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[SJ] SJ's .. What's your weakness?

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Is there a particular area in your life that needs improving. I don't necessary want to refer to it as a problem as it any weakness can be turned into a strength if you change your perception .. Just curious :smile:

I would say mine is .. I don't like people assuming what i am thinking or feeling .. If you want to know then just ask .. Jumping to conclusions only frustrates me.

Now turning that into a positive .. Someone did this recently, i don't know the person but the conversation was about me .. In the past when someone has speculated and played devils advocate .. I have gone straight in there and told them exactly what i have thought .. I didn't do it this time as the person doesn't know me and if someone chooses to believe them as opposed to asking me .. Well, their loss because i can walk away.

What about you?
 

Take Five

Supreme Allied Commander
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
925
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
I'm not good at conversation.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
I generally don't like when people make assumptions about my thoughts or feelings either, but I especially don't like it when my girlfriend does it. As I have gotten older the less I have felt the need to correct those who assume wrong, but I feel that my girlfriend should ask me over assume my thoughts or feelings.

My biggest weakness is in the affection/encouragement dept. It's a natural thing for me as an ISTJ- I hate talking 'intimately' if the person tries to 'aww baby' me. I'd rather just hear "I understand" or talk solutions, if I'm asking for one. I don't want the pity treatment.
 

bcvcdc

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
215
MBTI Type
INTx
telling the absolute truth. this is my weakness i guess. and by the way, i don't understand why you continue to call me when you should know by now i certainly will not pick up the phone if i don't recognize the caller id. i guess you will just continue to play your guessing games, because to you, it's far more fun to conform to your little formula than to actually have some sort of meaningful conversation. oh well. your loss. but please stop pretending that other people who are different from you actually mean something to you in a good way. you don't even know the definition of 'good'.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
^^^ Are you speculating that someone doesn't know the meaning of 'good' as it doesn't conform to your perception of it?
Just answer the phone darling .. You may have an interesting conversation with someone .. Or be sold another mobile you don't need, lol.



I generally don't like when people make assumptions about my thoughts or feelings either, but I especially don't like it when my girlfriend does it. As I have gotten older the less I have felt the need to correct those who assume wrong, but I feel that my girlfriend should ask me over assume my thoughts or feelings.

My biggest weakness is in the affection/encouragement dept. It's a natural thing for me as an ISTJ- I hate talking 'intimately' if the person tries to 'aww baby' me. I'd rather just hear "I understand" or talk solutions, if I'm asking for one. I don't want the pity treatment.

Oh yeah .. I have done that tonight .. Someone assumed something, so i just agreed .. Afterall they have me all figured out.

Does talking solutions though ever get misunderstood for you being impatient??

See, i admit i am impatient with some things, i like some things done now and i like solutions .. Don't moan to me that you want to do something then don't even bother trying but still moan about it .. It doesn't make any sense. However, i am told that i am impatient because i want to talk conclusions/solutions. It seems irrational to me. Hmmm
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Weaknesses:
-Socializing
-Females (Obviously)
-Procrastination and/or motivation (w/ things I really don't want to do :doh:
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Weaknesses:
-Socializing
-Females (Obviously)
-Procrastination and/or motivation (w/ things I really don't want to do :doh:

Whhhhaaaatttttttt?????

Darling .. You do socialise, just not a party animal yet. You meet plenty of females it seems, you are just to picky :newwink: .. And i don't know about the last bit, but seriously, cut yourself some slack, your only human babe.

I have been rereading a book which talks about our perception when viewing certain things and when it comes to our weaknesses, instead of viewing as such, we should just embrace it for what it is (but not people assuming what we are thinking/feeling, lol) We all have positive and negative traits that makes us what we are yet we only seem to focus on the negatives, thus shadowing the positives. I should carry on reading it. Lol :D
 

JTG1984

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
1,477
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
telling the absolute truth. this is my weakness i guess. and by the way, i don't understand why you continue to call me when you should know by now i certainly will not pick up the phone if i don't recognize the caller id. i guess you will just continue to play your guessing games, because to you, it's far more fun to conform to your little formula than to actually have some sort of meaningful conversation. oh well. your loss. but please stop pretending that other people who are different from you actually mean something to you in a good way. you don't even know the definition of 'good'.

You're a retard and not a bit funny.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
^^^ Are you speculating that someone doesn't know the meaning of 'good' as it doesn't conform to your perception of it?
Just answer the phone darling .. You may have an interesting conversation with someone .. Or be sold another mobile you don't need, lol.





Oh yeah .. I have done that tonight .. Someone assumed something, so i just agreed .. Afterall they have me all figured out.

Does talking solutions though ever get misunderstood for you being impatient??

See, i admit i am impatient with some things, i like some things done now and i like solutions .. Don't moan to me that you want to do something then don't even bother trying but still moan about it .. It doesn't make any sense. However, i am told that i am impatient because i want to talk conclusions/solutions. It seems irrational to me. Hmmm

I have never got impatient- but cold. I don't think all problems need a 'woe is me' session before you start talking solutions. Sometimes it's necessary, but not all the time. Unfortunately, the 'woe is me' subjects differ from person to person, so you can never be 100% objective without hurting someone. It's a tough way to be!
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
Whhhhaaaatttttttt?????

