User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: ISTJ & Marriage

  1. #1
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    446

    Default ISTJ & Marriage

    When deciding to get married, what does the ISTJ check-list look like?
    What could make them unsure of their potential mate?
    Will they ever be 100% confident in their choice of partner? (seems like Ne-inferior would get in the way, asking too many improbable 'what-if' questions)
    Does it take a long time to make your decision? Seeing as how you are the ultimate planner...

  2. #2
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    164

    Default

    I imagine sharing the same core values is important.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    1)When deciding to get married, what does the ISTJ check-list look like?

    2)What could make them unsure of their potential mate?

    3)Will they ever be 100% confident in their choice of partner? (seems like Ne-inferior would get in the way, asking too many improbable 'what-if' questions)

    4)Does it take a long time to make your decision? Seeing as how you are the ultimate planner...
    1) Marriage Checklist?
    Probably something like this-
    For her:
    -Does she have a job?
    -Is it a good paying job?
    -Permanent or part time?
    -Is she able to support herself?
    -Is she good with money?
    -Does she enjoy my activities/hobbies or at least hearing about them?
    -How much debt does she have, if any?
    -What is her family like?
    -What is her background like?
    -Religion?
    -Is she mature enough and capable of being a good mother?
    -Does she have a sweet/loving personality and is she attractive?
    -Is she fun to be with?
    -Could I see myself with her in the distant future?

    For me:
    -Do I have a job to support two people?
    -Would my job be able to provide for her needs?
    -Am I able to provide adequate safety and security for her at all times?
    -Can I provide a home for both of us?
    -Do I enjoy being with her?
    -Does she understand my humor?
    -Does she like my playful banter?
    -Do I enjoy her activities or at least hearing about them?
    -Am I able to be a good father?
    -How much debt do I have?
    -Do I appreciate her for who she is, not who I want her to be?
    -Do we share the same values?
    -Same religion?
    -Do our families get along?
    -Have I seen her through "all the seasons"?
    -In other words, have I dated her for at least one full year and enjoyed it?

    I could probably go on but it's a start....

    2) Hmm... what would make me unsure?
    Her background...
    If she had a history of family issues, for instance, if she grew up in a broken home with substance abuse, instability, physical abuse, divorced/separated parents, and if she moved around a lot, that probably would worry me a little. It would especially worry me if she didn't have a good, stable father figure.

    3) Will I ever be 100% sure of the person? Yes, I will.

    4) A long time? It depends, I would take a minimum of 1 full year (from when we first started dating) to make my decision, but probably not more than 2.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,635

    Default

    What about f* cking? :confused:

  5. #5
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post

    For me:
    -Do I have a job to support two people?
    -Would my job be able to provide for her needs?
    -Am I able to provide adequate safety and security for her at all times?
    -Can I provide a home for both of us?
    -Do I enjoy being with her?
    -Does she understand my humor?
    -Does she like my playful banter?
    -Do I enjoy her activities or at least hearing about them?
    -Am I able to be a good father?
    -How much debt do I have?
    -Do I appreciate her for who she is, not who I want her to be?
    -Do we share the same values?
    -Same religion?
    -Do our families get along?
    -Have I seen her through "all the seasons"?
    -In other words, have I dated her for at least one full year and enjoyed it?
    Babe .. Lets throw caution to the wind and just do it .. I am still fertile so i can kick out a kid or two .. What do you say? Say Yes

    OK seriously .. Is this a list you have just come up with or have you known all these answers for some time????
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #6
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    Hype
    Posts
    2,078

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    OK seriously .. Is this a list you have just come up with or have you known all these answers for some time????
    would either surprise you? He's ISTJ FFS!

  7. #7
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Babe .. Lets throw caution to the wind and just do it .. I am still fertile so i can kick out a kid or two .. What do you say? Say Yes

    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    OK seriously .. Is this a list you have just come up with or have you known all these answers for some time????
    I don't understand your question.....
    Well, I guess I have known them for some time because it is basically what I look for. But I am just now putting them in list form.
    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    would either surprise you? He's ISTJ FFS!
    Don't hate.
    :rolli:
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    446

    Default

    So do ISTJs assume that if their partner comes from a broken home/dysfunctional family, that their partner will ultimately carry on in their parents footsteps?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post


    I don't understand your question.....
    Well, I guess I have known them for some time because it is basically what I look for. But I am just now putting them in list form.

    Don't hate.
    :rolli:
    Shush .. You love it

    I get ya, cool .. What if someone comes along but differs from the list slightly .. Say you practice different religions, but it is still workable, would you walk away or give it a try?? Would you turn someone away because they had some huge debt from being in uni? I suppose what i am asking you is .. Is this list concrete and rigid or is there some room for maneuver??

    (i think we have talked about this before)
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #10
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP View Post
    So do ISTJs assume that if their partner comes from a broken home/dysfunctional family, that their partner will ultimately carry on in their parents footsteps?
    No, everyone deserves a chance. I would just be more cautious I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Shush .. You love it

    I get ya, cool .. What if someone comes along but differs from the list slightly .. Say you practice different religions, but it is still workable, would you walk away or give it a try?? Would you turn someone away because they had some huge debt from being in uni? I suppose what i am asking you is .. Is this list concrete and rigid or is there some room for maneuver??

    (i think we have talked about this before)
    The list is flexible except for the religion part.
    Even if our moral values differ a little bit, it would make for more interesting conversations.
    Debt? I'm not so much worried about it, I just want to know ahead of time before we start paying bills and I find out that there is a $250,000 student loan to pay off! But if that happened, I would probably be like "oh well", and start paying it. Granted, I would be a little upset that she was not upfront about having it.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTJ] Why why why are ISTJ sooooo evasive?
    By GirlAmerica in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 12-14-2014, 08:02 PM
  2. [ISTJ] When ISTJ goes wrong
    By substitute in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 07-07-2013, 07:12 PM
  3. [ISTJ] ISTJs, how do you observe and remember so much?
    By ygolo in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 12-24-2009, 02:33 PM
  4. [ISTJ] The Official ISTJ Fanclub Thread
    By RansomedbyFire in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 103
    Last Post: 07-03-2009, 11:09 PM
  5. [ISTJ] Ask the ISTJ
    By RansomedbyFire in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 10-18-2008, 02:01 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO