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  1. #1
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Default ISFJ? What are they saying?

    Is it just me or does anyone have trouble understanding ISFJs?
    I think I am dating one. It seems like he can talk in circles about things, finish my sentences and attempt to empathize, but the things he says are very cliche and unoriginal. Also he tends to put words in my mouth, which I don't like. I've never experienced this before. He is fond of idioms, catch phrases, and pop culture. Sometimes, I worry if he has the ability to come up with an original thought in his own head...

    He tested for ISTJ, INTJ, then ISFJ twice... I really don't know what to think other than he annoys me.


  2. #2
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    First of all, why is an NF asking about an SJ in the NT forum?

    Secondly, if he annoys you and all that, why are you dating him?

    Personally, as an INTP, I don't find ISFJs very hard to understand at all, even if it's true that we clearly have different preferences. I'm also curious about how a person you descibe in such a way only gets IJ types as a result (INTJ really surprises me). Constantly regurtating empty ideas taken from the surrounding environment doesn't sound very IJ to me.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  3. #3
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    so you are saying, to dump him basically...
    thank you bloated inflating bat avatar

  4. #4
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    do you know how people lie on their personality tests... that is what happened in his case...
    He was baffled by it. First actually he tested ENFJ, then ISTJ... there is no way he is ENFJ... to me sometimes it feels like his actions are like those of an ESFP!

  5. #5
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Imagine dating this person for another year or so.. If it's this annoying now, how would it be like 10 years down the line?

    I recently dated a guy, whom.. let's say basically I felt I was conversing with a talking textbook. I mean, literally, anything I said would be counter argued with information irrelevant to what was said, but everything was about facts, facts, facts. I felt like it was a factoid conversation half of the times. The other half was me changing the topic onto something new, and again and again.. our discussion went around in circles and circles.

    Probably the best thing I did was do us both of favor- drop it like it's hot.

    I didn't want to waste his or my time, but I still like him as a person.. just not as a potential.

    What is it about this person that's sustaining the interest?

  6. #6
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    physical chemistry, and that he is affectionate and makes me feel very good, and is a caring nice person, he gives me pleasure...

    and then he drives me nuts...mentally
    there is a lack of depth, we try to communicate, and I told him I want him to know me too. But its all about having fun, and doing things, and checking my status, and making plans, and talking about his interests. He doesn't really seem to wan't to know me.
    He wanted to share all his movies and music with me on our first date or two, but then, it continued, to more about him, and his stuff. And he just asked so what do you want to do... Not very deep... Also he said that communication is very important to him, yet he and his ex never communicated they just did stuff and had fun, they didn't talk about things beyond the surface level, and he said with me, its "real and scary" I think he is trying... but ultimately it will be a waste of time and energy to invest on my part... but he keeps calling me, and I have already gone back to see him.
    Also its hard for me to be just friends, I cant do that, and be intimate physically at the same time...
    TMI
    does he sound like an ISFP??? or is it irrelevant at this point?

  7. #7
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    you still didn't explain why an NF asked about SJs on the NT forum

    you'd probably get better answers if you put it in the SJ forum or NF forum... the NTs really are mostly just going to tell you to dump him or not care... the other two would actually give a lot more constructive answers because their type would be involved- basic self interest
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #8
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    my inclination is to dump because I see that it is not going to work anyway. I am just curious I guess. I am ENFP but try to act ENTP, and I like NT stuff, I like reason, logic, and rational philosophy. but ENFP brained. Apparently I am right brained, or emotional, so I score F, I would like to think that I have some crossover. I am not religious, and I feel good when I stay cool...
    Being emotional, is nice, but it's taxing, being an ENFP, means basing happiness on making others feel good, at times, and having them like me. That is not healthy, and it feels uncomfortable. I am really not as outgoing as I used to be, and also, I don't wan't to please everyone. I just wan't to relax.
    I guess, I can be nice, and logical at the same time. I tend to go all the way. I think I have to be a scientist, or a social worker. I am like the hare, not the tortse, -sp? That is one thing I have realized, I need to pace myself, or I am going to burn out.

  9. #9
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    once again, why did you post this in the NT forum?

    do you not care what other people ask you, or can you not read?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #10
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    once again, why did you post this in the NT forum?

    do you not care what other people ask you, or can you not read?
    Because I can. wolf man.

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