when they take initiative and they plan something for ME.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  4. #14
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Wow. I dated an ESFJ and I thought they were the easiest people to show affection too. But then maybe that's because I'm their introverted counterpart.

    In any event, I found that blunt, overt displays work best. Flowers, poetry, dinner dates, etc. Don't be afraid to randomly tell them or show them how much you appreciate them, just for being them.
    Last edited by tinker683; 01-22-2010 at 10:20 PM. Reason: Revised my answer as I found it wasn't very informative.
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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