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Thread: ISFJ in love

  1. #11
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeatheredFrenzy View Post
    Bingo!

    CareTaker with Expert (INTJ): Taking Care of Mind Business

    The Joys: These two like to keep things neat and orderly in their home and work lives. They enjoy structure, stability, and predictability their schedules and day-to-day life. As Introverts, they prefer a quieter, private home-based lifestyle that affords them a relaxed, pleasant environment with minimal noise and distractions. Sure, a few friends can come over once in a while, but not too many and not too often.

    The Frustrations: The Caretaker will often complain about the emotional distance of the the Expert: "Why don't they show more verbal and physical affection? Why does an 'I love you' cost you that much? "It isn't necessary to say the words all the time," replies the logically-minded Expert. "I love you in my own way; why should I have to tell you all the time? You're too needy and emotional. Be more logical like me."

    And more...

    (INTJ) personality commonly referred to as "The Expert"

    You are the most independent and strong-willed (some might say stubborn) of all the LoveTypes. Once you make up your mind to do something - whether it’s starting or ending a relationship, or anything in between - you will do what you want to do. And God help anyone who tries to dissuade you.

    INTJ when in love

    You, Ms. or Mr. Expert (only 2 percent of society), are a deep thinker who is always analyzing your relationships and asking the question: does this person fit my detailed design of what an ideal mate should be like? Often the answer is “no,” because your capacity for creating the blueprint for this “perfect mate” often exceeds your ability to find him or her in the real world. Competence and intelligence are two of the most important qualities you look for in a mate. You admire someone who is well-educated and successful in his or her chosen field. Although you prefer someone whose intellect is as sharp as yours, you may fall in love with someone who is not your intellectual equal. When this happens, you may always have that nagging doubt in the back of your mind: “Is this person smart enough for me?”

    (But seriously, that's all I got! *shrug*)
    Weeeee! Tankies!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristiana View Post
    Haha. I'm an INTJ and so is my husband. The stubborn part fits me very well, but the part about affection isn't like us at all. We are very physically affectionate with each other, and we tell each other we love one another about 50 times a day!

    The orderly part isn't true about us either, haha... one look at our condo and you'll agree
    Yeah I kind of have to agree. I'm very physically affectionate with my ISFJ, so he doesn't need to complain about a lack of that. However, I'll admit that I'm not very verbally affectionate, but he isn't either. Whenever we try to be it just feels...awkward.

    Also, our apartment is a disaster. You'd think that an INTJ/ISFJ place would be immaculate.

    EDIT: But there are some things that are very accurate in that description. As for the INTJ description it's pretty accurate. Both my fiance and my father (both SJ's) whom I'm closest with and know me the best will always tell me when they're about to give up on trying to get me to do something, "Well, you'll do what you want. You always do." Yeah, I think strong-willed (stubborn?) and independent describes me quite well, as does the part about the ridiculously high standards.

    As for the relationship with my ISFJ, it is probably one of the few stable things in my life right now, and I'm so thankful it's there because I really do need it. Same could be said with my ISTJ father, except obviously it's not romantic.

    But I know for one thing that I would never call my fiance needy or clingy, or tell him to be more logical. If he was like that I would've left a long time ago, and I know better than to tell him to be something he's not (though he is pretty logical for an ISFJ.) I like our dynamic because it's a great learning experience. I can make up for what he lacks and vice versa. It gives me a different perspective in looking at things. I don't always have to agree with it, but I can still respect it. I mean, I don't want another me in the house. I know what I'm like and that's enough, thank you. INTJ's love to learn but sometimes we tend to close ourselves off from people that we don't understand. That's why INTJ/SJ relationships tend to have a bad track record, because neither one takes the initiative to understand the other.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  2. #12
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeatheredFrenzy View Post
    (But seriously, that's all I got! *shrug*)
    Oh, come on... we want to see the rest of them too!


    Quote Originally Posted by FeatheredFrenzy View Post
    So welcome It seems like we get mad an awful lot, doesn't it? I was reading them one after another and thought "hmm, wait a minute.......they all end with us getting: :steam: "
    haha yeah but they each ended with the frustrations and it's written from the ISFJ POV. The other types involved are getting just as frustrated with us.


    Quote Originally Posted by SubjectA View Post
    That's why INTJ/SJ relationships tend to have a bad track record, because neither one takes the initiative to understand the other.
    I can't remember where but I actually read yesterday that INTJ/ISFJ was the most common and successful pairing of all type pairings. Weird, huh? lol

  3. #13
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I can't remember where but I actually read yesterday that INTJ/ISFJ was the most common and successful pairing of all type pairings. Weird, huh? lol
    That is strange. I've read contradicting information elsewhere. Oh well.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #14
    Senior Member FeatheredFrenzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubjectA View Post
    I like our dynamic because it's a great learning experience. I can make up for what he lacks and vice versa. It gives me a different perspective in looking at things. I don't always have to agree with it, but I can still respect it.
    Your relationship is enviable and I think it shows the ways that an INTJ/ISFJ pairing can be a great one. There's enough difference to keep things interesting and enough commonality to keep things cohesive. But between these two types, there's something uniquely comfortable about it.

    What you said about making up for what the other lacks is quite true. This semester I took a chemistry class, and during the first lab assignment, we had to partner up. I looked over at an INTJ student and she looked over at me... it was like, "okay, you look like the smartest person in the room, let's do this!" The class size is huge, but I have to say we've been making a killing all semester. I use my abilities of observation and memorization to catch the fine details while she puts her swiftness, cleverness, and broad perspective to good use. She never seems to get bogged down by hurdles or difficulties.

    Another thing, I am forever trying to get a laugh out of this girl. I'll say something and I know for a fact that she thinks it's funny, but she typically stifles her reaction. Won't give it up. One can still try though!

  5. #15
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    I'm really curious on the ISFJ and ISTP pairing. Thoughts?

  6. #16
    Junior Member octophantish's Avatar
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    What about ISFJ and ENTJ? I am interested in a guy whom I think is ISFJ. I've read a lot of stuff on the Internet that says it is not a good match, mainly because the ISFJ doesn't not like to debate. However, if I don't enjoy debating as much as a regular ENTJ, will it be a better match?

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