[MBTI General] ISTJs who don't lust after the ENFP!

[IZthe411]

It's funny I started this thread in January, and then in March I met this girl I strongly believe's an ENFP. I'm kind of intrigued by her at the same time frustrated by our phone conversations- in addition to the bad reception between our phones, her quirky connections within our discussion sometimes left me like 'huh?'. Not that I couldn't make the connection- it was more like- where did that come from?

She's from LA, I'm from Philly. Her mother died this past April, and it's really affected her. We've been in contact from time to time, but she hasn't been up to much conversation. I hope she is able to move on, for her sake.

 

[Aleksei]

Opposites attract for most.

That's actually statistically false; attraction follows a positive trend to similarity. Regardless, Keirsey's theory was that opposites complement each other in all areas except N/S, where the very strong difference in perception would prevent effective communication. I assumed since you're asking about ISTJs that don't like ENFPs that you were testing that theory -- mistakenly assuming that the type match simply flips every letter. Apologies if that wasn't the case.

 

[Cimarron]

That's actually statistically false; attraction follows a positive trend to similarity. Regardless, Keirsey's theory was that opposites complement each other in all areas except N/S, where the very strong difference in perception would prevent effective communication. I assumed since you're asking about ISTJs that don't like ENFPs that you were testing that theory -- mistakenly assuming that the type match simply flips every letter. Apologies if that wasn't the case.

Keirsey's theory is that a type is very attracted to DDDD and DSDD (where D=different and S=same), but that DSDD has great long-term compatibility and DDDD doesn't. That's how I've read it. (shrug)

 

[Aleksei]

Keirsey's theory is that a type is very attracted to DDDD and DSDD (where D=different and S=same), but that DSDD has great long-term compatibility and DDDD doesn't. That's how I've read it. (shrug)

Ah, I see. Either idea seems at odds with reality anyway.

 

[Giggly]

Ah, I see. Either idea seems at odds with reality anyway.

This thread is about lust though not long-term compatibility.

 

[Aleksei]

Well, yeah. Studies made on the matter have found that people tend to be progressively more attracted to people more similar to themselves (contrary to the "opposites attract" conventional wisdom); although I'm not entirely sure people are actually more compatible with people more similar to themselves.

 

[Giggly]

Well, yeah. Studies made on the matter have found that people tend to be progressively more attracted to people more similar to themselves (contrary to the "opposites attract" conventional wisdom); although I'm not entirely sure people are actually more compatible with people more similar to themselves.

Progressively? as in overtime one learns from their past mistakes?

 

[Aleksei]

No, as in statistical progression.

 

[Giggly]

^ I don't know what that means. Plz explain.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

haha. this amuses me, because for the longest time my ISTJ roommate was in love with in ENFP. it never worked out, and she was mostly toying with his heart, wanted to be loved but not love back. ugh! she was not a healthy person. but anyways, is this a normal attraction: ISTJ <3 ENFP?

 

[Aleksei]

^ I don't know what that means. Plz explain.

Oh, it just means that the more alike people are, the more likely they are to be attracted to each other.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Well, yeah. Studies made on the matter have found that people tend to be progressively more attracted to people more similar to themselves (contrary to the "opposites attract" conventional wisdom); although I'm not entirely sure people are actually more compatible with people more similar to themselves.

I will definitely say I'm not attracted to complete opposites of myself... I have a hard time with extremely extroverted people. I'd prefer someone a bit quieter. I also am not too fond of J types. Too rigid for me. I'm quite fond of INTP, ISTP, and INFP males. Other than my gay best friend, I haven't known any male ISFP's... so I'm not sure if I would be attracted to someone of similar personality type. Although... I had always hoped to marry Heath Ledger who's an ISFP.

 

[Aleksei]

Well there are some extrovert types that aren't quite as loud as extroverts are commonly thought to be, especially ENPs. ENFPs are commonly known as the "introverted extrovert" type.

 

[IZthe411]

Oh, it just means that the more alike people are, the more likely they are to be attracted to each other.

I disagree here man....they may work out better, but with 66% of males being Ts and 66% of females being Fs, you have one huge divide there.

And we're talking about initial attraction here, based of little more than initial impressions.

 

[Rainne]

i know an enfp who's married to an istj, they argue a lot but otherwise seem quite happy

they're a complete contrast of each other, but a very formidable team as they cover each other's weaknesses

 

[Aleksei]

I disagree here man....they may work out better, but with 66% of males being Ts and 66% of females being Fs, you have one huge divide there.

I actually think the number's more even than that. There's a self-reporting bias for men to portray themselves as T and women as F.

 

[Vamp]

I actually think the number's more even than that. There's a self-reporting bias for men to portray themselves as T and women as F.

Yeah, gender norms create trends that support what we think we know about gender, not what the truth is. Whatever that is.

I agree that ENFPS tend to be on the lower scale of extroversion or, at the very least, have become aware that most of the things we say and do "stand out"/are odd and make an effort to "hibernate". Or that's just projection; I've always been hiding my true self and more or less conforming, I'm sure I've been wrongly typed as an INT_.

 

[Thalassa]

Oh, it just means that the more alike people are, the more likely they are to be attracted to each other.

Bullshit. I think NF men are gross. Sorry.

When they say like attracts like, they mean people with similar values or attitudes about money, or shared interests, not necessarily same or similar MBTI type.

I'm an ENFP and I tend to love sensing feelers. Other ENFPs only want to be with NFs. Then others still only want NTs, or ISTJs.

 

[onceuponatime]

This has to be one of the stupidest fucking threads on this whole damn forum

 

[Vamp]

Bullshit. I think NF men are gross. Sorry.

When they say like attracts like, they mean people with similar values or attitudes about money, or shared interests, not necessarily same or similar MBTI type.

I'm an ENFP and I tend to love sensing feelers. Other ENFPs only want to be with NFs. Then others still only want NTs, or ISTJs.

It's not an axiom. I can certainly see how more likeness would be attractive (especially when it comes to less rigid MBTI traits like introversion vs extroversion and feeling vs thinking- I can't handle introverts and thinkers tend to infuriate me). But what are the chances you'd know the other persons 4 letters?