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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    You have to avoid theory without directly relating it to something real that she can remember. Tell her it's a way of seeing where other people are coming from so that you can better understand each other's needs, and then relate specific concrete examples from things she remembers happening before.

    Also when explaining typology to anyone new, always start with the positives about his/her type. That makes people way more open to listening.

    My mom is ESFJ too and I first got her to listen to this stuff by pointing out how good she is at finding lost items (and how proportionally bad I am.) I told her that when she tells me to go find something in the kitchen, I have a really hard time with it because I don't easily see "salt, and sugar, and drinking glasses, and potato chips" but just "one big blob of 'kitchen.'"

    I appealed to her sense of pride in her own skills by playing to her strengths and talking about real world examples that she could relate to her own experiences. That's the key.

    I also went on to discuss her ability to empathize with people's problems and complimented the fact that she's always so helpful and always willing to set her own needs aside in order to make sure her family/friends have what they need. Try to think about things are important to ESFJ's self-image and make an effort to compliment them.
    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Why don't you ask her to read your profile description first, and see if she agrees to them- with emphasis on the positives? Then you could let her know that you think it's a pretty good read of yourself, and if anything, it's helped you understand yourself and how you interact with those around you, and that you'd be interested in her taking the test so that you both could better understand how you relate to each other.
    It seems that showing a type description would be the best way. Thanks simulatedworld and IZthe411 for pointing that out. I've read through many ESFJ type descriptions, and many of the detailed profiles point out a lot of negatives that may be a turn off to the whole thing, while the positive type descriptions are usually vague and brief. Is there one that either of you may be able to recommend?

  2. #12
    Senior Member FeatheredFrenzy's Avatar
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    How about this one?

    ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

    It's from a book. You might actually want to even go show her the book if it will create more validity. Maybe she'll be curious enough to turn the page and look over at other profiles too.

  3. #13
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    The best way to present MBTI to an SJ: Apply it to Bible scripture.

    Like this: Do not Judge lest ye be Judged. If you test as a Judger, you're a sinner.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    If the issue is about accepting different opinions as valid. I'd recommend using a different source than MBTI... It seems like she doesn't really want to know.

    Depending on hobbies, for example, if she's a fan of movies and such. Find ones that emphasise on different opinions and how they all work etc.

    Honestly, it depends on what you guys clash about. Maybe, the truth is that she does realise the difference, but still wants you to follow her way regardless.

  5. #15
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    The best way to present MBTI to an SJ: Apply it to Bible scripture.

    Like this: Do not Judge lest ye be Judged. If you test as a Judger, you're a sinner.
    I like this approach
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #16
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Use this site, the profiles are based on interviews- Best-Fit Type : Exploring the Multiple Models of Personality Type
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've never met an SJ who didn't find taking an MBTI test to be interesting (and then my ISFJ mother made everyone in the family take the test so that she could have more to be interested in... how the family related!)

    really, if you aren't an idiot and know how to explain things clearly, explaining the theory behind it isn't difficult either... SJs aren't the theory-illiterate idiots that some of these threads seem to paint them as... a good portion of my friends are SJs and I've never met one who had issues with understanding the MBTI
    I agree.

  8. #18
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've never met an SJ who didn't find taking an MBTI test to be interesting (and then my ISFJ mother made everyone in the family take the test so that she could have more to be interested in... how the family related!)

    really, if you aren't an idiot and know how to explain things clearly, explaining the theory behind it isn't difficult either... SJs aren't the theory-illiterate idiots that some of these threads seem to paint them as... a good portion of my friends are SJs and I've never met one who had issues with understanding the MBTI
    I think this is right as I like MBTI, I think it is very interesting. However, I only utilize it as a tool to [i]help]/i] me understand the things I do, along with understanding others when I'm having a hard time with them. Everyone is different and almost nobody fits their MBTI results at 100%- unless their trying to.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I reccommend administering a small electrical shock when her eyes glaze over and start rolling back in her head.

    I say this from my personal experience - sister ESFJ, friend of 16 yrs ESFJ, ex-boyfriend ESFJ. I tried to talk to all of them about of MBTI and they looked at me like I had 3 heads, told me I obviously didn't love them and then offered me cookies.

    You might have better luck than me, but I found that they were completely disinterested in MBTI (except to be slightly defensive about the "negative" personality traits)...way too abstract for their taste.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  10. #20
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    I reccommend administering a small electrical shock when her eyes glaze over and start rolling back in her head.

    I say this from my personal experience - sister ESFJ, friend of 16 yrs ESFJ, ex-boyfriend ESFJ. I tried to talk to all of them about of MBTI and they looked at me like I had 3 heads, told me I obviously didn't love them and then offered me cookies.

    You might have better luck than me, but I found that they were completely disinterested in MBTI (except to be slightly defensive about the "negative" personality traits)...way too abstract for their taste.
    Heh, that's a great story. My dad, an ESTJ, had a similar reaction. Only he said to had to go do some chores and made a bee line for the door (no cookies were offered). When the topic comes up, you can see him scanning about for some excuse or change of subject.

    It's ironic, because it was very helpful for making me more patient with his quirks. I was sad that turned out to be a one-way street.

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