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  1. #11
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    A parent is one thing, a partnership with 2 adults is another. MANY parents are helicopter parents - always hovering about.

    It is not the responsibility of one person in a relationship to supervise the other so that they don't interfere with their perfectly planned life.

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
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    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  2. #12
    Senior Member alexx's Avatar
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    I wonder if many ISTJ's could tolerate being in a relationship with another ISTJ, or ESTJ for that matter.

    Off to look that one up!

    89% Extroverted ~ 68% Intuition ~ 84% Feeling ~ 89% Perceiving
    Enneagram: 2w1 SO/SP Socionics: ENFp
    Cognitive Process
    Se 30.4% Si 19.1% - Ne 38.4% Ni 26.4% - Te 23.1% Ti 20% - Fe 46.4% Fi 35.8%
    Sanguine | Phlegmatic
    Right Brain Dominant

  3. #13
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I agree with you, alexx. I'm not interested in being my partners parent. Funnily enough, there are people who do want their partner to parent them and they look for SJs for that reason. When I get a sense that someone I've met wants that, I usually back away slowly. I think some people find that dynamic attractive though, from both sides.

  4. #14
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Yeah I don't see how she can "mess things up"... whatever she gets herself into I am going with her no matter what... that's why it is called a "partnership". Yes?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Junior Member Tea-Snob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I agree with you, alexx. I'm not interested in being my partners parent. Funnily enough, there are people who do want their partner to parent them and they look for SJs for that reason. When I get a sense that someone I've met wants that, I usually back away slowly. I think some people find that dynamic attractive though, from both sides.
    I agree, the problem with taking on "the parent of your partner" role is that parent-child mind set is a very powerful and you can become stuck. I guess a successful relationship of that sort would be when a partner switched between the "parent / child" role and a more mutual one. I am only guessing though as that isnt my experience..
    [sits down in front of the computer] Subject: Fire. "Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of..." no, that's too formal [Deletes] "Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best."

  6. #16
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    I have balanced my J with my Pness
    You have a Pness? And here I thought you had woman parts.

    As far as me and control is concerned, I would say that I try hard not to control other people. More than anything I need to be in control in regards to just being aware of what plans are...what is going to happen...a rough schedule of the day, etc.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  7. #17
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexx View Post
    O man see! This is what I mean. Why are you with her if you honestly think she is going to run amok and "Mess things up?".
    I think if she was a little more expressive, we'd be okay. But I'm loving another introvert, so sometimes I don't know her moves until after she takes them. Don't particularly feel that.

  8. #18
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alexx View Post
    A parent is one thing, a partnership with 2 adults is another. MANY parents are helicopter parents - always hovering about.

    It is not the responsibility of one person in a relationship to supervise the other so that they don't interfere with their perfectly planned life.
    I don't want to supervise another adult- that's the furthest thing from the truth.

  9. #19
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Mess things up is a joke SJs.....RELAX.

    But as I'm naturally one who is not comfortable with unpredictability, it makes me nervous when I don't know what's going on with my partner. That's why communication is necessary.

  10. #20
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    from my vantage point controlling others is a dysfunctional component of the ego. personally i will not become involved with a person of a relationship sort due to prior experience with someone who wanted to have a say in everything i did, thought, went, (well he was pretty ok with me being gone), wore, spent, parented, ate, bought, decorated...get the picture? he was a J of some kind and mosre than likely introverted and convincingly T with a dash of S to top it off.

    could have been my imagination though.

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