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  1. #1
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Default SJ and the need for excessive control

    I notice that this is one of the more negative trait that SJs are often known for. So to drag up an old topic...

    Anybody feel like they need lots of control? Why do you do it?
    Last edited by Snow Turtle; 01-02-2010 at 10:54 AM.

  2. #2
    Member Sam Spade's Avatar
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    I do and my theory is because I was forced to move around as a kid (over 10 times and every 2 years on average) and thus had zero control. My life would pretty much end with every move since I knew I wouldn't see friends again, etc. I hate the idea of an outsider taking control of my life without my input.
    "Knights had no meaning in this game. It wasn't a game for knights."

  3. #3
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I feel like I need a comprehensive life plan for the next decade. People keep telling me that it's not really possible to do that at this point in my life, but I still feel like I need that sort of control. I'm trying to get over that, currently...
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Max's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I feel like I need a comprehensive life plan for the next decade. People keep telling me that it's not really possible to do that at this point in my life, but I still feel like I need that sort of control. I'm trying to get over that, currently...
    Once again, you've already given my input for me.

    What I really want specifically is my own secure, permanent home in Lakeland, and to not have to worry about moving or getting kicked out, or having to mooch off of somebody.

    And of course, I'm always getting told by those around me (mostly Ps), Every day is a new day. While that and spontaneity may work for them, it makes me uncomfortable. And then they don't like to be confronted with schedules or plans or thinking far ahead, while that's what I really need.

  5. #5
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Eh I don't really like too much control, but I do want to control the future because generally I don't like the feeling of not knowing what lies ahead. Also I like to control the little things, like where I sit and such.

  6. #6
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    I don't like to control people, but I like to control things that go on.

    For instance, my girlfriend can do whatever she wants, but I like to plan things so I don't overlap important activities.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Excessive control .. In the past, hell yes. I needed to have control over everything and anything .. Everything needed to work exactly the way i wanted it too.

    Lately .. Shit happens if you have control over it or not, so let it go and just handle what life throws at you when it happens. I have balanced my J with my Pness

    Control = Stress .. I don't like stress so i don't want to control.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #8
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    I don't like to control people, but I like to control things that go on.

    For instance, my girlfriend can do whatever she wants, but I like to plan things so I don't overlap important activities.
    That's me right there. I don't want to control my girl; I just don't want her to run amuck and mess stuff up.

  9. #9
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    That's me right there. I don't want to control my girl; I just don't want her to run amuck and mess stuff up.
    O man see! This is what I mean. Why are you with her if you honestly think she is going to run amok and "Mess things up?".

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
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    Right Brain Dominant

  10. #10
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    My mother, ISTJ, likes knowing that she's got everything under control, because the instant something goes amiss she panics. I would know, since she's a bit of a mother hen and doesn't like her chickadees to run too far...ENFP dad thinks she has control problems with letting us grow up.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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