Darling .. You do socialise, just not a party animal yet. You meet plenty of females it seems, you are just to picky :newwink: .. And i don't know about the last bit, but seriously, cut yourself some slack, your only human babe.

I have been rereading a book which talks about our perception when viewing certain things and when it comes to our weaknesses, instead of viewing as such, we should just embrace it for what it is (but not people assuming what we are thinking/feeling, lol) We all have positive and negative traits that makes us what we are yet we only seem to focus on the negatives, thus shadowing the positives. I should carry on reading it. Lol :D

I've realized that- my lack of affection or perceived coldness is my flaw, but it doesn't make me a bad person. Overall I'm a very intelligent guy that will go to blows for those closest to him.
 

wrldisquiethere

New member
Joined
Apr 2, 2009
Messages
233
MBTI Type
xSFJ
Enneagram
2w1
I would say mine is .. I don't like people assuming what i am thinking or feeling .. If you want to know then just ask .. Jumping to conclusions only frustrates me
Same here! Same here! Ugh!

My weakness I've realized lately is that I have a hard time expressing myself clearly. Here's what has happened several times and resulted in lots of relationship problems:

-Conflict is faced and discussed
-Friend tells me their assumptions
-I explain the truth, my perspective, and believe I've put their assumptions to rest
-They continue on with their assumptions and judge me based on what they think I was thinking or what my motivation was, regardless of what I said. In one case they even told me they thought I had said the opposite of what I actually had said.

The issue here is twofold: these people refused to take me at my word even though I was 100% honest, and obviously I didn't express myself clearly enough.

I also struggle with getting too emotional during discussions about conflict. I will start to cry and stuff. I really want to get over this and discuss things in a more logical manner.

I also have a hard time talking about what's bothering me. I will make little mentions of it here and there but I struggle with really having a serious conversation with someone about issues. I keep trying to tell myself it doesn't matter and to get over it, and the whole time the problem builds. I hate that about myself, but I'm working on it.
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
My weakness I've realized lately is that I have a hard time expressing myself clearly. Here's what has happened several times and resulted in lots of relationship problems:

I also struggle with getting too emotional during discussions about conflict. I will start to cry and stuff. I really want to get over this and discuss things in a more logical manner.

Yes siree Bob .. I can sit on my own after a heated discussion and clearly verbalise my own thoughts in my head which i know come across as rational and logic .. Yet i am unable to do the same when in the middle of the conflict .. As i feel hurt and i think that i am being unheard.

I read a book recently that spoke about when dealing with conflict, to walk away and take a time out to compose yourself and your thoughts so you are not rambling on, playing the blame game and not reaching any conclusions as it becomes too emotional fueled. I had the opportunity the other night to put this into practice .. It didn't happen .. It will next time though, lol.

Ahhh, the lessons we learn :D
 

wrldisquiethere

New member
Joined
Apr 2, 2009
Messages
233
MBTI Type
xSFJ
Enneagram
2w1
Yes siree Bob .. I can sit on my own after a heated discussion and clearly verbalise my own thoughts in my head which i know come across as rational and logic .. Yet i am unable to do the same when in the middle of the conflict .. As i feel hurt and i think that i am being unheard.

I read a book recently that spoke about when dealing with conflict, to walk away and take a time out to compose yourself and your thoughts so you are not rambling on, playing the blame game and not reaching any conclusions as it becomes too emotional fueled. I had the opportunity the other night to put this into practice .. It didn't happen .. It will next time though, lol.

Ahhh, the lessons we learn :D

Yes. It's like we have the same personality or something. :cheese:
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Yes. It's like we have the same personality or something. :cheese:

:newwink: .. Obviously i am going to stay an SJ as i like the people here :D but .. ESFP 81% ESFJ 77% ESTP 76% .. So at least i know i am an ES, lol.
And i wouldn't change that for the world.
 

BlueSky

New member
Joined
Jun 14, 2009
Messages
52
MBTI Type
ISTJ
I hesitate when I should act. Fortunately, people don't notice that weakness, but that hardly makes the weakness any less severe.
 

Sam Spade

New member
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
71
MBTI Type
ISTj
I have never fit in well with my "peers (fellow undergrads, when I am around grad students or college grads I fit in well and have no problems)" and tend to be a loner in most environments. When I am in a low mood I gravitate towards nihilistic thoughts and feelings. I tend to brood during these periods. My biggest weakness would have to be my overwhelming propensity to be discouraged and pessimistic to an unrealistic level.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Whhhhaaaatttttttt?????

Darling .. You do socialise, just not a party animal yet. You meet plenty of females it seems, you are just to picky :newwink: .. And i don't know about the last bit, but seriously, cut yourself some slack, your only human babe. :D

I do not deserve slack. ...Why would you say such a thing? :unsure:
 
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